Sooooo Depressed and Unhappy

[AllAlone]

Hi guys just wondering if anyone had any advice on my current situation? Well I'm 19, unemployed, have NO friends, NO love life, A difficult family life (which I don't really wanna go into and yes I still live with my parents which I hate! ) and basically I'm very unhappy, depressed and fed up! . But I am trying to change things around In regards to work I'm trying to find a new job, but it is difficult lots of let downs and I feel like I'm unemployable!!! . Though I'm sticking at it hopefully to get something someday and move out of my parents house! . As to the friends and love life stituation it's non existant! I'm quite shy and find it hard to make friends I feel like sometimes like people who do meet me won't wanna be friends with me and find me boring and uninteresting! . Making me feel insecure, insignificant, self-conscious which leaves me with low confidence and self-esteem! . There are times where I feel really low and think why do I even exist I have NO purpose, but I try to pick myself up again and stop myself hitting rock bottom. As I said I'm trying to change things and make this year a lot better than the last couple of years, but it is difficult! Anyway thanks for taking the time to read this I know it's a little morbid and depressing for my first proper post (as I'm new today), but if you guys have any advice that would be great Thanx?

 

[Newbie_69]

You're 19. Still young. I'm 20. You tell me how I should I be depressed.
Its fine. Life is never what happens outside of us. Its always about what's going on inside the 6 inches between your ears.

 

[dr_beat]

Hi guys just wondering if anyone had any advice on my current situation? Well I'm 19, unemployed, have NO friends, NO love life, A difficult family life (which I don't really wanna go into and yes I still live with my parents which I hate! ) and basically I'm very unhappy, depressed and fed up! . But I am trying to change things around In regards to work I'm trying to find a new job, but it is difficult lots of let downs and I feel like I'm unemployable!!! . Though I'm sticking at it hopefully to get something someday and move out of my parents house! . As to the friends and love life stituation it's non existant! I'm quite shy and find it hard to make friends I feel like sometimes like people who do meet me won't wanna be friends with me and find me boring and uninteresting! . Making me feel insecure, insignificant, self-conscious which leaves me with low confidence and self-esteem! . There are times where I feel really low and think why do I even exist I have NO purpose, but I try to pick myself up again and stop myself hitting rock bottom. As I said I'm trying to change things and make this year a lot better than the last couple of years, but it is difficult! Anyway thanks for taking the time to read this I know it's a little morbid and depressing for my first proper post (as I'm new today), but if you guys have any advice that would be great Thanx?

Ah, yes. Who hasn't been there? Who still isn't there?

Many people believe that a negative attitude about yourself projects outward. People pick up on it and then avoid you. That's one thing.

If you don't believe in auras, here's a more practical suggestion. You must have hobbies and/or areas of interest. If they're activities that involve others, you might try joining a club where you can meet people with similar interests. (Joining an amateur theatre group or taking drama classes is a great way to get over shyness.)

Finally, I hate to sound like this, but I just finished reading this book called The Art of Possibility by Ben and Rose Zander. The main thrust of the book is that you should stop basing your life's problems on assumptions. Open yourself up to the possibility that anything can happen. Don't box yourself in. Use the entire playing field.

I hope that helps.

Cheers.

 

[AllAlone]

Ah, yes. Who hasn't been there? Who still isn't there?

Many people believe that a negative attitude about yourself projects outward. People pick up on it and then avoid you. That's one thing.

If you don't believe in auras, here's a more practical suggestion. You must have hobbies and/or areas of interest. If they're activities that involve others, you might try joining a club where you can meet people with similar interests. (Joining an amateur theatre group or taking drama classes is a great way to get over shyness.)

Finally, I hate to sound like this, but I just finished reading this book called The Art of Possibility by Ben and Rose Zander. The main thrust of the book is that you should stop basing your life's problems on assumptions. Open yourself up to the possibility that anything can happen. Don't box yourself in. Use the entire playing field.

I hope that helps.

Cheers.

Thanks for the advice I do try to remain positive, but as you probably know it's not always easy! . As for joining a club or something I have thought about it, problem is just getting the confidence to go .

Oh honey.....I know what you feel like. Been there done that, well still kinda there. I think that joining JUB will make a big difference, I know it may sound silly that a website like this helps you out in real life, but it does. It will make you feel that you are not alone. There are plenty of guys out there that are in the same place AND that there are ALOT of really cool guys here that will help you out. There is always someone here willing to listen. Something that can't always be said in real life. If ya ever want to talk....just speak up!

Thanks you've been really kind I've only been here for a few hours but I think it's great! Didn't expect anyone to reply so quickly lol! Nice to meet you anyway I'm hoping to make new friends and become better at using the forum, still new to all this .

 

[Alive and Free]

Try going to University , its one of the best places to build up a peer group of friends.

 

[lonnie1]

I'm assuming you graduated high school. If not, be sure to do so.

Now here's some practical advice:

Take half a day, clear your head and list all the things that you would like to be and the things you like to do. Select the one that interests you most.

Now, since you're only 19, you can put a plan together to be what you want. If you want to be in show business, take classes where you may make contacts to gain employment. If you want to be something that requires more education, make plans to get it. From here on out, you'll be spending at least half your waking life working--pick something you like and it won't seem like work. That will provide you with the money you need to do other things you may enjoy.

The key thing is to think "how", not "why not".

 

[AllAlone]

I'm assuming you graduated high school. If not, be sure to do so.

Now here's some practical advice:

Take half a day, clear your head and list all the things that you would like to be and the things you like to do. Select the one that interests you most.

Now, since you're only 19, you can put a plan together to be what you want. If you want to be in show business, take classes where you may make contacts to gain employment. If you want to be something that requires more education, make plans to get it. From here on out, you'll be spending at least half your waking life working--pick something you like and it won't seem like work. That will provide you with the money you need to do other things you may enjoy.

The key thing is to think "how", not "why not".

Great advice I'll take it on board Thanks lonnie1!

 

[Pringle]

The key thing is to think "how", not "why not".

And that is the key right there ^ (well said btw)

To be honest I think you have already come quite far by saying you are trying to change things. You understand the world doesn't always come to you - sometimes you have to go to the world.

I think your best bet is to work on the friends thing. If people don't find you interesting then they ain't the friends for you. Find people/groups who share an interest with you. Some might hide it better but everyone feels insecure at some point - so why not be the first one to spark the conversation/interaction with someone. You'll be surprised how far this can often get you.

Happy thoughts fella

 

[AllAlone]

And that is the key right there ^ (well said btw)

To be honest I think you have already come quite far by saying you are trying to change things. You understand the world doesn't always come to you - sometimes you have to go to the world.

I think your best bet is to work on the friends thing. If people don't find you interesting then they ain't the friends for you. Find people/groups who share an interest with you. Some might hide it better but everyone feels insecure at some point - so why not be the first one to spark the conversation/interaction with someone. You'll be surprised how far this can often get you.

Happy thoughts fella

Yeah I'm trying hard to change things and hopefully I'll get there someday.... Thanks for your advice Pringle!

 

[Darkl1ght3r]

I'm in the same situation right now. 20 years old, only one friend knows I'm gay, but when I see some people on campus holding hands or giving each other kisses, I feel jealous that I don't have anyone to reciprocate my feelings. I don't have friends, just associates you might say, they're execs in school club I'm currently presiding and we organize charity fundraisers for organizations providing support for people with speech disorders (I have stuttering so it's something that's really important to raise awareness considering the discrimination people with speech disorders sometimes experience). On a job fair, I applied and the recruiter thought I was having an anxiety attack because I stuttered a bit, but it's not as severe now as it used to. I'm seeing a speech therapist. It's a field I am working my way towards finishing too. I only have 2 best friends, one is a girl who's already engaged and we rarely see each other but still talk. Then again, she's going off to live a nice life with her boyfriend and I'm just scared I'll die alone. There's a GLBT centre on campus but I'm having trouble really opening up to anyone unless I'm ready. My family or my other friends don't know that I have feelings for men. We do go out but everyone brings their bf/gf along and I don't have no one. At the end of the day, I would like to have someone. I feel guilty and selfish for wanting more, but I'm only human. I'm not really into the gay clubs. Does anyone else know what to do?

 

[Ice Burn]

iv just read ur post ur situation sound a bit like mine. im trying to find a job cuz iv got my mom on my case all the time pressuring me to find one and get let down a lot until i reached a point where i even though it was hopeless to even try looking for one. iv recently accepted who i am and none of my friends or family know my friends stoped calling because they think im boring and i dont have anyone i can talk to about being gay. the only thing i can say to you is try no to let it get to and try and find someone who u talk talk with on a level.

 

[moonrabbit]

This sounds exactly like something I would've written.

Hi guys just wondering if anyone had any advice on my current situation? Well I'm 19, unemployed, have NO friends, NO love life, A difficult family life (which I don't really wanna go into and yes I still live with my parents which I hate! ) and basically I'm very unhappy, depressed and fed up! . But I am trying to change things around In regards to work I'm trying to find a new job, but it is difficult lots of let downs and I feel like I'm unemployable!!! . Though I'm sticking at it hopefully to get something someday and move out of my parents house! . As to the friends and love life stituation it's non existant! I'm quite shy and find it hard to make friends I feel like sometimes like people who do meet me won't wanna be friends with me and find me boring and uninteresting! . Making me feel insecure, insignificant, self-conscious which leaves me with low confidence and self-esteem! . There are times where I feel really low and think why do I even exist I have NO purpose, but I try to pick myself up again and stop myself hitting rock bottom. As I said I'm trying to change things and make this year a lot better than the last couple of years, but it is difficult! Anyway thanks for taking the time to read this I know it's a little morbid and depressing for my first proper post (as I'm new today), but if you guys have any advice that would be great Thanx?

 

[interesting]

Maybe you could go to a job fair, I'm thinking that you're in college so that could open up tons of possibilities. They always offer jobs for college students, I would have taken up one of them, but I already have a job. As for the living situation, don't be so hasty with the decision, take some times to think about it. If you're not ready, don't move out, stay until you are stable financially. With the friends thing, you already have all of us to talk to, we're all your friends here. I don't have any friends in the real world either, but I do talk to a lot of people in my classes and at work. I just don't have any real close friends. Cheer up, life will get better.

 

[AllAlone]

Maybe you could go to a job fair, I'm thinking that you're in college so that could open up tons of possibilities. They always offer jobs for college students, I would have taken up one of them, but I already have a job. As for the living situation, don't be so hasty with the decision, take some times to think about it. If you're not ready, don't move out, stay until you are stable financially. With the friends thing, you already have all of us to talk to, we're all your friends here. I don't have any friends in the real world either, but I do talk to a lot of people in my classes and at work. I just don't have any real close friends. Cheer up, life will get better.

I'm not in college but thanks for the advice! As for moving out I'm more than ready for that (difficult family situation! ) trust me! I'm just trying to get a job so I'm financially stable and are able too!

 

[interesting]

Before you move out though, I would suggest get the job first, I'd say deal with the family situation the best you can, but still keep your head up.

 

[AllAlone]

Before you move out though, I would suggest get the job first, I'd say deal with the family situation the best you can, but still keep your head up.

Yeah thats what I'm trying to do now and hope anything works out.