I'm not sure if this is the right forum or even the right website to talk about this, but a few months ago I was raped, and the rapist has continued to harass me. He also insinuated he's given me HIV. I need advice about to proceed, or at least know of anyone else on here that might have been in the same position. (I should state that I'm in my late twenties and live in NY State)
A few months ago I met a guy online, and after extensive conversations with him I decided he seemed nice enough to meet for a date. We had coffee together then went for drink at bar. It was there he told me that he was recently divorced and had kids, and that he was getting married to another woman in a couple months because he had got her pregnant. I told him this was all to much for me to handle so I wasn't interested in having sex with him or a relationship. He told me he was fine with that and just wanted a friend to hang out with since he was new to the area. He bought me a second drink and within about 15 minutes I felt completely drunk and blacked out.
I woke up the next morning in my bed, my clothes off, the bed still made. There was something slimy around my anus and I "felt" like someone had had sex with me. I called this guy to find out what happened and he insisted that I got drunk, passed out, he drove me home in my car, and he just left me at the door. After pressing him for more details, he changed his story and said he did go in my house with me and that I forced myself on him and was asking him to have sex with me.
None of this made any sense to me since I am not prone to this type of behavior. I told him that I was going back to that same bar and was going to ask the staff what they had seen, if anything. Then the guy hung abruptly. Later that day he sent me a text message which said: "I DID fuck you, bro. Btw I'm POZ."
I immediately drove to the ER to receive PEP medication. The medication and my ER visit cost me about $800, since my insurance wouldn't cover it. The worst part was that when the police arrived to take down my case, they told me there wasn't anything they could do and that they would never be able to prove it's rape, and good luck. The doctor at the ER told me this how the cops act all the time.
Despite this, I contacted the guy again and told him I was reporting him for rape. This is when he told me he had been lying the whole time: he did in fact rape me, but he was NOT positive for HIV. He just wanted to scare me. He agreed to get tested to prove it to me, and brought me his results from the clinic. (I agreed to meet him at the clinic with two of my friends with me)
I tried again to talk to the police at my local precinct but they said there was no way to prove it was rape and they wouldn't do anything about it. I continued with the PEP medication just in case. I tested negative at the end of 30 days treatment, but the nurse said I should still get re-tested in a month.
During the next month this guy continually contacted me through phone calls and emails. Whenever I blocked him he would just use a different number or email address. All his emails were about how attracted to me he was and how he was in love with me and that he was getting married soon and this was his last chance to be with a man. Again, I reported this to the police and they said there was nothing they could do.
A few weeks ago, I think it was right around this guy's wedding, he was still continuing with his "love" texts and calls to me and I kept ignoring them. Finally he called me and left a message saying he was tested for STD's and everything was negative, but there was a REACTIVE test for HIV 1/2. He said his test results were HIV 1= Negative...HIV2 = Negative...HIV 1/2 Reactive. He then asked me what those test results meant.
I called him and told him I'm not a doctor, so he should listen to whatever the doctor at the clinic told him. He said the doctors at the clinic didn't tell him anything, they just handed him the paper and let him walk out. This sounded fishy to me, since in my experience the doctors at a clinic will always explain your test results to you, especially if there's any discrepancy. It's also strange since this guy works as a hospital administrator--and his parents are doctors at the United Nations--and he must have SOME resources about where to get info about his HIV test results.
I asked him what the next step was: did the doctors say they would test him again, or did they refer him to a counselor to get on HIV medication? Again, he said they didn't tell him anything, they just handed him the results and let him leave. He then demanded to know what MY status was and if I had given HIM anything.
I freaked out again and went to clinic. I had a rapid test which said I was negative, and the nurse there said this guy's story sounded strange. However she said mixed HIV test results are not uncommon and in most cases mean the person is negative. But she also added that I need to get re-tested AGAIN to really rule out an HIV infection.
I'm so anxious right now. I never went back for the follow-up tests. I just can't put myself through this anymore. My current boyfriend has continually tested negative, so that gives me SOME comfort. But this situation has given me so much anxiety. My questions are this:
1) How can I convince the NY Police Department to take action against this guy. I at least want a restraining order.
2) Does his story of a clinic telling him he is Reactive for one his tests, then not telling him anything else and sending him home sound normal?
3) If he is telling the truth, what do these mixed test results mean?
I'm sorry my post is so long and complicated. If you took the time to read it, thank you very much...
A few months ago I met a guy online, and after extensive conversations with him I decided he seemed nice enough to meet for a date. We had coffee together then went for drink at bar. It was there he told me that he was recently divorced and had kids, and that he was getting married to another woman in a couple months because he had got her pregnant. I told him this was all to much for me to handle so I wasn't interested in having sex with him or a relationship. He told me he was fine with that and just wanted a friend to hang out with since he was new to the area. He bought me a second drink and within about 15 minutes I felt completely drunk and blacked out.
I woke up the next morning in my bed, my clothes off, the bed still made. There was something slimy around my anus and I "felt" like someone had had sex with me. I called this guy to find out what happened and he insisted that I got drunk, passed out, he drove me home in my car, and he just left me at the door. After pressing him for more details, he changed his story and said he did go in my house with me and that I forced myself on him and was asking him to have sex with me.
None of this made any sense to me since I am not prone to this type of behavior. I told him that I was going back to that same bar and was going to ask the staff what they had seen, if anything. Then the guy hung abruptly. Later that day he sent me a text message which said: "I DID fuck you, bro. Btw I'm POZ."
I immediately drove to the ER to receive PEP medication. The medication and my ER visit cost me about $800, since my insurance wouldn't cover it. The worst part was that when the police arrived to take down my case, they told me there wasn't anything they could do and that they would never be able to prove it's rape, and good luck. The doctor at the ER told me this how the cops act all the time.
Despite this, I contacted the guy again and told him I was reporting him for rape. This is when he told me he had been lying the whole time: he did in fact rape me, but he was NOT positive for HIV. He just wanted to scare me. He agreed to get tested to prove it to me, and brought me his results from the clinic. (I agreed to meet him at the clinic with two of my friends with me)
I tried again to talk to the police at my local precinct but they said there was no way to prove it was rape and they wouldn't do anything about it. I continued with the PEP medication just in case. I tested negative at the end of 30 days treatment, but the nurse said I should still get re-tested in a month.
During the next month this guy continually contacted me through phone calls and emails. Whenever I blocked him he would just use a different number or email address. All his emails were about how attracted to me he was and how he was in love with me and that he was getting married soon and this was his last chance to be with a man. Again, I reported this to the police and they said there was nothing they could do.
A few weeks ago, I think it was right around this guy's wedding, he was still continuing with his "love" texts and calls to me and I kept ignoring them. Finally he called me and left a message saying he was tested for STD's and everything was negative, but there was a REACTIVE test for HIV 1/2. He said his test results were HIV 1= Negative...HIV2 = Negative...HIV 1/2 Reactive. He then asked me what those test results meant.
I called him and told him I'm not a doctor, so he should listen to whatever the doctor at the clinic told him. He said the doctors at the clinic didn't tell him anything, they just handed him the paper and let him walk out. This sounded fishy to me, since in my experience the doctors at a clinic will always explain your test results to you, especially if there's any discrepancy. It's also strange since this guy works as a hospital administrator--and his parents are doctors at the United Nations--and he must have SOME resources about where to get info about his HIV test results.
I asked him what the next step was: did the doctors say they would test him again, or did they refer him to a counselor to get on HIV medication? Again, he said they didn't tell him anything, they just handed him the results and let him leave. He then demanded to know what MY status was and if I had given HIM anything.
I freaked out again and went to clinic. I had a rapid test which said I was negative, and the nurse there said this guy's story sounded strange. However she said mixed HIV test results are not uncommon and in most cases mean the person is negative. But she also added that I need to get re-tested AGAIN to really rule out an HIV infection.
I'm so anxious right now. I never went back for the follow-up tests. I just can't put myself through this anymore. My current boyfriend has continually tested negative, so that gives me SOME comfort. But this situation has given me so much anxiety. My questions are this:
1) How can I convince the NY Police Department to take action against this guy. I at least want a restraining order.
2) Does his story of a clinic telling him he is Reactive for one his tests, then not telling him anything else and sending him home sound normal?
3) If he is telling the truth, what do these mixed test results mean?
I'm sorry my post is so long and complicated. If you took the time to read it, thank you very much...
That guy is a monster and I wish you the best in your attempts at prosecuting this bastard!