sleeping with someone at work!

[snake2236]

hay everyone! i need some advise, coz everyone on here are pretty much the only people i can talk to about my situations.
About 5 months ago, it was my mums b'day and we went for a meal where she works at a bar/resturant. there was this really cute guy there who was one of the chefs. at the end we all had a little too much to drink and he ended up coming back to ours. It wasn't until then that he told my mum that he fancied the pants off me and wondered if i was gay. my mum just shrugged her shoulders. my sister told me he liked me, and i was like ok thats kinda weird (im not out for being bi) also, there was a gorgeous girl there who was a freind of my brothers who happens to be a model for Guchi. she wanted to sleep with me ( she sneaked into my bed and took all her clothes off). but i lied to her and said i have a girlfreind and really i couldn't stop thinking about this guy who is gay and sitting down stairs wanting me. she was really dissapointed and ended up sleeping down stairs on the sofa. this guy and me were chatting in the kitchen and listening to music drinking wine and it started off just being freindly and then he told me that he liked me and i said yer i know you do and by the way im bi. he looked at me for a second then said can i kiss you and i said yes. the next thing i know we are kissing and then he started sucking me off. i said lets take it upstairs and he said ok. we spent the whole night having sex. the next morning we came downstairs and everyone looked at us. my mum, my sister, the fit girl, i tried to act normal and when he left, i felt really relieved. i missed him, it was a good night, but i felt awkward and it was weird. but at the back of my mind, i couldn't stop thinking about how amazing it was to cuddle up next to a guy something i've never done before. anyways, he ended up going back to his home country poland, and i have never seen him since. i ended up getting a job there at the bar as a bar manager, and all the chefs knew that we had slept together because he had told them. before i knew it, within a week, everyone thought i was either gay or bi. i spoke to my mum and told her that the way i see it, life's to short. i kiss all my male freinds as a way of saying i love you so much as a freind. she belived me when i said we didn't sleep together. i should have told her the truth there and then. she completly understood and and said as long as your happy, i'm happy.
the staff i work with are all wicked people, but they make constant jokes about my sexuality, weather it be coz i look gay or coz i look really young for my age and am a model and an inspiring actor. i just need some advise guys coz i need to know when the time should come to stop all the lies and just say what is really going on in my life coz at the end of the day i think it will make me alot happier to know which to choose. stay in the closet and have fun behind everyones backs, or come out.

 

[hottie1982]

I came out when I was 18. The reason that I came out was because I was tired of hiding the fact that I was gay. At the time I had a really great boyfriend and I didn't want to hide the fact that I was seeing him. In other words I didn't want to hide it from my friends and family. At the time I actually thought that I was going to spend the rest of my life with this guy. Well that didn't happen. We broke up the following year. But I'm still glad I came out. I hated hiding the fact I was gay. Soon my life really started working out for the better. I got a great job at a company where about 6 other employees including one of the board of directors is gay, and my family and most of my friends accepted the fact I was gay. The only advice I guess i could give you is do what your comfortable with. I couldn't pretend anymore thats why I came out and Im glad I did.

 

[Eternaldarkness]

I am just going to focus on your question and not on all the other details your provided.

Honestly, since everyone is talking behind your back and some even knows what happened between you two, you need to accept yourself as who you are.

If you're bi, come out as a proud bi man, if you're gay, come out as a proud gay man.. you know what I mean?

Its a chance for you to take all the weight off the shoulder. Since everyone as already assumed, why not take the opportunity to open new doors for the future? When more people know the real you... who knows, you'll meet even more people like yourself. More chances of finding love!

Ofcourse, the ultimate decision is yours. You can go on and pretend or lie, but eventually things will not be hidden forever.

If they laugh about your sexuality just simply say " Yes, I like other men and just to let y'all know..if you're interested you know whom to find"

People sometimes laugh and gossip about the things that we desperately fail to hide. We take that as a negative because we are not completely comfortable dealing with it.

 

[jonty71]

Do what you are most comfortable with. To be honest no ones sex life is anything to do with anyone else except them and their partner. The comment you made "have fun behind everyones backs or come out" i find a bit strange, why should anyone feel they have to tell the world what they like to do in private with another human being. Do heterosexuals, tell you there sexual fantasies, or what they do in bed with there partner.
I guess not, so you are not doing anything behind anyones back, you are just being yourself, and its your private life. And thats why its called a private life, i rest my case. do what you want to do, you don't need to explain to family or friends.

 

[drinksinme]

man i have problems.

 

[Kyanimal]

It has taken Me a Very Long Time to learn that the Best thing to do is Be Yourself! Follow Your OWN Heart, and Mind! And ... if Anyone else has a "problem" with that ... it is Just "That" ... Their "Problem"!!

No matter what ...

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[SilverRRCloud]

I always go by the rule that your sexual life is only yours and thus, completely private. You call the shots and you let (or not) other people know about it.

However, judging by all the background information in your post, I'd say that you live in an environment, where 'private' and 'privacy' don't precisely get spelled in block letters. Under such circumstances, you may actually do better by simply telling everybody around that you are bi and gay and straight and whoever else you may choose to be, so that they can focus on the other issues in their lives and leave you to your own affairs.

SC