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So this keeps happening to me....

  • Thread starter Thread starter EMT2410
  • Start date Start date
E

EMT2410

Guest
So this keeps on happening to me and i dont know why. I am a gay man that has not come out to anyone but all you wonderful people here. For some reason i always get asked if im gay. The most recent time was actually like an hour ago. Im out hanging out with my friends and this commercial comes on of this shirtless guy and one of my friends gf says omg, this guy is so hot. Then she looks at me and says, dont you think hes hot. I look at her and ask her why and she says well because your gay. Now im a pretty masculine guy and i have no plans to come out like this so i tell her that no i dont find him hot and im not gay. This is not the first time someone has asked me but whats weird is that it has all been women who have asked me. Im not mad about the situation its just so peculiar to me and i just needed to vent a little. Thanks.
 
Repeating what I said in the other thread....

They probably suspect you are gay. "Masculinity" is subjective anyway....and it not indicative one way or the other whether someone is gay or not.....

If you are gay...you probably notice guys..and your friends probably notice that you notice guys...
 
Let me let you in on a secret.

Your friends know you're gay, they joke about how you're obviously gay behind your back and wonder why you're still deluding yourself that they don't know that you're gay.

Grow a fucking spine and come out, already, what are you waiting for? Clearly your one friend in this story is just fine with you being gay. Why aren't you?
 
Soilwork said:
Let me let you in on a secret.

Your friends know you're gay, they joke about how you're obviously gay behind your back and wonder why you're still deluding yourself that they don't know that you're gay.

Grow a fucking spine and come out, already, what are you waiting for? Clearly your one friend in this story is just fine with you being gay. Why aren't you?
Click to expand...

^ Umm...

That's a little *harsh*, J...

Down, boy. Let him come out in his own time.
 
I have to align with my namesake here. Jasun is dead on. The OP is equating gay with weak or even stigmatized apparently, as indicated by his quick citation of masculinity as evidence of his heterosexuality. How dated.

Gay and fem are two different things, although they don't have to be.

Whether you ever come out or not, you have no free pass in perpetuating the trope of gays as weak or lesser due to macho standards.

Live a life of shame and closeted angst, but stop whining about it in a country that has protected your civil rights and only asks of you the courage to stand with your fellow men in being honest. That day has passed.
 
EMT2410 said:
..................... Then she looks at me and says, dont you think hes hot. I look at her and ask her why and she says well because your gay. Now im a pretty masculine guy and i have no plans to come out like this so i tell her that no i dont find him hot and im not gay. ...........................
Click to expand...

Personally I find it a disappointment that you didn't use this perfect occasion to "come out" to your friends.

Many spend months of anxiety finding the right moment and manner to "come out" to their friends and here you had it handed to you on a plate.

There are many reasons for not revealing your homosexuality but even so it is a shame that you didn't take advantage of this moment.
 
People in the closet think they are hiding their sexuality better than they are. I am not saying that you should come out now or anything but people pick up on things and some times it just doesn't have to do with stereotypes. It also has nothing to do with being masculine or not, the sooner you get over that bit the better.
 
and she says well because you're gay
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Maybe she was just horny and provoked you for a reaction to see if you wanted to sleep with her :lol:

I'm joking. It doesn't happen as often to me but one of my friend girl who is very attractive and gets a lot of attention from straight guys, suspects. I don't really care anyway and in situations like this I like to respond with a joke. Then the interpretation is up to them.
 
dpnice said:
Personally I find it a disappointment that you didn't use this perfect occasion to "come out" to your friends.

Many spend months of anxiety finding the right moment and manner to "come out" to their friends and here you had it handed to you on a plate.

There are many reasons for not revealing your homosexuality but even so it is a shame that you didn't take advantage of this moment.
Click to expand...

This, you are going to have to do it sometime (don't delude yourself, you will have to) and this was an easy opportunity to do it. Next time they ask you if you're gay tell them! Just get it done, it really ain't so bad - your friends clearly all know and don't care.
 
It's rude of anyone to try and out you...come out when you are ready and on your terms.

A long long time ago a girl I knew used to provoke me with little jabs like that. The first few times she did it I was kind of stunned and walked away. When she did it again I finally told her to "fuck off", and she never bothered me again.

If I had to do it all over again...I'd have grabbed my crotch and told her something along the lines of "What of it? It's not like you're ever gonna get this!" :cowboy:
 
It seems you have friends who support you. I agree with most everyone here and you should come out.

Who knows, you might just find a fag hag in those bunch of women who keep prodding you about your sexuality. Having an actual fag hag(not one of those girls who thinks gay men are just another accessory) is one of the joys of gaydom, in my opinion. Come out, and you'll never regret it!
 
There were quite a few times I had the opportunity to come out to my friends and I couldn't do it. Two of the guys were out during that time and I still couldn't do it. I had to just force myself to come out to them. Your friends sound like they will support you if you do come out to them. You'll feel better not having to spend your energy trying to act like someone you're not.

Good luck with what ever it is you choose to do :)
 
My best advice (because I had this happen to me too. except it was my grandmother who kept pointing out the guys on her "soaps" to me.)

Don't let anyone "make" you come out until you're ready to come out.

Judging my what your friends say to, they already suspect. But, even if they do. You get to choose when or if you come out. Do things on you own timetable.
 
people probably already know youre gay.. when I came out, everybody said Ya, we all kinda figured it out". I was only fooling myself and looking like an idiot pretending to be straight. Friends can see right through that ya know.
 
Vitamin said:
It seems you have friends who support you. I agree with most everyone here and you should come out.

Who knows, you might just find a fag hag in those bunch of women who keep prodding you about your sexuality. Having an actual fag hag(not one of those girls who thinks gay men are just another accessory) is one of the joys of gaydom, in my opinion. Come out, and you'll never regret it!
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"Having a fag hag won't get you as far in American politics, as having a billionaire will." - frankfrank, 2015.
 
Well, with me, although I thought I had myself covered up in the closet real well I had let something out. A dear Aunt of mine had guessed my sexuality well before I was ready to come out, and was inviting me to bring boyfriends round with me when visiting her.
Then some guys on a train invited me to go home with them and give them a good fucking.
Two examples of the frustrations of being in the closet. I denied everything. It was very silly, and I am glad that I am now out. Just wish I could find those guys. I would fuck them silly!
Please try and find the inner strength to come out. You will be so happy. So relieved. You will not regret being out one bit.
The support is out there. You have us here on JUB.
You have our friendship.
 
EMT, you're in Los Angeles. Everyone in L.A. is gay. Your male friends are all gay. Your father is gay, so is your grandfather and all your uncles.

Care to share why you are not out? I guarantee you that there will be people here who have been in the same boat. Try us.
 
sixthson said:
EMT, you're in Los Angeles. Everyone in L.A. is gay. Your male friends are all gay. Your father is gay, so is your grandfather and all your uncles.

Care to share why you are not out? I guarantee you that there will be people here who have been in the same boat. Try us.
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I have to say that this made me laugh. To answer your question, Im not out, especially to my family because they dont really like gay people. They have gay friends that they hangout with but they do not want to have gay children. Thats the reason why I havent told them.

Oh and my grandfather lives in miami and my uncles live in ohio. Dont know if they are gay now. :D
 
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