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So I'm a bitch...

S

StudboySeth

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Alright...tonight my friend called me becaus he was drunk at a club and wanted me to pick him up...he ended up hooking up with some nasty guy while I was there for pretty much nothing but to get hurt. Get hurt because my ex was there...we were dating for 2 months, while not long, I feel that I fell in love with him. He hurt me a lot and vice versa during that time. The thing that hurt me most and got me to do the things to him that hurt him was the fact that he's married to a chick for immigration purposes and said he can't have a relationship. So tonight I see him and he tried to make out with my friend (while the friend was trying to get us back together, which I didn't really want.) His friend then goes on to berate me for not saying hi to him, and tells me that the ex has a new man whom he will call his boyfriend (something he said he would never do for me since he couldn't really have a relationship since he was married and worried about getting found out by immigration) then the ex comes out drunk off his ass (I'm sober...trying to get my friend to leave) and tells me he never cared about me etc. So, I'm hurt but try to be nice and talk to him, he keeps going and says some nasty stuff to me, and I say he's lucky I don't call INS on him, jokingly at first. He says he knew I would say that to him since I'm such a bitch and he knew when he first started dating me that I'd send him back (why did I pay for his papers and health test then???) and keeps talking shit about me to me. So, I text my friends (which he informed me I had none of) with his DOB, phone number, and city of residence and say to call INS...they never liked him (mostly for stupid reasons such as he wasn't a doctor or lawyer) and I get a good response that tomorrow they'll call...

So now I'm stuck with a dilemma, do I call them off or let him go back. Boston's really small and I don't want to see him, especially if he'll go WAY out of his way to try to hurt me, but I feel bad kinda for ruining his life. I mean, EVERYTIME I see him he does something like this, and tonight he went WAY too far. It was humiliating, people were asking me why I was taking what he was saying to me, and it's just escalated to this point. I love him, but now see that he never returned it and just used me so that he could get something out of me. I feel stupid and don't want this happening repeatedly and worse than it did tonight. I can have him gone and forget about him soon if I let them go through with it. He really is a horrible person and I knew it for about half of our relationship, however I always defended him to my friends, something it seems he never did for me.

I know you're all going to hate me and say horrible things about what I did, but I've tried reasoning with him in the past when things like this happened, but it has finally come to this, I can't be near him, and continually run into him and he treats me like utter shit. I don't know what else to do to make him leave me alone. I know one person has already tried to call to report him for immigration fraud but the office is closed for the night. I know this is a horrible thing to do, but I want him gone and need him gone since he is horrible to me everytime I see him anywhere.
 
Don't contact INS. As much of a jerk as he clearly was to you, I wouldn't say he did anything that deserved having his entire life ruined for. If you actually do end up ruining his life (or allow your friends to), I guarantee you will end up regretting it down the road.

I know it can be difficult when people are so openly hostile like that... but there are better far ways of dealing with him than something this extreme.
 
Discretion is the better part of valor.
These things have a nasty habit of returning to bite you in the ass.

Keep your mouth shut, lick your wounds, and move on with life.
 
OK, so I called of the dogs...I'm just going to leave him a message that from now on, should he see me out, either to say hi to me, or say nothing to me. I'd prefer nothing. I really overreacted, at least he can say he was drunk (something else that bothers me...he'd get mad if I drank but he was always allowed to.) I guess I need to live and learn. He did some good things for me, but lied to me a lot I'm seeing now that we're not together. He also has a lot of spies out watching me, which I don't appreciate.

Anyway, he's not going back, unless it's because his marriage looks like an obvious sham.
 
lol...id love to be able to say "fuck it I dont want to pay for his health care call the fucking dogs!!". but that would be rude.... A much cooler thing would be to find yourself a nice cute beefy gay immigration officer to date and then take him out -when you meet your ex out and he starts shit just introduce him!!

Oh! and what the fuck is he still spying on you for...i think you need to just go over and piss on his leg the next time you see him. You dont need this fucking loser bitch and he was obviously playing you for something he wanted or doesnt know how to love. etiher way you dont want him and you can do better. oh..and by the way you can turn your cell phone off....
 
Don't have any contact with him. It'll only feed the beast.

Remove his phone number or change the name to 'asshole'. Don't answer those calls.
 
--O2-- said:
I have to agree, as much as I do like a good power play from time to time, this would not be a good idea.

Two wrongs don't make a right.

And you're right, Boston is the smallest big city in the world, so things come round and bite you in the ass very, very fast.

Cut him out of your life and go date a grown up. [STRIKE]Like me.[/STRIKE]
Click to expand...

The funny thing is that he told me that my friend had put the moves on him like 5 times before, which (after sobering up) the friend pointed out is impossible as last night was the second time they've ever met. I've seen his new man and he's ugly too, so that's good. My friend said he wants to call on him so that I'd get the reputation of being the 'queen bitch of the south end' rather than just a plain bitch...I think I'll pass. I think I'll just let it go, he's kind of a loser the more I think about it and I think I'm WAY better off. I'm kinda talking to someone now anyway, a really hot starbucks worker that I used to tell the ex I thought was hot, so I know that his friends saw us out last weekend and it probably made him mad when the spies reported back about that.

So yeah, on a side note, I looked at your myspace profile and don't recognize you really...but I did think one of your friends looked familiar, and it turns out I got his phone number a while back but didn't remember which guy it was so I never called...small world, huh?
 
OK..so the funny thing is that I was seeing this guy that is a lawyer...he never liked pedro the ex, and kept trying to get me to rat him out...he asked me how things were going tonight and well, I told him. Apparently he has ties to the AG office here and now that the ex is done this he's going to submit his case. It's kinda funny, I just said we were broken up and he was being an ass to me and stalking me and that's enough to get him ousted from the country.

he also acted like he didn't recognize my number when I told him I wanted my stuff back tonight, which just shows his immaturity and all. I want him gone and it looks like he already had a case against him with the AG just waiting for him to break up with me. I guess some exes are better than others.
 
Yeh, breakups can be messy. But are you willing to shoulder the blame for potentially ruining someones life - for good?

What you have set out to do is not bitch. It is deplorable, reprehensible.

I mean seriously, grow up and move on.

Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
 
If he's had this case against him and the only thing that has been stoping it was me, who am I to not let it go ahead since he's no longer with me. It should have proceeded even with me really. The only thing that had stopped it before is my happiness, which is unprofessional at best.

Really I just wanted to be on good terms with him, but I'm not going to lie anymore to protect him like I had in the past, it seems this was probaby going to go ahead with or without me helping it along. If I have pictures etc to prove his marriage is a sham who am I to hold them back from an investation if asked for them now? I really owe nothing to him, especially now.

Oh...I forgot to mention his craigslist prostitute das he told me about after he did them, it seems he would give old guys massages and handjobs and finger them for money...it seems that's illegal too according to the lawyer friend, and he can get them from craigslist for the case, if I tell him what I know. I don't konw if I can do that though..but thinking about the past few days I think I might be able to.

Really I just wanted to be friends with him, but it seems that can't be the case since he's done this friend stuff to me and everyone seems to be interested in what happened to us. I'm not going to hide any of his secrets, he called me a whore before because I've slept with a lot of ppl, but I've never doine ANYTHING that relates to money, but I'd say hand jobs for cash makes him a certifiable prostitute. And it seems he is also liable for that.
 
looseliam said:
Yeh, breakups can be messy. But are you willing to shoulder the blame for potentially ruining someones life - for good?

What you have set out to do is not bitch. It is deplorable, reprehensible.

I mean seriously, grow up and move on.

Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Click to expand...
Well put loosliam.

He done hurt me so I'm gonna show him.... I think "grow up" pretty well sums it up.
 
I grew up in t he coutnry...provincial life isn't that bad. Prostitution is illegal, so are sham marriages. If the AG guy already had it out for him, how is me telling him what Iknow so bad? His marriage is an obviuos sham.
 
My motives for doing it aren't that petty...he actually set the ball in play when he started dating me. He had the lawyer looking for a reason the second I showed up with him, now he has one. I really don't want him out of the country, I want him to be friends with me, but he kinda fucked that up. I've ruined a few people's lives before and it hasn't really bothered me, this is really no different. I just kind of find it funny that he told me I have no friends two days ago...and in those two days my friends and really aquaintances are going to mess him up for the rest of his life. It's sad, I know. I can't really help part of it anymore, I said to not do it, but tonight I was told that it was going to happen regardless of wheither I'm with him or not. This has just caused it to happen faster. I'm just happy I didn't try to get anything real with him. Or rather that he stopped me from doing so.
 
OK. So, I drank last night and did stupid things...go figure. I told ppl what the ex was doing, that got him in trouble and everyone thinks more lowly of him now which is fine...but i was being an asshole which isn't. I sent the lawyer a text asking him not to do anything, hopefully he won't. Then I sent the ex a text telling him that I'm sorry for being so mean last night and that I'm deleting his number and to have a good life. I hope that's the end of this whole thing.
 
Umm, again please because I just don't understand: why is it you are still speaking with him, let alone apologising?
 
where he originally from? i guess i need to avoid ppl from wherever he is from.
why don't u call his wife instead of INS?
 
WTF... is this for real???

If so, he's a bastard and you where his bitch. PLEASE don't say it's not the first time you've had a relationship go down like this.

Man, unless you came out really late in life consider some counselling... especially if you truly want to be loved. I'm not being an ass--I'm serious, for your own happiness and sense of self-worth.

If you're just new to all this, LEARN FROM IT.



...his whole dealeo with the INS means nothing. You need to be more concerned with yourself now: who you are; who you want to be; and how you can share your life with another guy in a health, sane way.
 
I came out about half a year ago about to everyone. My friends and I just laugh about his craigslist prostitution ad and that's about all. Some still want to send him back, if they want to go for it, that's fine, but they'll have to do it without me, I just want to move on and forget about him.
 
Seth,

If you're really concerned about how people perceive you, and you yourself are concerned that you're a bitch, then you might not want to take pride in "ruining lives." Trying to one-up someone for hurting you only continues the game, and even if you do not think it's morally wrong to destroy someone in a way that is not proportionate to how they hurt you, it's possible that one day you're going to play with someone who won't be satisfied until your life is ruined permanently. Play the game with the wrong person, and you might not be around to play it anymore.

Be careful. And maybe consider laying off the alcohol if you find yourself being a lot uglier when you're using it than you are when you're not drunk.
 
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