Should I Go For It?

[Seasoned]

The lesson to take away is that you took a risk and risk taking is feeling the fear and doing it anyway, not being able to predict the outcome. The outcomes from risk taking are learning experiences and the process bolsters self esteem.

In this case you've gotten some closure and are no longer burdened by fantasy and the "butterflies in the stomach" feeling. Good for you!

 

[borg69unimatrix]

I agree with Seasoned...

You've gained way more from this experience than your perception of lost. You should be very proud of yourself!!!

 

[Rolyo85]

Well, just talked to him again, and he said he's not gay. I said I'm just interested in a friendship (okay... so I lied), but he still said he doesn't know.

I told him that I would leave him alone now, because he is still very uncomfortable around me. But I highly doubt I'll get a text from the guy.

Yes, you won't, because he does know, and the answer is no. Your lie was transparent, and that's a normal thing. Listen to Seasoned on this one.

 

[johnfkennedy]

Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement. I'm not giving up on a friendship with the guy. But I will leave it until after Christmas, when I've gotten over the news. (I developed a huge crush.)

I do know he is uncomfortable around others, and not just myself, because he was like that before he even knew that I liked him.

But I'll gain his trust and his friendship. And if I have any lingering feelings, I'll put them aside. And of course, if he doesn't want to talk, then I'll get the hint that he doesn't want anything to do with me.

I do feel privalaged with the experience I have gained. Yes, I could have done lots of things differently, and not been as forward, and not given him my number without actually having a proper conversation with the guy. But, like you all have said, especially Seasoned. Life is about taking risks. I took a risk, and the outcome wasn't as I'd have hoped, but I am a stronger person for taking the risk and getting let down. I knew it was a risk from the start, and I know it's now over. As I see him in passing, there will not be any "what ifs", but there will be a smile on my face because I tried.

Like I said, I'll attempt a friendship with him next year. And unless he is definitely not interested, then I won't give up until we are friends.

Thank you to everyone who gave me advice. I have learned something, and I hope my experience can help others in similar situations.

I'll keep you all updated in regards to friendship with Morrisons Man.

Peace and love. JFK.

 

[Rolyo85]

You don't know the guy yet you'll pursue a "friendship" with him aggressively? This is creepy.

 

[waz101]

Wow! It was easier when we used to all just hook up in Gay bars, at least we all knew what we were there for... Although Sainsbury's in Salford, UK has more gay men in it than most Clubs do on a Saturday morning.

 

[mano]

Friendship is a bad idea if you have a crush. You can't just turn off your feelings. Need to let this go and move on.

 

[johnfkennedy]

You don't know the guy yet you'll pursue a "friendship" with him aggressively? This is creepy.

Not aggressively. And he's not actually said that he doesn't want to be friends.

Friendship is a bad idea if you have a crush. You can't just turn off your feelings. Need to let this go and move on.

I know I can't turn off my feelings, but I can get used to the idea that nothing is going to progress as a relationship with him. I've been friends with an ex girlfriend that I loved more than anything. But now those feelings are gone because I know she doesn't want to date me again.

 

[orton86]

Friendship is a bad idea if you have a crush. You can't just turn off your feelings. Need to let this go and move on.

I agree with mano- 100%. It would be different if you met him, and you liked his personality first. You only want to be "friends" with him because you were attracted to him first.

It's just a big mistake by hoping that he'll change his mind. Sorry to break it to you, JFK.

 

[Rolyo85]

Not aggressively. And he's not actually said that he doesn't want to be friends.

I know I can't turn off my feelings, but I can get used to the idea that nothing is going to progress as a relationship with him. I've been friends with an ex girlfriend that I loved more than anything. But now those feelings are gone because I know she doesn't want to date me again.

Um, yes but this is not someone who was in your life previously. This is a straight stranger and the ONLY connection you had with him was a homosexual crush. There's no point of contact to build a friendship on, and he already knows you want him.

Which is why this is creepy. Leave the guy alone and move on.

 

[johnfkennedy]

Okay then. I'll back off. Thanks for the advice, people!

 

[Seasoned]

I think that's a good idea. The thing to take away from this is knowing you had the courage to give it a shot.

 

[HunterM]

You mean I bought this ring for nothing?!

I'm trying again tomorrow. I think Morrisons might start giving me royalties the amount of times I've been this week!

I just went back to Morrison's, and he wasn't there again. I'll try again tomorrow, or even leave it until Saturday. But, to be honest, I'm running out of things to buy at Morrison's. Haha!

So, I saw my guy at work today (finally). But I was extremely nervous. (I have anxiety, so talking to ugly people is hard - talking to fit ones in near impossible!)

johfkennedy,
You may be shy. Clearly you have a sense of humor. Capitalize on that! Use humor to chat up with people, men and women, to overcome your shyness. Start with finding every opportunity to talk to ugly people. Practice on them. Then...making small talks with hot guys will be easier. It will roll off your tongue a lot more natural than just your drool.

Practice makes perfect. So go! Go refine the art of making small talks with strangers.

 

[ElmosToe]

This thread makes me want to touch myself and think dirty thoughts.






ok, there, I just rubbed one knee and realized the kitchen floor is really dirty.



To the OP,
either way, your situation is cute and funny.
if you do end up just being friends, nothing wrong with having benefits...(hehehe)

*scurries away like a school girl, prancing merrily with arms flailing*