Should I date someone who is looking for hookups?

[backpacker]

Only you can decide what works for you. Some people would have an issue with it, while others wouldn't. Since you are not in a committed relationship, I don't view it as cheating.

If you and he are having sex on a regular basis, I would have to wonder why he has the need to hookup off of Craigslist. Does he have a need to have sex with multiple partners or would he be willing to commit? I think it's time you have a talk with him so that you both know what direction your relationship is headed. He may be the type who likes to date around, but isn't looking for a serious relationship. During that conversation you may want to ask him if he has been having sex with anyone else. If he says yes, at least he is honest. If he says no, you know he can't be trusted.

What little information I could gleam from your posting, my guess is that the two of you are looking for different things.

 

[texan_slant]

If it's OK with you, and you've assessed the disadvantages, I don't see why not.

 

[KaraBulut]

It's not a question of whether you should break up with him.

It's a question of "What do you want from a relationship?".

If you're looking for monogamy or at least some sort of commitment that doesn't include Craigslist hookups, then you give him a chance to make that commitment. If he can't give you what you want/need from a relationship, then it's pretty clear that he's not the one for you.

 

[altlover85]

Is it reasonable to expect a guy not to be hooking up with other guys even if a relationship hasn't really been established?

No, it's not reasonable unfortunately because a lot of people need to have the talk about exclusivity in order to establish it or decide against it. I would talk to him about where things are going with the relationship and go from there.

Here are a few other questions that I'd like to pose. Who knows if he's actually been having sex? You said someone replied to his ad, but you didn't say what was in the reply. Perhaps they were going to meet up for sex? Who knows?

One thing I don't like is that he has his profile and then a separate Craigslist thing. To me, it seems like he wants to appear dateable, but at the same time have fun on the side. It seems a little duplicitous to me, personally.

In closing, I'd talk to him about where you both see the relationship going. I would talk about exclusivity in that talk as well.

Good luck!

 

[wooffy]

Is it reasonable to expect a guy not to be hooking up with other guys even if a relationship hasn't really been established?

No, of course not. It is never reasonable to expect or require anything from someone else without mutual consent. If, and only if, he agrees to monogamy can you expect it. From the sounds of it he is honest and open, not even trying to hide his hook-ups from you (not that they are any of your business at this point) - so you owe him the same honesty. Talk to HIM about your desires.

You say you have been "dating" for a few weeks - even putting the quotes around the word, implying you're not even certain - and you are seriously expecting him to be exclusive to you?

 

[Ryanssuperman]

I'm going to be the devils advocate and disagree with every one of you.

If you're casually dating, his sexual activity is none of your business, unless you make it.

So unless you're going to step up to the plate and say "I want to be exclusive sexually"...what he does in his spare time is none of your business. If you don't like what he does, don't date him, or ask him to stop. Pretty simple.

 

[mbamike]

Yes, what not? It could turn into something more.

I met my guy on Adam4Adam as a hook up. The sex was fantastic!

Now it appears there may be a little more to it. He has asked me to be exclusive with him.