In one way I envy you that both your gay desires started and you began accepting them so young. I didn't allow them to come to the surface for me until I was 30, when they seemingly spontaneously just appeared in my conscious mind thousands of miles from home while on a five month road trip after my first girlfriend, of three years, broke up with me for the third time (after we even started talking marriage). I had the exact same experience in the locker room as you did and at the same age, but I just smashed those feelings down and kept them buried for the next 15 years!
But I also empathize with you in both your confusion and pain. For me it took another 30 years after that road trip, 30 years of having sex with mostly men, to accept my 95% homosexuality. For the first 20 years I was only interested in a guy's cock, where so many bisexual guys start. I would fantasize about everything gay, wanting every part of a guy's body, and his heart, and super enjoy all the different forms of gay porn, and with intense desire to make love with a guy every time my desires were strong enough to drive me out of the house in search of it, only to lose all that desire when I was naked with a real man. There were only half a dozen exceptions out of hundreds of anonymous guys where I kept my desire, but then only for his cock. And still lots of desire for women, physically and romantically, but failing in all the dates I had. 20 years of bi-confusion!
Then I finally had my first anal experience with a guy, and fucking him changed everything for me, in terms of physical desire for every part of a guy's body from then on. But I still had no romantic feelings for the guys I was getting together with in each other's homes. It took my second girlfriend, also of three years, with her breaking up with me many times, for me to finally realize she was just the wrong gender for me. When I finally in the last few months wasn't able to orgasm while fucking her without pretending she was a man in my imagination, every time, I knew it was time to end the relationship. I broke up with her just before Covid hit, without any desire left to ever have sex with a woman again, let alone romance, and I felt so excited and feeling so free like never before to have lots of sex, and even romance, with guys again. But of course then the lockdowns happened.
But I still identified as gay, even though I had yet to have my first romantic feelings for another man. And that still didn't come for three more years, after I turned 60. I developed my first romantic crush on another guy, though unrequited. And then it happened again a year later, but again unrequited. I have yet to fall in love with another guy, and him with me, but after 33 years, I'm finally ready for it, or at least to have a long-term relationship with another man. At this point I would even settle for a special friend with benefits, or several, lol. My lifelong internalized homophobia caused me to waste so much time, so many decades. No more.
So have patience with yourself. You've had such a head start already, still two years ahead of when my own bi-confusion started, and with more than 10 years of exploration that's gotten you to a place it took me a lifetime. Like others have and will say, you don't have to have this kind of feeling or that kind of feeling with a girl or guy. You have what you have. Enjoy your life where you're at right now. What I wouldn't give to have allowed myself to enjoy having sex with guys in my teens and 20s. But, to tell you the truth, I have no doubt in my mind that you're going to fall for a guy one day, and the same sex romantic floodgates will open. I rejoice in your future happiness!
