Social Anxiety & getting my first job..

[M Jack]

Hello, so this isnt really STD or medical related but i didn't know where else to post it..

So I know that i don't have extreme social anxiety because I'm not a recluse, i have lots of friends and am very comfortable and outgoing with them, but i have a lot of the more minor symptoms which im probably blowing out of proportion..

I'm afraid of something really simple like ordering a pizza, i used to not even be able to do it (i would give up eating dinner if it meant i didnt have to call) until i was like 16. Now i can but i get nervous and clammy and even pace just from talking to some random person. Even talking to my friends i sound nervous and like i "dont like them and want the conversation to end" one told me hehe.. Then after i hang up i think about what i said and how stupid i sounded.

I hate driving because i feel like other drivers are always judging me my face is always hot and i get nervous. I hate going places alone, standing in the grocery store line i feel so uncomfortable, don't even get me started on drive-thru windows, i absolutley can NOT do it (i wont even go in to a place by myself usually) ive only gone through a drive through twice in two years of having my license. I don't talk to my teachers or ask for help unless its one of the few i really like and am closer too.

Now i'm 18 years old, summer has started, and my parents have put the pressure on for getting a job. (I mow lawns and random yardwork but never have had a real job). I already know a few places i really want to work, i really do want to get a job because i need to start putting away money for college and just having spending money would be nice.. plus there are two restaurants my parents know the owners (and i do too) and one even told my mom that she would hire me as a busser (which is what i want to do). So pretty much i have oppertunities gift wrapped for me i just can't because i'm afraid of taking the final step of the process!

All my friends are going places and applying all the time and getting jobs and i've never even attempted it just scares me. . i really have to do this in the next few days.. what should I do? It's probably no big deal and afterwords i'd be like wow i have a job now and i make lots of money! (Oh crap then i have to go to the bank....)

~ M Jack

p.s. how will i ever buy condoms!!!!???!?

 

[CSI_3Stokes]

Industrial Strength Therapy. Or I don't know.

 

[KaraBulut]

Hello, so this isnt really STD or medical related but i didn't know where else to post it..

So I know that i don't have extreme social anxiety because I'm not a recluse, i have lots of friends and am very comfortable and outgoing with them, but i have a lot of the more minor symptoms which im probably blowing out of proportion..

What you are describing is classic social anxiety disorder. The disorder can be mild (fear of speaking in front of people) or extreme (reclusive behavior). You're in the middle somewhere.

It's something that you can work through with therapy and perhaps medication. Age 18 is a good time to address it so that you can get on with your life.

p.s. how will i ever buy condoms!!!!???!?

http://www.condom.com/ They deliver.

 

[DotComGuy]

Ive had anxiety since 1989. I would say get some professional help or join an anxiety group (and remember that everyone will be nervous at the first meeting)


And remember that . . . .
"People dont think about you as much as you think they are thinking about you"

- I admit I need to remember that but my irrational thoughts get the better of me. But maybe it will give you one of those 'a ha' moments.


Condoms
- buy at a sex store (because unless you are buying an 18 inch Dildo they arent going to take a second glance at someone buying condoms)

- buy with other items

- be glad you arent a girl and having to buy tampons and maxi pads ;-)

 

[senorserio]

I had a history of social anxiety also when I was younger. I mean just PAINFULLY shy. It was a real hindrance and I found myself missing out on a lot of life. I made a conscious decision to just get out there and do the things that stressed me. I know that's easier said than done, but my life is completely different now due to the fact that I forced myself to interact and engage with others socially. In fact, I absolutely HAD to force myself in order to pursue the career I was interested in since it requires public speaking on a daily basis. It got easier the more I did it and I no longer have the fear I did before. I still struggle sometimes. I will get oddly nervous sometimes when returning things to a store, etc. but then I just get over it.

P.S. Condoms can be bought online and delivered in the mail. ;-)

 

[M Jack]

Thank you, finally a success story involving no extensive therapy.. I think i will take your advice and just force myself to start doing things. So far i have only left the house a couple times and summer has been 6 days now! Today i am calling the restaurant owner and asking him to meet with me. Its like 10 seconds of talking to someone i already know and like to set me up for this whole next year.

This guy is really nice. He's gay. Both of the owners are good friends with my parents, my dad fixes his refrigeration and things all of the time. From what my friends that have applied there said he usually hires men to women..

Its like a gift wrapped job i just need to get off my ass and make one call then an interview but thats a whole different story..

I MUST DO IT.

-M Jack

 

[M Jack]

i did it. i start friday.

 

[DotComGuy]

i did it. i start friday.

congradulations ;-)

I think i will take your advice and just force myself to start doing things.

I just want to clarify for those who may read this and think someone can will themselves to do it. People have different levels of anxiety and what one person may be able to do may be just too much for someone else to do.

For example, I go outside and do things uptown but there are those who dont leave their home and there shouldnt be this belief that if they just do it, that they can. If they can, they would. This is not something people enjoy living with