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  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

So...I'm curious about something...

That's my train of thought as well. Once I have my ducks in a row and don't have to depend on anyone I can come out and live my life exactly how I want to.
 
It may have been wise in your situation (and others), if there was a chance that something nasty could've happened. My parents have always been the accepting and loving sort, so I didn't think "Gee, I'd best have a backup plan in case they kick me out." I was worried, sure, but I didn't see "kicking me out" in the cards. So a plan like yours would've been overkill on my part.

As far as coming out now? If they're going to interact with me more than just on the superficial level (the checkout guy at the grocery store, say), then he's probably going to know/find out. It'll usually come up one way or the other. Usually, it involves my partner, who I then introduce as "my partner". That sort of takes care of everything. :)

Lex
 
Im calculating right now and have a 3 month plan...building another social circle too for support. I know its weird but I guess worse case scenario at least ill have some support.
 
ryanbelv said:
Was anybody else that calculated and careful about how and when they came out or am I just a total control freak?
Click to expand...

Your instincts were good because this is the exact advice that we give people in this forum.

While it's important to come out to your parents, it's also important to get an education, have a roof over your head and have food to eat. If there's any question that you parents will throw you out of the house or cut off your allowance, you should wait until you are financially independent before coming out to them.

In your case, it went well but there are many others for whom it did not go as well.
 
you told them.
they cant take it however they want
 
I didn't think very thoroughly about it. I came out to my best friend, then my other good friend, then the whole school. Then finally my parents. My mom was driving and being a woman who drives with her emotions rather than her brain (like most women, in my observation), she almost crashes.

Then we had an argument, because I told her how bad female drivers are, and she was proving it. The whole gay thing got forgotten until we got home.

It was all so weird. I don't usually think before I say something.
 
a lot of people only want to know for gossip

you are right, a lot of people arn't worth the effort

I just let it dawn on a lot of people

and when I do tell someone ( it is not a problem at all nowdays ) i use subtley viz. " I march to the beat of a different drum............... "

and if they want to talk about it, I will if I am in the mood.
 
I've already planned to get my law degree before I come out.

So I might be out in about 3 or 4 years.
 
Sounds totally logical and sensible.

Scary.

Hopefully others will be inspired by your experience.
 
ryanbelv said:
Was anybody else that calculated and careful about how and when they came out or am I just a total control freak?

Also...

Before I come out to someone (which I haven't really done in a LONG time) I always have this little mental exercise I go through... a) Do they really need to know? b) Is this person worth my effort? c) Am I in the mood to deal with a bullshit reaction?

Does anybody else do that or is that just me also?
Click to expand...

Yeah! It's first when I moved to this Boston suburb where I got an apartment (I rely on public transport, though) when I told them. Wasn't what I expected, but, well, I now have my own apartment! (Well, I share it with a Lesbian couple). It's kinda ironic that I rent an apartment in the suburbs of Boston while college IS in Boston itself. But it's better than living in the streets, do you really think Muslim parents are tolerant in any way?

Oh, and I always tell people I'm gay, I sometimes wear this:
gay-7645.jpg

(OF COURSE NOT!)

For shitty people, you have to ask yourself: are they really worth the effort? And if you mean bullying and stuff, I always have this motto: Armed queers don't get bashed (it's a stupid modification of a Pink Pistols motto).
----------------
Now playing: Scissor Sisters - Laura (Simone)
via FoxyTunes
 
I'm with ya on this one! I probably should have come out in college, but was so friggin worried that my college friends would have bolted, and also thought if it didn't go well on the home front, my parents would stop paying for college, wouldn't want me back in the house, etc. I was 100% wrong in my thought process, but I was thinking of the worst possible coming out scenario. I feel that I wasted precious college years in the closet...but alas, I'm out, and happy to be out to all of my family and friends.

Hindsight is 20/20 my friends.
 
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