Starting to feel very frustrated with myself

[jumblesale]

I've always been a naturally shy person. I'm almost 24 years old and stuck in a rut. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life; I consider hook up sites like Manhunt/Grindr to meet people but get freaked out because I'm a shy virgin and feel completely out of my depth.

I live in a small town and I plan to get the hell out of here eventually, but when...?

I know I'm not alone in this type of situation but I wish had the confidence to just stop waiting for something amazing to happen. I'm quite an upbeat person but it really gets me down to think that I'm wasting my youth.

Apologies for the rant. I had to vent somewhere.

Thanks for listening; here's Taylor Swift at the Grammy's getting attacked by Ryu from Street Fighter to say thanks (I think she'll be alright):

 

[borg69unimatrix]

Hookup sites like Manhunt/Grindr, IMO, are for the more advanced, whom are able to have quickie one night stands and not think twice about it with no emotional attachements. For shyer guys just starting out and looking for a real connection, instead of jumping in the deep end maybe you could try wading in on sites geared more towards making friends and dating like OKCupid.

 

[jumblesale]

Thanks for the advice, and I think you're right.

 

[bruce379]

Here is my advice though: I think there is nothing wrong with hooking up with Grindr, Jack'd, Scruff and Manhunt, etc. The earlier you get used to it the better. I have friend who was raised from a conservative background and grew up paranoid and picky and overly romantic about relationships that I doubt if he had that much sex in the first place. The tragic thing is he is 40+ y.o. already and he still clings to these delusions of romantic attachments with guys and looking for the perfect guy. Totally fucked up guy.

I say go for it and hook up with a good looking guy. Suck dick or if that is a bridge too far for you, start with getting a blowjob from a guy and work your way to more stuff from there. Look at it this way: Sex is 1.3 billion years old. It's not your fault. So start enjoying it before your expiration date It is not far-fetched for gay guys to have sex with hundreds of guys in their lifetime. I stopped counting after the first 3 months I started hooking up with guys.

I was a late bloomer too so that's why I tried to make up, and still making up for it. A typical straight guy on average has 17 sexual partners in a lifetime. I blew past that in the first 2 months I started hooking up with guys.

Just don't be stupid. Yeah. You heard me. You're not stupid so you should know what I'm talking about. No bareback sex. Always use condoms if you are fucking. Don't have sex when you are fucked-up drunk; buzzed, sure. Don't hook up with drug addicts. Don't do drugs. Don't go into situations where you can get hurt or somebody get hurt. Sex should be consensual. Always ask for permission.

If you can follow those simple commonsense rules, fuck all you want and enjoy yourself. Enjoy as many threesomes and group orgies as you can because after 30y.o. those become much scarcer. Life is too short. While you are alive, risk always exists. You can die from a fire in your own house or get in a car accident while going to work. If your outlook in life is zero risk then I have nothing to say to people like that. I feel sorry for those losers.

If you feel stifled. Go to the bigger cities or otherwise make a good career or business that can keep you independent so you can say fuck you to all naysayers.

Good luck.

 

[WifeofaBihusband]

Here is my advice though: I think there is nothing wrong with hooking up with Grindr, Jack'd, Scruff and Manhunt, etc. The earlier you get used to it the better. I have friend who was raised from a conservative background and grew up paranoid and picky and overly romantic about relationships that I doubt if he had that much sex in the first place. The tragic thing is he is 40+ y.o. already and he still clings to these delusions of romantic attachments with guys and looking for the perfect guy. Totally fucked up guy.

I say go for it and hook up with a good looking guy. Suck dick or if that is a bridge too far for you, start with getting a blowjob from a guy and work your way to more stuff from there. Look at it this way: Sex is 1.3 billion years old. It's not your fault. So start enjoying it before your expiration date It is not far-fetched for gay guys to have sex with hundreds of guys in their lifetime. I stopped counting after the first 3 months I started hooking up with guys.

I was a late bloomer too so that's why I tried to make up, and still making up for it. A typical straight guy on average has 17 sexual partners in a lifetime. I blew past that in the first 2 months I started hooking up with guys.

Just don't be stupid. Yeah. You heard me. You're not stupid so you should know what I'm talking about. No bareback sex. Always use condoms if you are fucking. Don't have sex when you are fucked-up drunk; buzzed, sure. Don't hook up with drug addicts. Don't do drugs. Don't go into situations where you can get hurt or somebody get hurt. Sex should be consensual. Always ask for permission.

If you can follow those simple commonsense rules, fuck all you want and enjoy yourself. Enjoy as many threesomes and group orgies as you can because after 30y.o. those become much scarcer. Life is too short. While you are alive, risk always exists. You can die from a fire in your own house or get in a car accident while going to work. If your outlook in life is zero risk then I have nothing to say to people like that. I feel sorry for those losers.

If you feel stifled. Go to the bigger cities or otherwise make a good career or business that can keep you independent so you can say fuck you to all naysayers.

Good luck.

I wish there was a "like" button on here that was pure awesome!!!


But, I agree that if you aren't that comfortable with just having sex for the sake of having sex then by all means okcupid or other such sites is an awesome avenue for you!

 

[jumblesale]

"Look at it this way: Sex is 1.3 billion years old. It's not your fault."

That is one of the greatest things I've ever read, seriously. I've got friends that I can talk to about this stuff but they live a few hours away. I've already experienced that horrible cliche of falling in love with a straight best friend and it was a miserable time. I have no qualms with the thought of the sexual side of things; sucking dick etc. If anything I'm extremely sexually frustrated as well!

My biggest inhibition is putting myself out there. I think too much and it's a bloody nuisance. But yeah you're advice is excellent and thank you so much for taking the time to respond

 

[bruce379]

You're welcum. Good night and wet dreams

And share the sexcapades just make sure you play safe. No point ruining your fun.

 

[Seasoned]

Make some kind of move now rather than waiting until you move. You'll be the same shy person. Doing something now to come out of your shell will do a lot for you whether or not you move. Geography will not change your personality. Best wishes!

 

[bruce379]

Oh, by the way. Do you want to practice your people skills and make money in the process?

Become a waiter or a bartender and try to be good at it for a year or two, even on a part-time basis. It has the added benefit of improving your resume by making you sellable to a good company for a sales position. Some companies, especially the HR department, choose people with bartending or waitstaff experience first when hiring for sales position because they see them as having the people skills and salesmanship training background already.