Start of dating phase?

[always-one]

Hey JUBers- long time listener. First time caller. So here it goes...

I've been hanging out with this guy for a couple of months. We live kind of far from each other (he lives an hour from Atlanta), so we generally only see each other on the weekends. Overall, we have a pretty good time together. It hasn't gotten to the point where we've kissed or anything, so it's hard to say where things are going. On Friday night we hung out, and I was going to bring this stuff up, but it never got there. I'm not really sure when the next time we'll see each other (maybe two weeks), so it can be a while before we can talk about it face-to-face. Overall, it's something that's been on my mind, so I'd really like to talk to him about it sooner than later. I'm at the point where if things were going somewhere, great, if not, then I'd be okay with that too. I really just want to move on if it's reached that point considering it's been a few months.

Any thoughts or advice on the situation? I should probably mention that he seems to be somewhat reserved (and I'm kind of shy), so I think these qualities make matters worse for the situation.

Thanks guys

 

[swerve]

I love the tension and build up to the "first time"...

BUT -- a couple of months seems like a REALLY LONG TIME!!!

Having said that -- I suspect that you should talk about this with him FACE TO FACE and not over the phone...

So -- I would suggest waiting ANOTHER couple of weeks...

BEST OF LUCK -- and keep us posted!!!

 

[always-one]

what's your dynamic like? are you hanging out as buds with a group, one-on-one, going out to dinner together, etc?

Hey guys- thanks for the insight.

We've only hung out one-on-one. Sometimes out to dinner, sometimes his place, sometimes mine, etc. It seems like we're heading in "that" direction, but can't really figure it out.

 

[always-one]

I'm assuming he's gay/bi and knows that you're bisexual as well... is he shy? maybe he's waiting for you to make the first move.

I know a straight guy who took one of those douchebag-y pick-up classes. a lot of it seemed dumb and creepy, but there was one technique that made a lot of sense and I've employed on dates.

Thanks again! Yeah, it's all out there...

I'm a little nervous to make a move because I wouldn't want to jeopardize a potential friendship (but on the same token don't want to pass on a potential relationship). My plan is to ask him where he thinks things are going and see what happens. I'll then offer my insight accordingly haha. Seem reasonable?

 

[alwaysone]

Alright so him and I had some time last night to hang out. Of course, I chickened out and never asked. It's beginning to drive me a little nuts because we're going onto three months of talking, and I have no idea where things are going. All I know is that we both want to keep hanging out with each other. So....my question is- how can I bring up this topic without jeopardizing a potential friendship. I need a subtle way to bring it up, but everything I come up with is too forward. Any thoughts?

 

[HunterM]

To start with, tell him you like hangout with him...something like "You are my best friend to hang out with." Tell him what you like about him...what you like about his personality traits. Watch his reactions (veral and non-verbal cues) to your compliments, and let us know how it goes.

 

[alwaysone]

To start with, tell him you like hangout with him...something like "You are my best friend to hang out with." Tell him what you like about him...what you like about his personality traits. Watch his reactions (veral and non-verbal cues) to your compliments, and let us know how it goes.

Good advice...thanks!