Should I tell him I´m bi?

[Piquechampion]

Ok, I´m kinda dating this guy, and my bisexuality hasn´t been discussed. Should I tell him?

Also, should I ask him if he´s bi? His buddies do tease him with some girl, and he gets all embarrassed and shit. When we go out, I haven´t really observed if he looks at girls or not... I guess on the beach he does, but who wouldn´t (it´s summer here in BCN and the girls and guys are hot ).

The thing is, and I know this sounds incredibly hypocritical, but if he´s bi, I wouldn´t let myself fall for him ... too many guys have been burned by bisexuals

Any thoughts??

 

[sentirpromesas]

id say dont ask unless he asks...and dont be so hard on urself, thats what happens when we internalize our own oppression...

 

[aberfitch0206]

ouch. that does seem a little hypocritical.

But, your feeling are understandable. However you should probably give him a chance even if he is Bi because you don't want to loose out on someone awesome because of someone else's experience (since when did labels become so darn important)


And in regards to your being Bi and his possible bisexuality, just talk to him about it. But, you should think first where your relationship stands. Would you leave him as quickly for a girl as you would for another guy? May put a new perspective on the relationship.

Good Luck!

 

[Vacabbie]

You should talk to him and tell him also. Without honesty in any relationship...it ends BAD.

 

[TaigaStar]

I think you should be honest with him. And if he is bi as well, you should give him a chance. In reality, you can't hold something against someone and not expect others to hold it against you.

 

[KennyD]

Secrets are not a way to start a relationship ...

 

[Candyapple]

The thing is, and I know this sounds incredibly hypocritical, but if he´s bi, I wouldn´t let myself fall for him ... too many guys have been burned by bisexuals

Yeah, and of course nobody's ever been 'burned' by a gay guy. And men never get 'burned' by women, or vice versa.

If you like the guy, at least give him a chance, don't write him off because he *may be* bi! Especially as you're bi yourself - you're right, it does sound hypocritical.

 

[rhodie]

I believe in "communication"

 

[Piquechampion]

If you like the guy, at least give him a chance, don't write him off because he *may be* bi! Especially as you're bi yourself - you're right, it does sound hypocritical.

Of course I would continue dating him... but I just wouldn´t allow myself to fall in love with him.

 

[Candyapple]

Of course I would continue dating him... but I just wouldn´t allow myself to fall in love with him.

Why are you wagging your finger at me?

OK, if you want to try and stop yourself falling in love with a guy simply because he *may* be bi, because of some attitude you have that bi guys are more likely to leave you or cheat on you or whatever - despite the fact that you're bi yourself - than that's entirely up to you. But do you think that any gay guy you might fall in love in love with in the future is less likely to 'burn' you than a bi guy? Do you honestly think that guys don't sometimes get burned by gay men? Or men by women?

The problem is not in his possible bisexuality, but in your own attitude.

 

[TheTrish]

Hi, lug! Yes, of couirse.

Wouldn't it be the ultimate irony if he's gay but backed away because you are bi???

Please, tell him now.

T

 

[Luvtolook]

Treat him the way you would like to be treated. I would always want honesty ... the longer you leave it the harder it will be.