So how to deal with this situation

[MEP2491]

So a couple weeks back, I went to this bar with a couple of friends looking to pick up some girls. Throughout the night we all got numbers and two of my friends went home with girls. By this time, I had only drank one beer and was feeling pretty good so I went to the bartender and ordered another beer. Now, I've always considered myself straight with a few homosexual thoughts here and there. Sometimes I even watch gay porn and masturbate to it. But I have never considered myself gay.

So I'm standing at the bar, waiting for my drink when this guy comes over to me and starts talking. We stood there for a couple of minutes talking and I didn't think anything of it. As the conversation grew longer and more personal, I began to feel as if maybe the guy was hitting on me. After about 30 minutes, a beer, and a couple of shots later, the guy says that he finds me really cute and wants to go somewhere private. After hearing this, I'm stunned and tell him I'm flattered but not interested. He then tells me that it's ok to be hesitant, but I need to be accepting of who I really am.

By this point, I don't know what to do. I came to the bar looking for chicks and I'm there now getting hit on by a dude. He then says that he can tell I'm unsure and that maybe a blowjob in the bathroom would change my mind. Now I don't know why I did what I did, maybe it was the alcohol, but I agree and after it was done I ran out of the bathroom and left the bar.

I'm posting this now, weeks after because I have finally come to a point of accepting this situation and what happened. It's weird for me because although it was a man that was doing it to me, I really enjoyed it. For me, I guess my question is whether or not this means something about my sexual orientation.

I've been thinking about this event since it happened and although I consider myself straight, I feel as if I wouldn't be opposed to having this happen again. (The bathroom part, but in a different setting, obviously.) So what do I do?

 

[Autolycus]

There is no reason why you should not explore your sexuality. We are 'cultivated' by society to think that straight is good and all else is bad. However, in these modern times attitudes are changing albeit rather slowly and there are many out there that hold grimly to old attitudes. Sex in all its forms whether it be for procreation or fun is part of our being. Provided you take steps to avoid infection, ensure that no one takes advantage of you and partners know just how far you are prepared to go, embark on whatever it takes to discover yourself.

 

[ElmosToe]

For me, I guess my question is whether or not this means something about my sexual orientation.

It doesn't mean you're gay, or even bi....imo, anyway.

I consider myself straight, I feel as if I wouldn't be opposed to having this happen again.

First of all, I wouldn't consider myself straight merely because I like pussy.
If you're jacking off to gay porn and enjoying a bj from a dude, you're not straight.
Doesn't mean gay or bi either, you're just not entirely straight.

There is no reason why you should not explore your sexuality. We are 'cultivated' by society to think that straight is good and all else is bad. .... there are many out there that hold grimly to old attitudes....embark on whatever it takes to discover yourself.

I agree with this.

 

[Bi Married Male]

I have had and enjoyed the best of both worlds my whole life. The bi side was always in the closet. Nobody has to know. It works for me and I am happily married. I prefer to only explore with other straight or married men when the urge occurs.

 

[palbert]

Drink more. Or, drink less.

That will foretell your choices.

 

[borg69unimatrix]

A blow job is a Blow job... Enjoy it and don't question it.

 

[palbert]

I'm calling sockpuppet. (Same as fraternity prank.)

 

[itsmeagain]

Enjoy it. You are in a great time. You can enjoy both sexes. Some of us weren't (aren't) so lucky..

 

[FishBook]

I can identify. I used to say that I was straight, but just interested in sex with men sometimes. I had this weird way of rationalizing it by telling myself that the pure sexuality of the idea of sex with men turned me on, but I could never be romantically interested in a man, so I was straight.

I was deluding myself. The key thing to realize is that being bi doesn't necessarily mean you have the exact same attraction to men and women. For myself, I find women sexually and romantically alluring, whereas men are more purely sexual, but I'm sure that if I met the right man and if I were single, I could end up dating a guy. I more often look at straight porn than gay porn, but that only tells me about my specific balance of preferences. I'm bi. No shame in it, and in many ways it is an awesome blessing.

However, when I was younger (18-21ish), I felt this overwhelming urge to hook up with guys. I still do have the urge to do that, but because I was single then, I acted on it. However, because I still had a strong desire to identify as straight, I would have horrible guilt about what I had done afterwards. I was lucky enough to grow up in a wonderful, supportive, queer-friendly community, but just something hard-wired into me couldn't handle that I might not be straight.

I remember walking home from this guy's apartment the very first time I bottomed. He was this awesome, kind, sexy, smart older man who had been gentle and sweet as he took my anal virginity. It was incredible. I should have been glowing on my way home, but I was overcome by self-loathing. I remember thinking, "Well, that was the last time I'll do that." It's funny, now that I'm in a monogamous relationship with a girl, the only thing I regret about my hookups with guys isn't the fact that I did it; it's the fact that I was too hung up on my own bullshit to fully enjoy and appreciate it.

So, my advice to you is this: admit it! You're bi! That doesn't mean you're necessarily 50/50 in your attraction, but you're at least somewhat are attracted to men, and that's OK! Don't beat yourself up over getting a blowjob. Instead, as long as you're being safe, pursue all the sex with men you want. It doesn't make you gay. It makes you bi, which is an awesome thing to be!

 

[lexguy25]

However, when I was younger (18-21ish), I felt this overwhelming urge to hook up with guys. I still do have the urge to do that, but because I was single then, I acted on it. However, because I still had a strong desire to identify as straight, I would have horrible guilt about what I had done afterwards. I was lucky enough to grow up in a wonderful, supportive, queer-friendly community, but just something hard-wired into me couldn't handle that I might not be straight.
...

So, my advice to you is this: admit it! You're bi! That doesn't mean you're necessarily 50/50 in your attraction, but you're at least somewhat are attracted to men, and that's OK! Don't beat yourself up over getting a blowjob. Instead, as long as you're being safe, pursue all the sex with men you want. It doesn't make you gay. It makes you bi, which is an awesome thing to be!

What he said. When I was single, even though I was looking for a girl, I'd hook up with guys. Mostly because I was horny and attracted to them and they were available. It took me until my md-20s to work up the nerve, but after the first time or two I wasn't really guilty about out, but I still didn't do it that often. Now that I'm engaged and monogamous, my only regret is that I didn't have more (safe) fun with hot guys when I had the chance.

 

[28josh7]

You are young & hung & full of come. Go for it, however, be safe.

 

[Bi Married Male]

I can identify. I used to say that I was straight, but just interested in sex with men sometimes. I had this weird way of rationalizing it by telling myself that the pure sexuality of the idea of sex with men turned me on, but I could never be romantically interested in a man, so I was straight.

I was deluding myself. The key thing to realize is that being bi doesn't necessarily mean you have the exact same attraction to men and women. For myself, I find women sexually and romantically alluring, whereas men are more purely sexual, but I'm sure that if I met the right man and if I were single, I could end up dating a guy. I more often look at straight porn than gay porn, but that only tells me about my specific balance of preferences. I'm bi. No shame in it, and in many ways it is an awesome blessing.

However, when I was younger (18-21ish), I felt this overwhelming urge to hook up with guys. I still do have the urge to do that, but because I was single then, I acted on it. However, because I still had a strong desire to identify as straight, I would have horrible guilt about what I had done afterwards. I was lucky enough to grow up in a wonderful, supportive, queer-friendly community, but just something hard-wired into me couldn't handle that I might not be straight.

I remember walking home from this guy's apartment the very first time I bottomed. He was this awesome, kind, sexy, smart older man who had been gentle and sweet as he took my anal virginity. It was incredible. I should have been glowing on my way home, but I was overcome by self-loathing. I remember thinking, "Well, that was the last time I'll do that." It's funny, now that I'm in a monogamous relationship with a girl, the only thing I regret about my hookups with guys isn't the fact that I did it; it's the fact that I was too hung up on my own bullshit to fully enjoy and appreciate it.

So, my advice to you is this: admit it! You're bi! That doesn't mean you're necessarily 50/50 in your attraction, but you're at least somewhat are attracted to men, and that's OK! Don't beat yourself up over getting a blowjob. Instead, as long as you're being safe, pursue all the sex with men you want. It doesn't make you gay. It makes you bi, which is an awesome thing to be!

This is so well said! I totally identify with this story.

 

[AlmondMilk]

I am gay. I like guy. I like muscles. I like the scent of a man. I like being vers and experiencing both ends of the penetration.

With that said, I hit up a buddy of mine. It turns out he started dating this girl. I didn't find out until I went to his place that we were going to have a threesome and I wouldn't be able to play with him any more. So I lick her pussy and finger her a bunch. I can't say how turned on I got. It's kind of weird, but I loved feeling all of her muscles tense on my fingers. Now, I would've fucked her, but I didn't have any condoms. Thought the guy had some :| But if you're curious, go for it!

 

[ballcaphair]

Do not beat yourself up over sex, or labels. Please, especially not over a blowjob that you enjoyed. Life is too short to not enjoy a blowjob. Be safe, you allowed to leave the yard. Now go play.