Sniffademskidz's Funny Stuff

[Sniffademskidz]

"At eight o clock this lad he wakes, at ten past eight i see his cakes, at half past.eight my ladder breaks!

When I'm cleaning windows!

(Adapted from George Formby!)

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Traditionally the winner is the guy who sinks the black but I can quite understand how potting the pink might be deened to be the greater prize!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Once you've fingered his ring you'll want to put a ring on his finger!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Let's hear it for Elvis Presley and the Pet Shop Boys!

"You were always on my mind!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Well this time tomorrow night she'll be lying where you are and i promise not to breathe a word!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"If you like this you'll just love "Cock climbing" starring Kenzo Alvarez and Danny Fantasy!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Gives new meaning to the expression:

"To give someone the heads up!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Cocky Clacton Clones Cream Coworkers Chavvy Cunts in Cancun!"

How's that for alliteration!?

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Isn't it about time they brought out a jockstrap that fits all noses!?

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Before you accept a lift from a stranger it's really important to check that they are willing to go all the way!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Multitasking is not exclusively the province of the female!

This man also makes the holes in doughnuts and unblocks drains!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-I'm pretty certain I've got the equipment to fix your stink pipe Sir!

-That makes two of us then!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Gives new meaning to the expression:

"SPECIAL DELIVERY!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

This young Romanian has a rather unfortunate name:

WILYU FUKMAPUSI!

Each time he was asked his name when he arrived in Britain his answer was greeted as an invitation and consequently he is now looking for a cream to apply to his very sore bottom!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

......
"So do exactly what it says on the sock!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

About to be catapulted onto the market we proudly present TODGERMATE!

Guaranteed to:

-Unblock drains and sinks!

-Whip up a frothy milkshake or omelette!

-Make holes big enough to plant potatoes!

-Act as a very effective draught excluder in cold weather!

No home should be without one!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-I want to go out for a test run!

-The car's not roadworthy! You can't take it out yet!

-I ain't talking about the car!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-I really appreciate your teaching me English idioms outside class time Sir!

-What's the idiom today!?

-To say something "tongue in cheek!:

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Good night indeed for the guy who won the the gold medal for the charity shaggathon!

He woke up in the middle of the night with his girlfriend on one side and his bezzie mate on the other and didnt know which way to turn!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Tiger tiger burning bright!
You can lick my nuts but don't you bite!"