So, I got drunk and it all came out.

[MarKo17]

So, I have been seeing this guy for a few months and he's rather opinionated with his observations. He's said somethings to me which have had me stunned on a few occasions. He's tried to play them off as jokes etc. So, I decided not to make a big deal about them. He also seems to have a high opinion of himself which makes him come off arrogant, I think he just sees it as confidence.

More to the point.

This past Friday my group of friends invited me to hang with them to drink all day at the beach. I usually don't drink because I don't like who I become, but I went this time since they all seemed they really wanted to see me. So, also going to be there is my ex who I'm still extremely close with. I didn't want the guy I was dating to come simply because my friends didn't want him to be there. He ended up coming with me anyway. I could see that my ex wasn't really happy about it. (Two of them don't really like each other for reasons that do not involve me.) I saw my ex sulking so I tried to show him some attention so we could all have a good time.

Fast Forward: We're all pretty drunk. I'm coming from the bathroom with my ex and I tell him how he was the best thing that ever happened to me etc. etc.(I did this in front of everyone) I hugged him, that was that. Later the guy I was dating at some point had apparently rubbed me the wrong way by making a joke about my penis.(Apparently, he dislikes the shape/size of my penis and it doesn't turn him on. ) So, I went and gave him every opinion I had of him from the moment we met in a very loud, ridiculing, douche bag way. My friends told me it was pretty brutal. I think I even made some stuff up to increase the burn.

The next day I tried to initiate some sexual activity with him in my bedroom, but he completely denied me. He brought up the other night, I tried to talk to him about it. It ended with him basically exclaiming that we weren't together, which surprisingly hurt. In actuality we never made our relationship official.

How should I handle it? A lot of the stuff I said to him were past opinions that had pretty much changed. Do you think he'll get over it? Or do you think he was serious about splitting up?

The anticipation is killing me.

 

[HunterM]

Consoling your ex in front of your boyfriend or someone you are dating is NEVER a good thing. Jealousy ensues.

He was serious about splitting up. From your description, you didn't mention anything about apologizing to him. From the tone of your story, it didn't sound like you were sorry for humiliating him in front of all your friends.

...It ended with him basically exclaiming that we weren't together, which surprisingly hurt. In actuality we never made our relationship official.

It does not matter if the relationship was official or not. You felt hurt because he didn't want you. Obviously, it meant something to you. Otherwise, you couldn't care less. It does not matter who started the insult first. Did you genuinely apologize to him? If you want him back, I would start from there to make it up to him. Be a man, and own up to your mistake first. Otherwise, he will never get over the humiliation you've caused.

If you don't want him back, then there's no need to apologize.

If he still does not want to be with you after your apology, then at least take comfort that you gave it your best to make amend.

 

[MarKo17]

I didn't apologize to him because he's always so unapologetic, but I'm not like him. I'll apologize and see where things go. Thanks for the advice.

 

[HunterM]

Here's something to think about. If "he's always so unapologetic," that means he thinks he's always right. That means you are always wrong. Can you accept that? I can't...because no one is perfect. I don't need the drama. Everyone makes mistakes. As mature adults, we own up to our mistakes in our relationships for the consideration of our loved ones.

If "he's always so unapologetic," you're in a toxic relationship. It's a red flag. Do you really want to be with a narcissist? Maybe this is an opportunity to move on...to find someone else.

 

[medic1]

Here's something to think about. If "he's always so unapologetic," that means he thinks he's always right. That means you are always wrong. Can you accept that? I can't...because no one is perfect. I don't need the drama. Everyone makes mistakes. As mature adults, we own up to our mistakes in our relationships for the consideration of our loved ones.

If "he's always so unapologetic," you're in a toxic relationship. It's a red flag. Do you really want to be with a narcissist? Maybe this is an opportunity to move on...to find someone else.

As usual HunterM has posted a very pragmatic response , if i was you think about what he has said , my own opinion is that you
probably would not have been so public in putting down your ex if you were not pissed , Lots of drink then throw in an ex and
your then partner , i can see both sides .

However it works out i wish you luck .

 

[sixthson]

He sounds like a jerk and you obviously have resentment toward him. You were both rude to each other in front of others.
So, why do you want to be with him?

 

[Seasoned]

Being human means we fuck up. When adults fuck up they apologize. Apologies aren't always accepted, but the persons making them feel better about themselves if the apologies were genuine. Why is it ok that the current guy never has to apologize to you? I also think you should apologize to him, but if you suffer from low self-esteem do work on that as no one ought to be a doormat nor be set up for passive-aggressive behavior. And watch your drinking if you can't predict your actions. Being drunk doesn't give you a pass.

 

[AngolaZee]

There is no love/caring/genuine affection in this relationship it is just doomed. So the question is why are you guys together in the first place. If the sex is the reason then just be fuck buddies