Still a virgin & afraid of gay sex, hire an escort?

[JayQueer]

As many of you JUBBers know I have had a very difficult time coming out. It has been a very slow and gradual process for me. Part of my struggles is complicated with my cultural background which is very traditional & conservative. Plus I am a very traditional person myself. I have never dated a woman before because in my culture it is expected that if you are a man, you get a good education first, get a stable career, and then my parents would find me a woman to marry they they approved of.

I really want a boyfriend but I'm still not really comfortable with myself. I really want to get married & settle down. I don't think sex is that important to me but I know that most men consider sex to be an important part of their relationships.

I've given up on dating. I just don't have the right body & I can't compete against the West Hollywood bois with their toned, athletic bodies. But I wonder what happens if I do meet Mr. Right, but then he is turned off because I can't sex good?

I'm still a virgin. I'm a total bottom though. I know this because I have no desire to top, & I see myself as the more feminine partner in the relationship. But bottoming scares me. I tried putting a toy up my ass with a little lube, and I started feeling like I was going to poop. I'm terrified about having sex, and what happens if I accidentally poop all on my boyfriend (and, no I'm not into scat)? How does douching work? I've never douched before, so I'm scared about that too.

Should I hire an escort & hope that he might make me feel more comfortable with gay sex? I know that there are escorts to accompany people to social events but are they also willing to have sex? At this point, I'm running out of options. I'm getting older and I'm not exactly a catch. I just don't want to die a virgin!!

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

Anal sex isn't actually mandatory in homosexual relationships. Many gay men do without.

 

[checkinthingsout]

SO you say you "really want a boyfriend" but you have given up on dating? Makes no sense. Dating/courtship is and always will be the road that leads to finding a compatible person to have a relationship with.

Sex is an important part of relationship, but is an aspect that is more malleable than someone's personality and general compatibility.

If you are hiring an escort to get more comfortable with gay sex, why don't you just date someone and have them do the same? I don't see what you think an escort can do in building your sexual self-esteem that a supportive and understanding lover cannot do as well?

If you poop on someone, while it might be a turn off, trust me it is not the end of the world. I mean it is anal sex, shit happens. Also, maybe find other gay men who like to bottom and ask them what they may do to prepare for the experience.

You are not the only person in Hollywood without a perfect body, so maybe you should start looking for other guys who are similar to your build and body type.

My advice is do not hire an escort, just find someone to date or hookup with who can also show you the ropes, and maybe you'll get a friend or a boyfriend out of it too .

 

[peeonme]

Think of a douche in the same way that you would an enema, you can buy a disposable fleet enema and use it, it comes with instructions.
It sounds like you are over thinking this, the first time I topped a dude the last thing I thought about was "poop", likewise the first time I took it we didn't worry about it, use condoms, wash up or shower and relax, life is short.
Also you might want to eat more fiber, it is a natural for keeping things clean.

 

[youngnihilist]

If you can afford it, do it. Why not?

The guy who replied and said just hookup/date with someone... well, let's face it, if you're picky, that may be much earlier said than done.

 

[Telstra]

Where is rareboy ....

Anyway, yea hire an escort, why not.

 

[bankside]

As many of you JUBBers know I have had a very difficult time coming out. It has been a very slow and gradual process for me. Part of my struggles is complicated with my cultural background which is very traditional & conservative. Plus I am a very traditional person myself. I have never dated a woman before because in my culture it is expected that if you are a man, you get a good education first, get a stable career, and then my parents would find me a woman to marry they they approved of.

I really want a boyfriend but I'm still not really comfortable with myself. I really want to get married & settle down. I don't think sex is that important to me but I know that most men consider sex to be an important part of their relationships.

I've given up on dating. I just don't have the right body & I can't compete against the West Hollywood bois with their toned, athletic bodies. But I wonder what happens if I do meet Mr. Right, but then he is turned off because I can't sex good?

I'm still a virgin. I'm a total bottom though. I know this because I have no desire to top, & I see myself as the more feminine partner in the relationship. But bottoming scares me. I tried putting a toy up my ass with a little lube, and I started feeling like I was going to poop. I'm terrified about having sex, and what happens if I accidentally poop all on my boyfriend (and, no I'm not into scat)? How does douching work? I've never douched before, so I'm scared about that too.

Should I hire an escort & hope that he might make me feel more comfortable with gay sex? I know that there are escorts to accompany people to social events but are they also willing to have sex? At this point, I'm running out of options. I'm getting older and I'm not exactly a catch. I just don't want to die a virgin!!

Conservative people who value relationships do not hire escorts.

Also, in a free world, your culture is whatever you decide it is. Disappoint your parents by living life as an adult if you must, but do it.

Finally, conservative people who value relationships find a patient person as a lover who will not rush him and who will make sure he's comfortable and who will make sure the time is right.

Finally finally, conservative people who have any kind of traditional worthwhile manners at all will push past their own insecurities if that's what it takes to be welcoming and hospitable and show kindness to others, which is the right thing to do, but, incidentally, is also how to find a patient kind and decent lover.

 

[StandAlone2323]

I wouldn't hire an escort. Just because you aren't in the best physical shape doesn't mean you can't find someone. The gay world can be kind of superficial. Realistically speaking (as a kind of chubby guy myself), people generally hook up/date men of the same type they are, so you shouldn't worry that you will be rejected by everyone. Not all gay guys are super skinny or total beefcakes, naturally. If you wanna find a serious partner, just be yourself I find that a guy who talks and expresses himself a certain can turn me on a lot, regardless of their physical attractiveness.

It was mentioned before as well, but it's true. Not all gay guys have anal sex. It's more common than you might imagine. I think most people who do have to "loosen up" first though. I don't bottom, but my bf said that now that he's gotten used to it he no longer feels like he is gonna lose control of his bowels when we have sex. Plus, anal sex is actually a lot of work lol. You have to have already shit that day and washed up in the shower to be ready to do it. It definitely doesn't just show up to main event, ready to go Just keep practicing by yourself if you think it will help you. Maybe have a couple drinks to loosen yourself up?

Like I said, you don't need to hire an escort, but if you meet someone nice they will be understanding. You could try meeting someone on Tinder or Scruff. I've never used them, but I have friends who have gone out on dates with guys they met there.

 

[sixthson]

Some people are natural born lovers. Most have to be taught. When you are in a relationship, you spend time learning what the other one likes and wants. With time and patience you learn the give and take of physical sex. Stop worrying about being good at it before you actually find someone. Hang in there, Jay, and forget about the escort.

 

[KaraBulut]

You're living in a city that has quite a few guys who have sex for money. You can browse rentboy.com or any of the gay rags and find someone to hire for sex if that is the way you prefer to go.

However, you get what you pay for, so expect to shell out some cash if you have a specific type that you're looking for.

What is not clear is whether you're hiring a rentboy because you want to play in a controlled environment or whether you just want to get losing your anal virginity over with. While there's nothing wrong with hiring a pro to accomplish either option, you might want to keep in mind that these guys are usually hired for their natural gifts, so you may getting in over your head if you can't take a toy up your ass.

 

[checkinthingsout]

If you can afford it, do it. Why not?

The guy who replied and said just hookup/date with someone... well, let's face it, if you're picky, that may be much earlier said than done.

Yes, I said that because this guy is not looking for a sexual experience, he is looking for sexual and romantic intimacy based on the details of his post. That will be hard to find if you are looking for people who have sex for money.

I would only recommend an escort if you are looking for a specific fantasy or sexual experience to fulfill, and what it sounds like the poster wants is something more.

He should instead be a little less superficial on looks, and focus on finding someone he can be comfortable with in bed because they want to be there, not because they are being paid for it.

 

[hylas]

hire an escort or don't; but I'd suggest you take things step by baby-step, given how anxious about various aspects you seem to be. "finding the love of my life, settling down" is perhaps a bit much, for a first step.

 

[Benvolio]

hire an escort or don't; but I'd suggest you take things step by baby-step, given how anxious about various aspects you seem to be. "finding the love of my life, settling down" is perhaps a bit much, for a first step.

Definitely hire an escort. It eliminates your first worry about finding someone, agreeing to something etc. I suggest rentboy.com. And you may want to consult the reviews on daddy's reviews.com. Do not be reluctant to tell the one you select that you are inexperienced. Do not feel that you have to do everything the first meeting. Do not worry what the escort will think. He will understand and he is there to please you. Trust me, when you meet him and get close to him with his clothes off, the ole hormones will kick in and your nervousness will disappear. You can wait until then to decide if you want to bottom. You can have lots of fun even if you are not ready for that.
Remember, if you think you are gay, you would not be fair if you induce a woman to marry you. You should determine whether you are gay or not, and hiring an escort is a good way.