So sick of the college scene

[Moss]

Im a college junior and I'm getting annoyed with the partying

I dont drink or smoke...maybe 20oz consumed in my lifetime. I just dont see the point of messing up your state of mind.

I go to the parties because I want to hang out and be social with everyone (I have friends...I'm not antisocial) but the only thing people seem to want to do at my age is to just get stupid drunk, play beer pong, flip cup, etc.

I'm getting really annoyed and don't know how to combat this at all. I want to be at the parties but I have no way of keeping conversation or having a good time when the only goal is for everyone to get smashed. I tell people I dont drink and get weird stares all the time

I guess I'm just gonna get competely trashed next weekend and have fun like everyone else

Please someone help me not give into the peer pressure

[/rant]

 

[jft245]

For what it is worth, don't do it. If you don't enjoy being wasted then it is not worth it. You have the right thought, it is only peer pressure if you give in. I was the same as you when I was younger(granted, it was many years ago). I didn't enjoy the taste of beer to begin with, and I was more interested in talking to people then just getting drunk. After going to several parties, I decided it wasn't worth the waste of my time. My friends would all gather at my place and when they were ready to party they would take off and I would stay home. I had a much better time by myself the I would have hanging around a bunch of drunks. When they wanted to do something else, like bowling or playing cards, which didn't end up with someone puking in the car or a fight over something totally stupid, I was more then willing to hang with them.

I've always felt that it is totally stupid to do something just because it is what everyone else around you is doing.

 

[Curious George]

Your plight is not unusual for people your age and people at college. There are a lot of different things going on. My own son met such a problem at his first college along with many other uncontrollable situations, such as a bad roommate and a bad living situation.

First, it is possible that your are shy and the drinking is a way to excuse your shyness. Shyness isn't wrong, but if that's the problem, working on solutions is different.

A better solution is to look at where you are looking for friends and socialization. If you keep your focus on the dorms, or typical commuting organizations, the focus may be on drinking and obliteration. However, most colleges have a lot of different organizations where you can meet people who aren't just looking for weekend drinking bouts.

The theatre department or program usually needs people to work backstage during productions, help build sets, do lights, put sound and music support together....or act if that's more to your liking. It can provide a way to meet people who try to be a bit more individual and possibly can be more accepting of people not following "the norm." You'll find lots of drinkers and pot smokers in the theatre area, too. But the group tends to be more eclectic and can be more welcoming.

The student newspaper often provides a variety of types of people. Many have interests in politics, contemporary music, social concerns, games, etc. Most always need more help than they have, from student reports to proof readers to deliverers.

Many majors at a college have programs that provide ways to explore the major beyond the classroom. The English Dept. might have a literary magazine and poetry readings, where professors and students can share their poetry. Education departments often have outreach programs where the majors go help in the community. Television majors often have a campus tv station and internships out in the community.

Most campuses have an all-college choir that allows everyone, not just music majors, to participate.

I've seen clubs relating to games such as Dungeons and Dragons as well as video games as a focal point.

Some schools have a Student Gay and Lesbian Organization if you are gay.

Most religions have student outreach and activities that they offer to students. The college where I teach has started offering non-alcoholic events most weekends, but I'm not sure that's happening at a lot of places.

If you are really ambitious, you could try starting an organization with an interest you care about that isn't offered on the campus. Your student union organization should have guidelines about how to get funding to start something like this.

Stay connected and friendly to the people you are partying with now if you like. However, channel your frustration into exploring and finding other venues where you might find people that are interested in more than the binge weekends that obsess many schools these days.

Good luck.

 

[thermodynamics]

It's sad. It really is. The only definition of "a good time" for many college students is to get piss drunk on the weekends. For me, having a few drinks on a Friday night with friends is fun, but I don't define "fun" as getting drunk.

I get high on life. Sorry, had to say it.

 

[billybob109]

Maybe you have to let loose to have a better time. No one can force you to get smashed but if you do be carefull it can lead to sex, kissing and a headache.

 

[PlayingwithChance]

Let me offer a different perspective than what's been put out there so far.

I used to think the exact same way as you. But, due to certain circumstances, I decided to just go with it, not due to peer pressure, but rather, because I had decided to try everything in life (except pussy and drugs). I have no regrets!

It can be fun getting hammered, or even just a little tipsy. It may seem "stupid", yes, but you need to learn to get off your "better than everyone else" high horse, and allow yourself to be flawed, and to just let go - after all, these are the college years, and you may not get the chance to just free yourself with a little drunken debauchery. Oft times the whole "I don't drink" reaction goes deeper than some form of self-righteous value, but rather, speaks of deeper insecurities, especially if you're not familiar with partying and/or are uncomfortable with opening up / putting your barriers down.

It's not for everyone - absolutely. But it's definitely worth a try if you're surrounded by friends you trust and have fun with - you never know, you may warm up to it, learn to enjoy it, and have a little fun along the way!

(Let me just add that, when you do try it, you need to be in the proper mindset - just decide, for one night, what the hell, let yourself go, and just focus on having fun, like the world ends tomorrow. Be open minded - you're not pretending, you're exploring. It's an adventure - enjoy the ride!)

 

[CaliBoy601]

(Let me just add that, when you do try it, you need to be in the proper mindset - just decide, for one night, what the hell, let yourself go, and just focus on having fun, like the world ends tomorrow. Be open minded - you're not pretending, you're exploring. It's an adventure - enjoy the ride!)

This could very well be what you need
It may be something you don't LIKE, but until you do it, you won't know. Once you DO do that, and you turn out to not like it, I would follow the suggestions the others have posted.

If you enjoy yourself, then just let loose every once in a while and just get drunk NOTE: Every once in a while, you don't need to be like everyone else and drink every day...

Good luck with everything dude.

 

[hotatlboi]

I used to think the exact same way as you. But, due to certain circumstances, I decided to just go with it, not due to peer pressure, but rather, because I had decided to try everything in life (except pussy and drugs). I have no regrets!

It can be fun getting hammered, or even just a little tipsy. It may seem "stupid", yes, but you need to learn to get off your "better than everyone else" high horse, and allow yourself to be flawed, and to just let go - after all, these are the college years, and you may not get the chance to just free yourself with a little drunken debauchery. Oft times the whole "I don't drink" reaction goes deeper than some form of self-righteous value, but rather, speaks of deeper insecurities, especially if you're not familiar with partying and/or are uncomfortable with opening up / putting your barriers down.

It's not for everyone - absolutely. But it's definitely worth a try if you're surrounded by friends you trust and have fun with - you never know, you may warm up to it, learn to enjoy it, and have a little fun along the way!

(Let me just add that, when you do try it, you need to be in the proper mindset - just decide, for one night, what the hell, let yourself go, and just focus on having fun, like the world ends tomorrow. Be open minded - you're not pretending, you're exploring. It's an adventure - enjoy the ride!)

I have to 100% agree with this. I was not a drinker/partier before college either and I have cut back on that since I graduated, but I did it for a while and have no regrets either. Yes it was the cool thing to do, but it also helped me out immensely in being more comfortable with myself in social situations, and it was fun too.

If you try it a few times and it still isn't for you, then fine. But if that's the case you might want to try finding some other useful social activities than parties. From the times when I was the DD, I can totally agree with you that being at parties with a bunch of drunk people when you are not drinking yourself is no fun at all.

 

[Moss]

It may seem "stupid", yes, but you need to learn to get off your "better than everyone else" high horse,

i defintely dont mean to come off like this, and when i tell people i dont drink i quickly tell people that 'i dont have a problem with it'...i really dont, i just have a problem with everyone making me feel like a loser because im not doing it.

i think i made my post last night cause i was just dissapointed because it seems like im always the one thats driving and i feel like im looking over my buddies all the time (i always DD...they have volunteered to drive me if i ever decide to booze up though)...i could of played flipcup, beer pong etc.

i think maybe next semester (i turn 21 in january) ill go and try to socially drink...obviously not get hammered, but drink enough where i can be socially active and not feel the effects.

Oft times the whole "I don't drink" reaction goes deeper than some form of self-righteous value, but rather, speaks of deeper insecurities, especially if you're not familiar with partying and/or are uncomfortable with opening up / putting your barriers down.

i will say though i can have problems opening up to strangers sometimes.

 

[maxpowr9]

I applaud your sobriety and respect it.

I never thought of bringing this up until I met my current roommate. He went through all of college and didnt do any partying at all. Now he is 25, works like a dog, and is perhaps the most boring person I have ever met. Never goes out or does anything social. I have tried my hardest to get him to go out and do almost anything but nothing.

Although you should be yourself, it is alright to give into peer pressure every now and then. I used to be a bit anti-social but going to parties is a great way to work on your social skills.
Overall, it comes down your comfort level.

 

[hummer7979]

Alcohol does change your mindset a little bit, but you'll be surprised that a lot of the reason that people change is not because they are under the influence of alcohol, but that they believe that everyone else is under the influence of alcohol. There was a prank at Princeton U. a few years ago where a fraternity had a keg party for Freshmen using non-alcoholic beer without telling them, and during the night, lots of them acted as though they were drunk. It's kind of interesting.

I didn't drink until I was 21, and even then, I was hesitant because I had grown up being taught that only losers drank, that it would ruin my mind and that there was some pride in being able to say that I had never consumed alcohol. I came to realize that it was just conditioned behavior from childhood substance-abuse abstinence classes and that drinking is entirely not as extreme as I thought. I would say that it makes you less self-conscious, which taken to an extreme can be a bad thing, but at the same time, being with a bunch of people who all have their barriers lowered can be something of a unifying experience, if that makes any sense..

I would definitely say to try it, if for no other reason than to know what it's like. Also, drink with people who are experienced and you feel comfortable with. Also, start with something light and palatable.

I should add as a disclaimer that I do take alcohol abuse seriously, as well as drinking related accidents from DUI and operating machinery drunk. It's important to use common sense and recognize when you're in an impaired state, whether it be drunk, high, fatigued, experiencing a migraine headache, etc. Always be in control.

 

[Persian89]

You're missing out ^_^

We made a two floor beer-bong with vodka and beer.
Man it was so gross I would probably do it again because of how gross it was.
Amazing.

Then we raided the teachers (students!) party and got attacked with cider.
Damn teachers.....damn them to hell!

Anyway, if I didn't want to drink but yet socialize.
Grab water with ice and lemon.
If anyone asks what drink it is, say it's water don't lie.
But still, it will look like a drink.
Just enjoy yourself, no need to get smashed because everyone else are so shy that they can't enjoy themselves without alcohol.



I get drunk not because I am shy, because I wanna get shitfaced and let the flow take me somewhere.