Silvernitrate
Porn Star
I'm currently on a count down, and the days seem to pass very slow, but in retrospect, two weeks have gone by so quick! I'll be flying out to go see my family again in a week, for a little over a week! I'm excited for that.
I hope to see my ex boyfriend, he doesn't know I'm going, nor have I talked to him in almost a month, but I would still like to see him. The reason I haven't told him, is because I still have mad feelings for him, but we'll never ever live in the same state again, so there's no hope for us!
it's sad, and it's hard for me to get used to because I feel like I'm going be with him once I graduate school, but that's not happening. The only other place I'm living besides LA is New York. eek!! No doubt we'll end up having sex again like we always do, then I end up kicking myself! haha! I'll have more self control this time around!
But there is a girl, naomi, who has mad feelings for me and I understand what she's going through so I feel bad! It's partly my fault, because when I found out she wanted to by my date at all my fraternity formals I asked her, even though I knew she was developing feelings for me, but she was so hot and sweet, I couldn't turn her down! However, that's all I did nothing else.
I never even kissed her for fear of making things crazier, but I kind of feel bad for not kissing here and here is why..
She hung out with this guy that I knew from one of my classes, but I didnt really know him. I just knew I loved sitting by him, because he was like the hottest guy ever! He had a nice body and the most beautiful eyes ever! Well, we ended up officially meeting at a party and got a long very well from then on! Well, at one party we were extremely hammered and were talking alone. Well, some how, without even confessing our sexuality's, we ended up having a mad make out session! We had hickies and everything, it was intense! It happened several times through out the night. The next day when I saw naomi she seemed a little different, but kept on looking at my neck but didnt ask and I figured she knew.
Later on she ended up telling me knows everything, and asks now asks for her share and more! eek! She knows what team I'm on!
I just hate turning people down, it makes me feel like shit! There have been two girls I have had to say ... "Sorry, but I dig dudes!" in the past several months. ... neither of which still don't get the hint.
I hope to see my ex boyfriend, he doesn't know I'm going, nor have I talked to him in almost a month, but I would still like to see him. The reason I haven't told him, is because I still have mad feelings for him, but we'll never ever live in the same state again, so there's no hope for us!
it's sad, and it's hard for me to get used to because I feel like I'm going be with him once I graduate school, but that's not happening. The only other place I'm living besides LA is New York. eek!! No doubt we'll end up having sex again like we always do, then I end up kicking myself! haha! I'll have more self control this time around!But there is a girl, naomi, who has mad feelings for me and I understand what she's going through so I feel bad! It's partly my fault, because when I found out she wanted to by my date at all my fraternity formals I asked her, even though I knew she was developing feelings for me, but she was so hot and sweet, I couldn't turn her down! However, that's all I did nothing else.
I never even kissed her for fear of making things crazier, but I kind of feel bad for not kissing here and here is why..
She hung out with this guy that I knew from one of my classes, but I didnt really know him. I just knew I loved sitting by him, because he was like the hottest guy ever! He had a nice body and the most beautiful eyes ever! Well, we ended up officially meeting at a party and got a long very well from then on! Well, at one party we were extremely hammered and were talking alone. Well, some how, without even confessing our sexuality's, we ended up having a mad make out session! We had hickies and everything, it was intense! It happened several times through out the night. The next day when I saw naomi she seemed a little different, but kept on looking at my neck but didnt ask and I figured she knew.
Later on she ended up telling me knows everything, and asks now asks for her share and more! eek! She knows what team I'm on!
I just hate turning people down, it makes me feel like shit! There have been two girls I have had to say ... "Sorry, but I dig dudes!" in the past several months. ... neither of which still don't get the hint.