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Speeddate

G

GayDad

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Hi again,

Well things were going ok until I found my BF on speeddate as a premium member.. Should I dump him as he is surely looking for a guy??? His profile says Friendship, dating and his status is single, plus the photo he has uploaded is very seductive...

Please let me know what you thing

btw before you say confront him I am later today, but was just wanting your thoughts!!!!
 
How/why did you find him? Did you suspect he was looking around and got lucky and found him there? I don't understand what *you* were doing on the site.

Anyway, there are a lot of if's, and's, and but's with stuff like this. Since you're going to talk with him about it later today, let us know what he said and how you reacted to what he said.

Good luck.
 
I had my suspicions that he was looking around.... this week he kept looking at his phone as though he was expecting a text
I knew he went on speeddate so decided to look...
I will tell you more later today
I feel so used and betrayed, I know I will get over this.. just can't believe it is happening

Haven't slept all night..... I keep thinking what to say to him... apart from the obvious
 
Life's too short.

End it and find someone new.

Just my tuppence, though.
 
Yeah your right about life's too short, but I love him and don't feel I can give him up.... I am so fucked in the head right now.... One part of me wants to beat the crap out of him and the other part wants to hug and kiss him
 
You have to look forward to the future.

It will be tough to begin with. There's no doubt about that. It does get better and easier. You'll have to want a better man/relationship and be strong.

My words come from being hurt too many times, that I have no tolerance for this kind of stuff. Jaded? Just a bit.
 
Umm. Some people might object to you visiting this site while in a relationship. I found out about this site from a bookmark in my boyfriend's list, but that doesn't mean everyone would feel the same way. There is no chance that I would start an affair based on chatting with people on this website, even though it can sometimes be a racy site, but not everyone would have that comfort level or understanding with their loved ones.

I don't think it is really great for him to be on a "speeddate" site, but who knows how active that account is, etc.

I don't know if you should break up with him but clearly you need to evaluate where things are at, with him evaluating things with you. I might not do it today either, while you're still going through the first reaction that hit you.
 
I only visited the site because I knew he went to it (yeah I know bunny boiler)....the account has recently become a premium member status...so I think that it is safe to say the account is very active
You could be right about not saying anything today.... but can I really go to bed with him knowing he is chatting to other guys about goodness knows what????
 
I'm a gay dad, too and in a relationship. The temptation might have been there to go to the site based on suspicion, but you might have told him of your suspicion first.
My guess is this will all get turned around and you'll be the one apologizing for spying.

Can't give him up?!? You may have no choice. A wise person once told me that the best way to hang on to a greasy marble is to keep the hand open. The harder you squeeze the greater the chance of losing it. If he is dating, or trying to, find out why. Don't be pathetic and beg, but if there is a reasonable chance to repair your relationship invest in couple's counseling; if not, I agree with looseliam, dump him.

Careful though, if you pushed him away somehow, you will probably make the same mistake next time. Believe me, I am not blaming you, just exploring possibilities. He was dead wrong to go ahead with this before speaking with you. Good luck.
 
I feel so used and betrayed, I know I will get over this.. just can't believe it is happening

Haven't slept all night..... I keep thinking what to say to him... apart from the obvious
Click to expand...

So you found out he is just using you like he probably uses everyone else. Just be glad you found out and didn't continue to be treated so badly.

Just tell him you don't want to see him anymore without a lot of drama or tears. Then shut the door and move on.
 
Well i couldn't dump him or talk to him about it... going away for a few weeks to get my head in order..will have to see how things go

Thank you for all your advice :)
 
I know this may be a stupid question but have you two had the talk about whether or not you want to be exclusive or have an open relationship where you see other people?
 
just so you know we have talked and everything is ok :)
Thank you for all your advice it really helped
 
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