...speak to a cable internet specialist?

[provenlogic]

OK. So color me pissed.

My Cable TV is out.
My Cable Internet is out.

Why you ask, is this such a bad thing? Well A. It's been out since 8am, and B. It was supposed to be fixed already. My ISP and TV carrier are the same company. They've been out in the area the last few days doing upgrades, adding more bandwidth to the lines, etc... etc... So they said there would be some sporadic outages as things went off an on. Fine. I get that.

So my cable and internet went out yesterday morning at around 8am, so i was like, yep, upgrades. By around 11.30am everything was back up. So today when they went out around 8am, i thought to myself, meh... still working on those upgrades? I'll call and check. Yep, outage in the area, working on upgrades, will be back up before noon. Cool, no problem. I go to bed for the evening (my evening, cause i was up all night).

Wake up at 6.30pm. WTF!? Cable and internet is still out... So i give my lovely ISP a call, would i like to speak to a cable tv specialist, or a cable internet specialist? Well, both. I'm sorry, you have to choose. Ok, TV. "Hello, this is Yolanda, how may i helps you?" Great... Helps me? I'll spare you the details.

"WHAT!? I'm the only one in the area who hasn't had their service restored!?" "Yes sir, everyone else's service was restored at 12.30 this afternoon." "WHAT!? Why wasn't mine?" "It should have been sir, is your cable box working properly?" "No (dumbass), there's no signal" "Well that is strange, i don't know why your service has not been restored, i can check your neighbor's service, and it is working fine." "WHAT THA FUCK!?"

"I'm very sorry about this sir." "Don't be sorry, just fix it." "Well there is nothing i can do on this end sir, we'll have to send out a technician." "Um, why? The problem's not here, it's with whatever they were messing with this morning." "No sir, that problem was resolved." "Really? Then why am i starring at snow and blinking modem lights?" "I don't know sir, you seem to be having a signal problem." "Fine, send the tech." "OK sir, i can schedule that for you." "Schedule?" "Yes sir, the first available appointment is at 5pm tomorrow." "WHAT!?!??!?! 24 hours!?! Are you kidding me!?" "No sir, that is the first available." "You're telling me that because you guys messed up and didn't get my service back up with the rest of the umpteen thousand people in the area, i have to wait 24 hours for a tech to come out and tell me there's no problem here, it must be where they were working?" "Yes sir, that's the earliest someone can come out there." "WTF."

"You have 24/7 service, but you can't send someone out now?" "No sir, if you had a business account, we could have someone out within 4 hours, but you don't." "Excuse me? You mean you have tech's there but because i don't have a 50 million dollar business account, they can't come help me?" "That's right sir." "You've got to be kidding me." "No sir, well sir, i have that appointment scheduled for you, is there anything else i can help you with?" "(Yea you cunt sucking snotty bitch, fix my goddamn TV and internet) Well i'd like my service fixed." "Yes sir, hopefully they'll be able to do that for you tomorrow." "(Hopefully!? GODDAMN MOTHERF*CKERS) Yea, whatever *CLICK*."

So here i am, jacked into my neighbor's WI-FI (she leaves it unlocked, hah) with no TV, and a horrible internet connection (she couldn't spring for better high speed service?!). And i'm one frakking pissed puppy. There was tons of stuff i wanted to watch and DVR tonight on TV, not to mention work i needed to submit online (which i can't because this isn't my IP address), and now... Nothing.

*Walks off* God damn mother fucking cunt ass piss licking...

 

[Centurion]

We grieve for you over your lack of high speed internet access and multiple cable channels.

I mean you no offense, sir, but I cannot help but think of my time working in Nigeria with Médecins Sans Frontières. Those people had a few more issues than a few hours on a couple of days without high speed internet and multiple cable televison channels.

You are blessed beyond comprehension. Learn to appreciate your abundance. Would that the entire world should suffer your problems.

 

[DoctorGiggles25]

Sounds like a conversation I have at least 5 times a day at work with my customers. LoL. "We do apologize again for any inconvenience you may be experiencing at this point in time and we hope to have the issue resolved in a timely manner. Again, thank for your patience." LoL.

I'm sorry sweetheart. I know its frustrating as hell, but do you really think we like telling you that you have to wait to have your service fixed? If we could fix it over the phone we would, but we have not advanced far enough to accomplish this. Again, I'm sorry, but be confident that it will be fixed and you'll be back up and running real soon. :~)

 

[provenlogic]

And that bitch was lying too. The whole damn neighborhood is out. I've called 5 neighbors and none of them have TV, and only the ones that have internet with a different company have web service. And what's worse, all the neighbors called too, and go the same story, it's "just them" and they'll have to wait for a personal technician.

That's B.S. When a neighborhood of 200+ customers is out (probably more) you send out one of those damn 24/7 techs you have eating donuts at the office because it OBVIOUSLY isn't "just me".

And i forgot the best part of the convo. Yolanda asks, "You didn't happen to have your grass cut today did you?" "Uh... Why? Exactly would that matter?" "Well the line may have been cut." "I'm sorry, but uh... Since when did you guys start laying out your cable lines on the ground where they can be mowed over?" "Well they can't really, they're either on poles or about 3 feet underground," she says. To which i said, "Right, so what you meant to ask was: Did someone happen to dig a 3 foot deep hole in my lawn, rip out the cable line, place it on the grass next to the hole, run over it and the 3 foot deep hole with a lawnmower, resulting in the line being severed?... Does that sound the least bit implausible to you ma'am? 'Cause you know, it might be just me, but that seems like something i would have mentioned at the top of the convo had it happened." *silence* Me: *sigh* "Our lines are on poles, no one ran them over in the air. And no planes crashed into them either."

 

[provenlogic]

Heh, using different providers for the services, while a good idea in theory, isn't exactly doable. See, the company has this thing called a monopoly in my area. They are the only cable TV provider in the entire state. So if you want cable TV, you have to use them. And thus, they are the only cable internet provider as well (the only other "high speed" option is crappy DSL that doesn't work worth the shit that comes out a donkey's ass at midnight; hence the neighbor's crappy WI-FI i'm jacked into).

And another great thing they kept saying the umpteen times i've called them, "Remember you can always check out technical problems and pay your bill online at XYZ.com." My response varied from, "OH RLY? Can i? Now how do i do that ma'am, my internet is fucking out! How do i check out XYZ.com without internet access? Telepathy?", to "Not today i can't," depending on how snarky a mood i was in.

Oh, and yes, let me tell you another funny one i got this morning when i called back. So after explaining the situation for the 457th time to a different tech, i mentioned that despite what it said on their computer screen, the whole area was offline, as i've spoken to several neighbors. So he checks and says, "I'm sorry, but we've only received one other outage call from your street, that is not enough to trigger an area outage alert and to send someone out ASAP." So i said, "UM HELLO! They haven't called you because they've called all their neighbors and have been told 'Yep, we're out too', so they assumed you guys being a competent business, boy was that a bad assumption, already had people working on the problem!" "Well i'm sorry sorry, you'll have to get more people to call in to trigger an area outage alert." "Fucking excuse me? WHAT THE FUCK am i supposed to do!? Go door to door with a fucking clipboard and bag coupons asking everyone to call you guys so we can get our service back?! Why the hell do i have to be your bitch boy and do your jobs for you?" He didn't like that one and got snippy with me. So i hung up and called back for a different tech.

And belive me, if this had been a friday, you're darn right this would have been a whole different thread if i had missed atlantis! They better get their act together.

 

[provenlogic]

TRAITOR! You are a horrible horrible fan! SHAME! Shame!

And if you say a thing you know what will happen to you!

 

[trawler69]

Oh MY GOD this is a disaster, possibly the end of civilization as we know it. Call out the lawyers and get thee to a therapist quick before you go into terminal melt down or blow a vital gasket and have to be put on an emergency high speed fibre optic link to resuscitate you.

But yes these call centres do seem designed to infuriate however losing your rag with them just makes you look like a twat to them and, if they are in fact human, even less likely to help you.

Anyhow you are lucky to have so little to worry about that you can afford for this to get you so aereated.

 

[provenlogic]

Little to worry about? How about my JOB? I work from home. I had a deadline that i missed yesterday because of this. I have to log in via secure server that is keyed to recognize only MY IP address. I lost $200 in pay because i missed a deadline. I don't call that a little to worry about. Without the internet, i can't submit my work. If i can't submit my work, my pay get's cut, or i could get fired. So just because it seems trivial to you guys, doesn't mean that's the case. It's my livelyhood, it's how i pay my bills. Which is why i made damn sure i got m $8 credit for the last 2 days from them.

 

[trawler69]

Thanks for that, it has given me a bit of a reality check. I will not allow myself to get into the position where my livelihood relies On a tenuous connection through a few atoms of copper. I think the stress of it would be too much, the worry that an act of whomever with a simple bolt of lightning might ruin me.

I shall make a point of maintaining the many strings to my bow. This also makes me recall the wisdom of the proverb: "don't put all your eggs in one basket" Bit of a cliché I know and normally I avoid them like the plague

 

[provenlogic]

I don't have much of a choice in the matter. Either i live here, where i've lived all my life, and have family, or move to another state so that i can be crammed into a cubical at the main office.

Somehow, work from the comfort of home and submit online won out over loneliness, awkwardness, and cramped cubicals... Plus they make those guys STAY at the office 12-36 hours at a time during crunch season sometimes! I couldn't deal with that.

 

[provenlogic]

My services are back on... That was a joke. The tech was here all of 10 min.

He checked the connection at the side of the house and said, "Oh no sa, you is no haf cone-ection. I check pole." So he proceeded to climb the pole and say, "Ohhh, erreyting fine up hee-ya, i get connection. You check TV, is ok?" To which i said, "I'm sure it won't be, you haven't done anything... GOD DAMNIT, what the hell did you do? It's working now!" Then he said, "Oh, i do nutting" "Well why the hell is it working all of a sudden if you do nothing?", i said. "Oh, i do-nut know-sa. I do-nut do anyting, i just check for signal and erreyting ok." Then he packed up and left, leaving me with a dumbfounded look on my face.

WTF

 

[provenlogic]

What a bastard. He did that because you were a complete asshole on the phone

He flipped a switch with his tongue when you weren't looking - the connection is being maintained by spittle and as soon as it dries up you'll be offline again

LoL you laugh, but i'm afraid that might be true! I asked what do i do if it happens again, he said, "Ohhh i dun know. You maybe calls dem again." Again i asked what he did to fix it, and he repeated, "I do nutting." So...

I finally had a competent tech on the phone early this morning, who was actually helpful and knew what he was talking about, so much so i felt compelled not to be snarky. When everyone else told me there was no way to get the tech out to me sooner than 5pm, he put a call in to the dispatcher, and got the guy here at 1.30pm, and even called me back himself afterward to make sure it was working. Why couldn't i have gotten that guy the first time i called!? He was the one that credited my bill for the 2 days of no service.

See, i'm not that demanding or picky, silly me i just like people that know what they're doing and are helpful.

Oh, and to round out the funnies in this situation, at about 12pm, as i'm waiting for tech man to come, the cable office called, so i thought, yes, he's on the way. Heh. "Hello, we'd like to speak to [my name]." "This is he." "We're calling in regards to your cable service." "Yes!?" "We'd like to let you know you've been selected for a premium upgrade package! Would you like to add 12 channels for just $9 more a month, starting today?" As my face turned red with anger, i let that guy have it. I'm not even gonna say what i said, but suffusive to say, it was something to do with, "how fucking dare they ask me to give them more goddamn money for service when i haven't had any goddamn service for the past 2 days." Some nerve! Yes we've screwed you over the last 2 days, give us some more money so we can do it again sometime... As if!

 

[thermodynamics]

The incompetence of some of these "technicians" just astounds me. And they give the competent ones a bad name.

It's a good thing I don't count on one of them for anything critical, like, say, breathing.

 

[DoctorGiggles25]

Wow provenlogic, you make for some interesting reading. LoL. Im glad everything worked out.

Were you able to recover that lost $200 from work?

 

[mike_n_herrin]

So...um did everyone else's service suddenly come on also? or are they still out?

Glad you're back on!

 

[provenlogic]

Wow provenlogic, you make for some interesting reading. LoL. Im glad everything worked out.

Were you able to recover that lost $200 from work?

Nope . They don't care about WHY i didn't make the deadline. Besides, they could have just said, "you could have worked on it earlier and not waited until the last minute," (true, but beside the point in this case).

Guess i won't be getting that DVD set i wanted...

 

[provenlogic]

So...um did everyone else's service suddenly come on also? or are they still out?

Glad you're back on!

Yes everyone's came back on. Miraculous isn't it!?

I love when i asked the tech that came out, "Why did they tell me it was just me when it's clearly the entire street and then some?" He said, "Ohhhh i dun-know what dey tinking. We is doing much work in dis area all ova dee place. Dey not know what going on."

Talk about the right hand not knowing what the left hand is doing.

OH, and i'm not making fun of the tech, he was actually asian, so that's literally what he said. Well, he was half asian half indian (the kind from india, not native american).

 

[DoctorGiggles25]

Yes everyone's came back on. Miraculous isn't it!?

I love when i asked the tech that came out, "Why did they tell me it was just me when it's clearly the entire street and then some?" He said, "Ohhhh i dun-know what dey tinking. We is doing much work in dis area all ova dee place. Dey not know what going on."

Talk about the right hand not knowing what the left hand is doing.

OH, and i'm not making fun of the tech, he was actually asian, so that's literally what he said. Well, he was half asian half indian (the kind from india, not native american).

Thanks for the clarification. LoL. That "Talk about the right hand not knowing what the left hand is doing." happens at every company. They really don't tell us anything in customer service until about a million people start calling in about the same damn thing. LoL. Its frustrating for us too. LoL.

 

[sheep]

Ah feel your pain!

OMG! I didn't know ACI operated in the States too. Thats my isp/cable company. They advertise 24 hour support. Naturally I assumed they meant 24/7. Round the clock. Actually its more like 24 hours a week and never on Sundays or Saturdays. If you call after 5 you get Gloria who has the calls forwarded to her house where she makes a note of your phone number and address and emails it to the office in the morning (if her internet connection is working. Usually she takes the phone off the hook.
I wish I made a list of all the excuses they made to me. I've told them to take the %$@#&! cable box and stick it but they never do.

They make a good case for a phone modem and a satellite dish. As well as sterilization

 

[-Ryan-]

provenlogic,

my family has encountered a VERY similar situation.

for the people 'specializing' in repairing things; they really dont give a fuck.

its best to do it yourself [so the saying goes.]