Stationed in the Middle East... My Boyfriend freaked out

[Luka]

Hey guys this isn't really a question or anything just kind of a vent thing lol.

About 2.5 months ago i arrived in the Middle East where I'm stationed for a year...i had a boyfriend of 6 months when i left the states and we moved quite fast in our relationship, I had given him a promise ring before i left (witch know i see was a mistake). So anyways being over here is really stressful and my boyfriend wasn't making it easy to be over hear at all, i understand he would be upset, but i was being strong about it and apparently he couldn't handle it.

So after being here about a month he sent me a message to call him because we need to talk, so i called and he was crying and said he thought i was cheating on him so he used my password for iTunes to see if he could get into my email, and he did, and found nothing, but he felt like i was cheating so he did it.

I broke up with him on the spot, I'm not cool with him not trusting me and what not, keep in mind he's 35 and acting very immature about the whole thing. So anyways in the time since i broke up with him I've realized i didn't love him as much as i thought and that i was more in love with the idea of being in love. So i feel good that i don't have to go back to the states and be with him and i can have a fresh start now. I live in Maine and i met him when i was station din washington state so he had been planning to move to maine but i definatley don't want him too now. He keeps emailing me and stuff and I'm pretty sure he is super in love with me still and thinks theres a chance we will be together when i get back, but i keep letting him know and he won't leave me alone, guess I'm just going to have to block all communication with him, witch is too bad but i don't need to deal with that drama.

Anyways thanks for reading haha all comments and concerns are welcome lol

 

[loveguys72]

First off, Luka, thank you for your service to the country!

As far as this relationship goes, you're absolutely right--stick a fork in it, it's done. Send him one more email telling him flatly that it's over and you won't be seeing or communicating with each other anymore. Then ignore any further communications from him. He'll eventually get the message.

Good luck and stay safe over there!

 

[Seasoned]

Stay safe. I hope all goes well with your tour of duty.

Sometimes we don't realize the quality of a bf or a relationship until faced with stress. You learned about both rather quickly. You also learned the valuable lesson that its possible to fall in love with the idea of being in love. As for the ex, take all precautions because he has shown he has all the qualities of a stalker. I'm sure you have now changed all personal data to something he can't guess. Best wishes.

 

[bankside]

I'm sorry he treated you so badly. May 2013 be a better year.

 

[jaysizzles]

It's good to vent.

In your previous communications with him, were you blunt with how you feel about him and that you know that you are definitely not in love nor getting back together? As much as it hurts the other guy, when they just don't get it, you have to be bluntly honest. If you gave him any mixed messages, it could be the reason why he seems to be holding out hope.

I agree that you need to sever all ties and communications with him, but if you haven't simply stated to him that you know it's over and that you are moving on with your life; that this will be the last communication you have with him; and that you wish him well...then you really should one last time to drive the point home.

I also want to thank you for your part in serving in our military. Best wishes for you and for a safe return home.

 

[rareboy]

Hey Boo.

It is something that guys have been dealing with over the last 3500 years.

I would suggest that the next time around, talk all this out with your guy and make sure that each of you are cool with no drama about what happens in life.

Myabe you need to talk about what is allowable physically and what is expected emotionally.

I'm so sorry that this wasn't the right guy, but he is out there. The one who trusts you and will wait.

 

[r0ckst4r]

Yep tell him that you don't love him and aren't attracted to him, so he can move on.

 

[Just_Believe18]

You made the right choice. I wish you a safe journey home after your tour. Thank you for sharing. I hope someone in a similar position finds inspiration with your story to do the right thing.

 

[rickbell19]

Luka, I hope you are well and also wanted to sincerely thank you for your service to our Country! Hugs, Ricky

 

[r0ckst4r]

Why do I get the feeling, a few guys on here want to service you for serving the country?

 

[Scealle]

You made the right choice. Love cant be forced. Stay safe and hope things will go well for you

 

[Luka]

hey everyone! thanks for the responses and i rally appreciate all of your support

So update! he wouldn't leave me alone so yesterday i flat out told him how i felt and that i didn't see us ever getting back together and i thought it was best for us not to talk, so he starts emailing my mom and best friend back home talking shit about me! lol so we all just blocked him, and then i get a hate email from his best friend, so i didn't respond and blocked him, there are some really crazy people out there!!

on another note.... I'm always up for being serviced and serving HAHAHAHA

 

[Rolyo85]

I don't wanna sound like a douche, but we all told you not to go into this relationship prior to leaving...

 

[Ninja108]

Thank you for serving our country first of all.
Second of all,you did the right thing. The fact he went into all your private e-mail accounts shows a serious lack of trust,not good for a relationship. That and the jealousy issue..nothing good will come out of it and his reaction speaks volumes to that.
Good for you for knowing when to get out.

 

[makeurowndstny]

Thank you for serving our country. Distance is a make or break in a relationship. His true colors were shown and now you can find someone who gives you the trust you deserve! Stay safe and I hope you come home soon!