Spare the rod, spoil the child?

[dkonfrost]

my brothers and i were never spanked when we were kids.

my parents opted for the guilt/mental approach:

my mom's technique: we were reprimanded in public, or we would be constantly reminded about the latest screwup we caused/participated in.

my dad's technique: a loud 2 hour tirade (mixed in with how he knew everything and anything about life), by the end of the first hour, i wanted to drive a knife through my skull to end it.

despite the lack of physical punishment, i think we still turned out ok.

 

[trawler69]

I think corporal punnishment has a place but it should only be used as a last resort, and it very much depends on the nature of the misdemeanor, previous warnings and explanations given etc. I was sent to a Catholic boarding school where the Head Monster was a terrifying figure who ruled by the cane. You could even get the cane for talking after lights out and he would walk around in his slippers listening at the doors for infringers. We were pretty well behaved, but out of pure fear. That I believe is wrong and is an extreem, but children do need to have boundaries and know that if they step outside them there will be unpleasant consequences, all things should be tried before spanking but if it is the only way to communicate societies dissaproval for their actions then the parents owe it to them if it might change their behaviour before it is too late and the authorities step in.

 

[bma1983]

Yeah, I was expecting that. I knew a low blow like that was coming...

Although I figured it would be AFTER you attacked me for working in the adult industry.

Considering you don't know the circumstances behind my brothers incarceration, it's probably best you left him out of it.

I don't need to know the circumstances, nor do I care. You see, the same way you can erroneously conclude that my parents were bad parents and didn't love me because they disciplined me with the occasional spanking, I can rightly conclude that your parents were even worse seeing as that your brother ended up at Sing Sing.

When you insult other peoples families, don’t expect them not to insult yours.

 

[arieliam]

Having been on the recieving end of physical and emotional abuse, called discipline, I vowed never to abuse my children, and of the four I never did. They are all happy and well adjusted adults with children of their own. When I see my children love my grandchildren and teach respect by being self respecting I am glad for my choices. When I recently told my son how proud I was of his fathering skills and connection with his sons he answered 'I have big shoes to fill'. We no longer have polio as an active part of our culture, not because someone said it was normal and ok, but because someone said it had to be changed. It is that attitude that will change the way we see our children. Because abuse has been around since the patriarchal systems of belief have been in place that doesn't make it natural or normal to see children as possessions to be shaped in someone elses image. When I see children being disrepectful I know it is because they see those primary caregivers in their lives being self disrespectful. I don't live my life because I am afraid not to for fear of punishment, I live my life wholely and authentically because it is the only self respectfing way I know how. And in living that way you set an example. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.