Should I tell my best friend?

[pocono]

Ok... so in a few weeks I'm going to be spending a weekend in Florida with my best friend. He is very straight (Republican and everything) and although he is good looking I'm not sexually attracted to him.

In any event, I'm older, single, and like Broadway shows. I kind of want to tell him I'm gay, but believe deep in my heart he already knows. We don't talk about it, but... he has to know something is up (I never talk about girls).

Should I leave things alone (we have known each other for 20+ years and are best friends) or risk it. What do you think?

 

[thermodynamics]

Use your best judgment about all of this.

From what you've described, I'd go for it. It doesn't sound like he's going to go all mad on you. There are plenty of reasons to be a Republican (none of them good, as far as I'm concerned), so he may or may not care about gays.

At the very least, you'll be opening his eyes. This is a good thing.

 

[KaraBulut]

Re: Should I tell my best friend?

Can you provide a little more information on your relationship. You've been best friends for 20 years and never have talked about the subject?

 

[landers]

If you think he already knows then he probably does. At least that's my experience. And if you've known each other for 20 years then he should be able to judge you as a person based on your character and not your sexual orientation and know that being gay doesn't change who you are or the friend you've been.

If you need a way to broach the subject try something like "We should go down to the keys for a few days. You can pretend to be my boyfriend so men don't hit on you"

 

[martin6]

20+ years and he hasn't figured it out? Doubtful. So go on and tell him.

If he already suspects (which is likely), he wouldn't even have considered you a friend all this time if he was a bigot.

 

[pocono]

Hi Everyone and thanks much for the responses they have been very helpful.

Karabulut asked "Can you provide a little more information on your relationship. You've been best friends for 20 years and never have talked about the subject?"

I'm very lucky to have a real best friend. We have seen many good times and helped each other through many bad times. He lives a few hours away so I don't see him all that often and at times weeks go by and we don't talk. Then... boom an hour a day on the phone for two weeks. We get together for a "boys only" weekend (his wife is a peach) from once or twice each year. So...we are truly old fashioned "Best Friends." And...nope we have never discussed my sex life.

 

[texan_slant]

It "sounds" like a stable friendship - so I would go with your gut.

 

[KaraBulut]

I'm very lucky to have a real best friend. We have seen many good times and helped each other through many bad times.

Normally, I would say that by keeping this information from your best friend, you are short-changing him from a very important part of your life.

But after 20 years, he probably knows that you've got a secret and he probably knows what that secret is. If he wanted to talk about it, he probably would have given you the opportunity to do so.

At this point- after 20 years- if you like each other and you enjoy your boy's weekends away, there's no need to bring the subject up. Enjoy the friendship and don't worry about it.

If at some point you settle down and you have a long-term relationship or you want your friend to be more involved in your day-to-day life, you can re-evaluate whether to tell him.