Some Straight Men Are Open about LGBT Issues

[MorrisseyX]

I know my question may sound strange there is this guy I will say he is an acquaintance.

He doesn't appear to he homophobic and he seems really open mined about LGBT issues.

Are there straight men out there that are open minded enough to be interested in LGBT issues?

There is this straight guy I met last year through a friend of mine. He knows that my friend and I are both gay. He also has another gay friend that we hang out with.

I only met this guy three times through a close friend of mine. Anyway, this guy has a girlfriend but she's currently out of the country for a whole year she is teaching in Asia. He says he talks to his girlfriend through a program called skype or something like that.

Well, I am not questioning whether or not he is straight because he definitely is he has a girlfriend. I met the girlfriend last month and she is a nice girl.

I guess I am questioning my assumptions about straight men and I admit I was wrong. One of my assumptions is that straight men don't really care about LGBT issues but this guy does. He has a degree in Social Work.

I saw this guy last week and we talked for over an hour in the car. He offered to drive me home. I said "wow you seem really open minded about LGBT issues usually some straight men get nervous or think gay men are going to hit on them or something."

We just watched a movie about the discrimination gay men encounter in North America at the local university and we were talking about the movie.

Anyway, the guy goes "yeah I guess I am really open minded." I said "that's good that you can be around gay men and not feel uncomfortable."

Next he made a statement that he believes sexuality is "fluid". Now this guy has a girlfriend for over a year. In addition, on Facebook he had a link to his Facebook page about an article dealing with a transgender person in India. I guess I am prejudiced in my assumptions that a straight man would not be "interested" in LGBT issues and I need to work on that. I think this is the first straight male I have ever met that has a real interest in LGBT issues.

 

[Nyk13]

you would be surprised by how many of them are hiding in the wood works.

 

[G-Lexington]

You'd be surprised. Not all of them are dragged into it kicking and screaming. I do work on literacy and GED preparedness, even though nobody I personally know has ever had issues with these...

Lex

 

[ZacBoy]

Why wouldn't straight men be open about "LGBT issues"?

Not all straight guys are bigoted and homophobic. I know plenty of straight guys who aren't ignorant, and who realise that people are just people. A lot of people are starting to realise that homosexuality is not this crazy far-left concept that they'll never encounter, rather that it's just a normal part of the world we live in.

 

[MMMonsterBoy]

My best guy friend is cool with homosexulity and he is straight. He doesn't get why parents would kick their child out if they were gay. He's friends with this gay guy that likes him. For some reason I am still nervous to come out to him. Anyway, tons of straight guys aren't anti gay.

 

[topherlover555]

i have a friend who is accepting of me
Everyone thought he was a closet case for the longest time and after he got a girlfriend he suddenly seemed straight.
I prefer not to ponder. Its nice to think maybe hes straight and cares about me enough as a friend to support who i am

 

[LoveIsNow]

A lot of my straight guy friends follow these issues. They'll tease me whenever a new country legalizes gay marriage, about how I'm going to have to move there.

 

[KaraBulut]

There are a lot of straight men and women who are informed about liberal issues and about men's issues that are also supportive of GLBT issues. They are even more so if they have friends or family who are gay.

We just need more of them.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>We just need more of them.

In addition, we need to:

1. stop trying to prove that they're using their LGBT support to "justify staying in the closet" - not every guy who fights on our side likes dick.
2. never neglect to thank them for their support.

Lex

 

[megustamyn]

I am a gay community activist and have been for many years. The only way the LGBT community is going to achieve equality is with the support of straight people. Quite simply, they are the majority. Many high schools and colleges have gay/straight alliances and their faculty counselors are often straight people.

I belong to a statewide gay rights organization that has a straight man as the chairman. This guy has been my friend for many years. I know him personally and professionally. I know his family and friends. There is no doubt in my mind that he is straight. He is also committed to justice and is a strong advocate for many social justice issues. We elected him as chair of our group because he is known and respected among straight people statewide including legislators.

We, as LGBT people, have to learn to accept and respect our straight friends and allies and stop assuming that if they support us they must be gay. I would do anything for my mother, my daughters, grandchildren and other straight relatives and friends. That does not make me straight or bi-curious. I am sure of who and what I am and the same is true of my straight supporters.

 

[youngnihilist]

I know far more straight guys who are pro gay than anti gay. At least college aged guys. They won't be marching protesting prop 8, but they're fine with gays

 

[slnattak]

Straight men have almost always been cool about being gay. It's usually gay guys that have to learn how to be cool to themselves and other gay guys about being gay.

It doesn't really personally effect them, so they are usually okay with it than not. How can you struggle or be against something, that you don't personally deal with? So I don't think we should be all super thankful if a straight dude is cool with us. It's much more liberating if a gay man can accept other gays and his own homosexuality, because that's usually where the real work comes in.

If a guy acts over defensive or paranoid when homosexuality or homoeroticsm comes up, then he's obviously not comfortable with himself.

A lot of people are starting to realise that homosexuality is not this crazy far-left concept that they'll never encounter, rather that it's just a normal part of the world we live in.

Right! But I'm a far-left person (I'm HELLA liberal) and I prefer to hang out with other liberal gay men personally. No offense.

 

[slnattak]

We, as LGBT people, have to learn to accept and respect our straight friends and allies and stop assuming that if they support us they must be gay.

I don't see any LGBT people doing that but you. Honestly, too many gay men simply nag and play granny to other gay men (It's so tempting and easy to do so) instead of emotionally supporting them. That's the real issue. And look, I'm doing the same thing by nagging you to stop nagging at us.

But really. Quit nagging.

Straight people shouldn't be glorified or have their asses kissed just because they support gay rights. Homosexuality doesn't concern straight people, because they're straight. Gay men have to support other gay men better themselves or how can these gay boys get over their auto-homophobia otherwise? Politically-speaking straight people have been more powerful and they have boosted my self-esteem. Meanwhile, other gay men have went crazy on me, because they sensed a more romantic and sexual attraction with me that straight people didn't, because they obviously don't sexualize me as much as a gay man would. So I guess, it makes sense that they can better politicize homosexuality and be for 'gay rights' than gay men themselves. Being gay if you're gay is a personal struggle for gay men. Let people that aren't personally effected by homosexuality lead the battle, I guess.

 

[bankside]

Yes, straight men can be cool about gay issues, but in this case the guy is not straight. When he says "my sexuality is fluid" it means his sexuality is not straight, it is fluid.

It's not right to label a guy as being straight when he has specifically outed himself as being fluid.

 

[ZacBoy]

Right! But I'm a far-left person (I'm HELLA liberal) and I prefer to hang out with other liberal gay men personally. No offense.

Haha none taken. What I meant was that homosexuals are real people, not just a liberal concept, and that a lot of straight guys understand that and have no problem with it.

 

[slnattak]

Yes, straight men can be cool about gay issues, but in this case the guy is not straight. When he says "my sexuality is fluid" it means his sexuality is not straight, it is fluid.

I think all *sexuality* is that way. Hell I know mine is. However, the gay rights movement wasn't about homoeroticsm so much as it was about the ability to romantically love other people better, and get more social support/fairness for our relationships. It had everything to do with dignity and really nothing to do with where we liked to put our dicks in. But that's also what causes a lot of the struggle.

It's more about identity than attractions. Or something. It's about who you want to date and buy things with, and be romantic- more than it is just who you want to screw. Isn't it?

So even if that man's sexuality is fluid, he's still probably straight. Do you see what I'm saying here? Identity and self-concept =/= raw sexuality.

On one hand, I do want the more politically correct gay world where I'm respected for being gay. It feels good. On the other, I like to be slapped around like the whore I am a lot. Hmm. I don't think gay men or gay people want to feel pressured to be one or the other but that's precisely what happens when you politicize sexuality. Sexuality should be a private thing you sort out to yourself. It's highly subjective.

 

[TX-Beau]

Sexuality is only private for people in the closet. Look around yourself, sexuality is so public it’s almost ubiquitous – from your Mama pressuring you to have kids to the shows on the TV. It’s only gay people in hiding and the ‘phobes who don’t want our sexuality to be the same public thing that heterosexuality is.

 

[bankside]

I'm not sure "identity and self concept" are important at all.

I think of the terms as purely descriptive of behaviour. If a person enjoys, or would enjoy experiencing a certain kind of sexual behaviour, I don't care how they "self-identify." It is just a matter of selecting the correct adjective for the behaviour enjoyed. Homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual. It's all pretty straightforward.

When this guy says he is sexually fluid, I understand he means that he does not enjoy one gender to the exclusion of others. In the absence of any contrary information about his experiences or desires, he's not straight.

It actually has only to do with where the dick wants to go.
Any other kind of social consequences, or self-deception mechanisms, or "constructed identities" that people use to manage the social consequences are trivial.