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So, speaking of straight guys...

  • Thread starter Thread starter peeonme
  • Start date Start date
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peeonme

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It's a running joke (though sad) that many guys can't get any from their wives, I have some tell me that maybe once a month at best. To top this off, most women view jacking off as some type of cheating.
For those of you in long term gay relationships, if I might ask, do you ever turn down your husband or partner. It can never be "that time of the month" but do you hear of headaches or "not in the mood"?
Do gay partners get mad if their man beats his meat?
 
If there is one single piece of advice I would give lovers, here it is and please take this seriously.
You don't say no. Not ever.
Too tired, headache, backache, arseache, there is no excuse. Got work to do, fuck work , this is more important.
A good man is worth more than all the money in the world. Always give him what he wants.
 
peeonme said:
It's a running joke (though sad) that many guys can't get any from their wives, I have some tell me that maybe once a month at best.
Click to expand...

There is the joke about two guys talking about sex.

Guy #1: "We only have sex once a year!"

Guy #2: "But you seem really happy today!"

Guy #1: "Tonight is the night!"

:lol:

peeonme said:
To top this off, most women view jacking off as some type of cheating.
Click to expand...

Perhaps some of these women could be sold on the "well, if I jack off,I won't bother you for sex?" idea?
 
@ It can never be "that time of the month".

Actually, for us, it's worse; it's "that time of the day".

Unless you're both scat queens, butt sex takes a bit of planning starting with minding your diet, and then, quite a bit of cleaning up and out ------- before and after!!!!

There's nothing casual, or spontaneous about it.
 
peeonme said:
It's a running joke (though sad) that many guys can't get any from their wives, I have some tell me that maybe once a month at best. To top this off, most women view jacking off as some type of cheating.
Click to expand...
With my last boyfriend, if I 'caught him' watching porn and wanking, I would use it as foreplay and we would end up having sex.
As for wanking generally, I always viewed it as taking the pressure off me. As he was 30 years younger than me his libido was far higher than mine
 
Kahaih said:
@ It can never be "that time of the month".

Actually, for us, it's worse; it's "that time of the day".

Unless you're both scat queens, butt sex takes a bit of planning starting with minding your diet, and then, quite a bit of cleaning up and out ------- before and after!!!!

There's nothing casual, or spontaneous about it.
Click to expand...
I guess it goes with the territory. I hadn't thought of that aspect, when I was active in that type of sex it was damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead.
 
I just think a lot of women become frigid after having their kids. Many, like their husbands, are no longer attracted sexually. Some, because of husbands' affairs. Others, because they only stayed in the marriage for the kids, or social standing. I also believe bisexualism is more common in women than men, although sexual attraction for many would not be as sexual as it is with gays.

To Darjelos' counsel, I can't agree. That your loved one should make every effort to be supportive, there simply are times when sex is a bad idea. If you're both on the outs for some problem, whether addiction, violence, unemployment, infidelity, housekeeping, or whatever, forcing an act of intimacy and affection would be likely to just make things worse. The old maxim of "never go to sleep angry with one another" comes to mind. Well, not all problems can be parked at bedtime. People need room and some time.

And penetrative sex is a more difficult to pull off than other forms for men, so not feeling well is just as real as it is with women, which is in no way just about menstruation. A headache, backache, nerve pain, nausea, diarrhea, hemorrhoids, and many other things are more than just excuses.

If you love your partner, you'll find another way to be intimate when sex is a pain, literally.

Of course, if it becomes perpetual, you have to decide if you love him enough to be there in sickness or in health.

And if it seems a ruse, then that is a whole different flag.
 
NotHardUp1 said:
I just think a lot of women become frigid after having their kids. Many, like their husbands, are no longer attracted sexually. Some, because of husbands' affairs. Others, because they only stayed in the marriage for the kids, or social standing. I also believe bisexualism is more common in women than men, although sexual attraction for many would not be as sexual as it is with gays.

To Darjelos' counsel, I can't agree. That your loved one should make every effort to be supportive, there simply are times when sex is a bad idea. If you're both on the outs for some problem, whether addiction, violence, unemployment, infidelity, housekeeping, or whatever, forcing an act of intimacy and affection would be likely to just make things worse. The old maxim of "never go to sleep angry with one another" comes to mind. Well, not all problems can be parked at bedtime. People need room and some time.

And penetrative sex is a more difficult to pull off than other forms for men, so not feeling well is just as real as it is with women, which is in no way just about menstruation. A headache, backache, nerve pain, nausea, diarrhea, hemorrhoids, and many other things are more than just excuses.
Click to expand...
Many women today are on some type of antidepressant that kills their sex drive, it's comparable to chemical castration in men. Sex is a good way to heal any relationship, very therapeutic. Being "turned down" day after day will cause resentment and anger, not to mention cheating. Yes there are legitimate times but it shouldn't be 29 nights in 30 days of a month.

I am not sure why so many guys felt safe in opening up to me about their sex lives with their wives. I hear things such as wedding cake kills a womans sex drive, or as soon as the ink dries up on a marriage license so does a woman's sex drive. I had one guy who was in his 50's and impotent tell me that he was glad that those days were over. Pretty sad.
It's of little wonder as to why men today stay single and avoid responsibility.
 
NotHardUp1 said:
To Darjelos' counsel, I can't agree. That your loved one should make every effort to be supportive, there simply are times when sex is a bad idea. If you're both on the outs for some problem, whether addiction, violence, unemployment, infidelity, housekeeping, or whatever, forcing an act of intimacy and affection would be likely to just make things worse. The old maxim of "never go to sleep angry with one another" comes to mind. Well, not all problems can be parked at bedtime. People need room and some time.
Click to expand...
The odd man out in this list is violence, I have never had to deal with that and I don't want to find out what it's like. But addiction, unemployment, infidelity, housekeeping and whatever, these are trifles. The cost of living a life. We may go to sleep exhausted, saddened, desperate and frightened, but never angry. Love means infinite forgiveness.
You are right that sometimes sex is a bad idea, but we do lots of things that are bad. The good times are good enough to make up for all the bad times and then some.
 
NotHardUp1 said:
I also believe bisexualism is more common in women than men
Click to expand...

I wouldn't be surprised. Although it does raise a question: is it more common in women because of some biological factor? Or is a factor of environment/society that would view same sex activity as more acceptable with women then men?

NotHardUp1 said:
To Darjelos' counsel, I can't agree. That your loved one should make every effort to be supportive, there simply are times when sex is a bad idea. If you're both on the outs for some problem, whether addiction, violence, unemployment, infidelity, housekeeping, or whatever, forcing an act of intimacy and affection would be likely to just make things worse. The old maxim of "never go to sleep angry with one another" comes to mind. Well, not all problems can be parked at bedtime. People need room and some time.

And penetrative sex is a more difficult to pull off than other forms for men, so not feeling well is just as real as it is with women, which is in no way just about menstruation. A headache, backache, nerve pain, nausea, diarrhea, hemorrhoids, and many other things are more than just excuses.
Click to expand...
I agree with your disagreement.
 
I don't hear so many middle aged men moaning that the wife isn't putting out. I hear far more middle aged women complaining (having given up moaning) that the husband is a waste of time, cant get it up anymore and even if he can, would rather slump in front of the tv with his beer.
Straight men give up and go to seed so quickly. We do at least try to hang on for as many years as we can.
 
Dargelos said:
Love means infinite forgiveness.
Click to expand...
Although I understand where that statement likely originates, I don't believe it is ever true. It is an ideal we lift up because we've heard it and we want to believe in a love that is absolute. Christianity uses "unconditional love" as do many pet lovers, both of whom are wrong. Not even God loves unconditionally.

The list below contains some extreme reasons why people stop loving, and some mundane. There are those who argue that if you stopped loving, then it was not love in the first place. I find that a bit too convenient, as it makes the situation fit the construct instead of the reverse.

1. You loved your cousin until you learned that he has been killing cats for sport since he was eight. You had no idea, but now you do.

2. The father of your children has been a good provider and a helping partner, but you learn that for the entire marriage, almost, that he had a second wife and kids and lied to you more times than you can count about where he was and what he was doing. Trust is shattered.

3. Your estranged daughter became a meth addict, and in a delirium, drowned your three grandchildren, all under the age of seven, because she was at her wits' end and knew she was going to prison or die and didn't want her ex getting the kids.

4. Your husband gets fat and you've never been able to accept fat people. You keep saying the words that you love him, but you honestly don't. Deep down, you're angry that he doesn't care any more and the outer beauty that was such a big part of your love life is now gone. You feel guilty for not being able to get through the superficial, so you stay angry all the time, and hate it.

5. Your husband fell out of love with you but continued keeping up appearances and you missed the signs after being together for over a decade. He left and cleaned out your joint savings account and fled to a country with no extradition treaty. You don't know if he has a partner with him or is just out there having a mid-life crisis, but blowing through your hard-earned money.

6. Your loved one develops pre-senile dementia at 50. He's otherwise hale and hearty, but it's obvious he's losing his mind quickly, and his paranoia makes him afraid of you, angry, and sometimes violent. You want to stand by him until the end, but the man you loved is simply not there any more, and as he goes into institutional care, you're not sure you can keep up the front of pretending to still love him when he's a shell of who you loved.

All of them happen. Some rarely. But they happen. And the exception proves the rule. Many people SAY they still love because they've been told they should. I'm not sure how real it is when anger and fear outweigh the memory of love.
 
Are you a scriptwriter for a daytime tv soap? Let me know when the show comes out, it sounds great.
Perhaps I am deluded, enjoying living in a Mills and Boon fantasy world. That's alright, it's a good fantasy, one
that has kept us strong for so long that it is too late to change.
 
There was a time when "for better or for worse, richer or poorer and in sickness and in health" were taken seriously and literally by a large number of people that were tying the knot. Also people knew that marriage wasn't 50/50, it was 100/100 %.
Personally, I never bought into the "falling in love" thing, that's just emotions and hormones doing their thing. I believe that there is a chemistry when 2 people meet, then a bonding experience that love comes from.
Folks today are intitled and self-centered, it's all about "me", not a good recipe for a long-term relationship, forget about "until death do us part".
 
One is duty. The other is love.

Many people will sacrifice self for duty, honor, and commitment, but they do not feel love.

And my ponit remains. When we are abused or rejected or deceived, our feeling changes. We don't love unconditionally. We love conditionally.

At one time, especially the wife was expected to endure it, even though love had died. That is no longer the social more we live within.

Should couples try to forgive and make commitments last? Of course. But when they don't, being honest and not living a lie is better than an outward virtue.

As for soap operas, I speak of what I have seen people do, not something from a plot. And when they do it, the love is gone.
 
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