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Should I be angry?

smoothguy

smoothguy

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My best friend of 10 years had plans for the past 2 month to go to a concert on Friday night , we are both bi and have slept together monthly if not more since high school.
Even though we both have live in girlfriends who don't know of our sharing a bed now , I know it sucks and is shitty of us but it just seems like a continuious reaffirming of bonding and friendship.
Anyways the Weds. before the concert Jakes girlfriend makes plans and reservations to go camping with another couple and doesn't invite Becky or myself. Usually we all do thing together.
Jakes girlfriend knew we were going to the show but deceided that Jake was going camping instead of the show with me. My girlfriend has no problem with guys night out now and then and couldn't beleive Tina ( Jakes Lady ) did that.
Jake is torn and couldn't deceide what to do. Either way she or I would be hurt and mad. I should have told him to go campiing but it really bothered me that she would pull this crap.
He ended up texting me friday morning at 11 about an hour before we were to leave that he won't be coming to the show but going camping.
We had agreed earlier that he would go to the show then meet up with the campers Sat. morning which was about a 1/2 hr drive from our area.
After the texted me this long " I am so sorry note " I just replied with 2 word....which were " Fuck Off "
I immediately texted again and said sorry and have a good time camping and a few other things so he knew I meant it.
I haven't heard from him since then and we usually texted each other all day and talk on ther phone.
I feel he has no reason to be pissed as I was the one who paid for the tickets ( I didn't go , I didn'y wanna go alone ) and I wa sthe one stood up at the last minute.
Any ideas on how I should proceed? I have texted him 3 times since Friday and called once.
 
Either ditch the girlfriends and get with each other or it's gonna continue to be a complication and strain for the rest of your friendship. In fact, the way it's going, it looks like it could tear what you have apart.
 
1. sorry for that... i imagine how you feel!

2. it was just partially his fault... the big one was made by his GF who already knew about your plans. Anyway he shoud have gone with you just because you asked before... but it is hard to say this as he may have made lots of thinkig to decide with whom he was gonna go.

3. you had the right the be angry. I mean a real friendship exists when you can speak openly.

4. give him a couple days without calling or texting. see if he does. then try again to text/call and if this not work go at his place to speak in person. He may have misunderstood or be angry because he may have expected you to understand his situation. Tell him you did...

good luck :)
 
Should you be angry that your friend doesn't consider your "have a nice time" text to completely negate your "fuck off" text? I dunno - that's up to you.

Lex
 
It seems strange that the girlfrend pulled this stunt, is there any possibility that she suspects something, or, may just be plain jealous over the friendship ?
 
Sounds like he did exactly what you told him to do in your text. You had a right to be angry, but no right to talk to a friend like that.
 
you couldn't get your girlfriend or another friend to go to the concert?
 
Oh one more thing, I would lay down the law and make it very clear that when you have plans (especially paid for inadvance plans), they he tell you he's not going ASAP and that next time, he'll have to pay for tickets knowing very well you had plans. Also, voice your opinion that she wasn't being very nice by trumping plans she already knew about. Don't be whiny, don't be bitchy, don't be bitter, just be matter of fact and say what he did was uncool and a dick move.
 
My goodness.

So much drama.

Why would two bi boys with girlfriends think that their social lives would be complicated?

Look.

It is about choices. Each one you make will have an impact on someone else.

When you boys are fucking behind you girlfriends' backs, it affects you, not the gfs.

When you have to choose who you're going to spend time with, it will affect the other.

This is about jealousy, pure and simple.

So. Stop behaving like you own one another and start understanding that the bonds you have may not be as strong as you want or think.

Start behaving like mature adult men though and understand that this isn't high school anymore where you can casually blow someone off to go and do something else and expect to maintain a good relationship.
 
Thanks Guys

Thanks Guys for replying. Well he texted me last night and we went for a drive and had a good long talk . We both said we were sorry he for his actions and me for my words. And all is good between us. This was only the second that in the last 3 years since the we both have had girlfriends at the same time that a fight has occured involving one of our GFs.
He told me about the pressure he had been under from her all week from her to go had I realised how bad it had been I would have told him to go camping.
Anyways Thanks for the advice.
 
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