So, I came out to my girlfriend...

[GL]

i have no advice to give but i just wanted to say that i think it will be best for both of you. good luck.

 

[KaraBulut]

Even though it seems rough at the moment, you've given her the chance to make a decision about what kind of relationship that she wants to have with you. It sounds like she has chosen to be your friend and not to continue to be your girlfriend.

When you respect someone and you care about them, you tell them the truth and you let them make their own decision- even if that ends up causing you pain in the end.

You did the right thing and now you are both able to move on with your lives.

 

[bankside]

Some of you might remember a thread that I posted here a few months ago, where I was questionning my sexuality and talking about the issues that I had, being in a relationship with a girl (for 3 years already at the time) and feeling attracted to guys at the same time.

Well after a lot of thinking and soul searching, I finally realized that breaking up with her was unavoidable because those feelings were not gonna go away. And I knew waiting any longer would only make things worse (for myself and for her when I'd leave her eventually).


So I told her, two days ago.
I told her everything and I told her I was sorry that I never said anything before.
Obviously it was a complete shock and she really freaked out but surprisingly she came around pretty quickly...

Just twenty four hours later, we were able to have a calm discussion about it. She told me that as painful as it is for her, she understands why and she forgave me.
She even said that she realizes how hard it must have been for me and that she'll always be there to support me. She wants to stay close friends (even though I won't see her for a while right now).
I'm so impressed: I thought she would hate me for months... She really is someone very special...

This was the hardest thing I ever had to do. And no matter what, I can't help it, I still have feelings for her. It seems like such a terrible waste, I just have to keep reminding myself that this couldn't have worked, that I was already going crazy keeping this to myself and that it wouldn't have been honest to her.

So, I'm pretty miserable right now.
I hope it's for the best.

It makes sense that you still have feelings for her, it's just that you are honest about what those feelings could lead to, and what would be futile. If you are both able to proceed to a friendship, I'm sure it will be important for her to talk to you again about your feelings. She'll probably have more questions about what you were thinking and when. And even though you have the sense that you both still care for each other, sometimes people who care for each other will still go on separate journeys through life. Only time will tell. But, you have spared her from possibly a lifetime of wondering if something was wrong with her most important relationship - subtle doubts...self doubt... Now she knows what is possible and what is not. And both of you now the opportunity to reset.

 

[jojo84]

This takes a lot of courage, good for you!

 

[954dude]

Maturity and respect will work in any ones favour.

 

[youngnihilist]

Good job! very proud of you. many in your situation just keep dating the girl and living a lie. now you can live your life !

 

[rainman256]

Wow, congrats Dean. That took a lot of courage. Good job. That was a hard thing to do.

 

[rareboy]

You did the right and manly thing.

I suspect your gf will be on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster for awhile; she probably will start to resent having wasted 3 years of her life, but she's obviously got to be thinking that better now than 10 years from now.