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  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

"straight" and need advise...

C

ConfusedAt31

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I am a 30 something year-old man and, despite questioning my sexuality as an adolescent, have always considered myself to be straight. I rarely feel attracted to other men, whereas I feel attracted to a lot of women that I meet. I also develop feelings for women, but never for men.

That said, I sometimes fantasize about men. Looking at gay porn is a turn-on for me and there have been some men that I have felt some attraction to.

Is it possible, therefore, that I am maybe 75% straight and a quarter gay?
 
ConfusedAt31 said:
I am a 30 something year-old man and, despite questioning my sexuality as an adolescent, have always considered myself to be straight. I rarely feel attracted to other men, whereas I feel attracted to a lot of women that I meet. I also develop feelings for women, but never for men.

That said, I sometimes fantasize about men. Looking at gay porn is a turn-on for me and there have been some men that I have felt some attraction to.

Is it possible, therefore, that I am maybe 75% straight and a quarter gay?
Click to expand...

Why does the answer matter to you?

What difference does it make in your life?

If you want to have sex with a man, do it. Enjoy it. Just be safe about it.

You don't need society's permission for that. (*8*)
 
Lube said:
Why does the answer matter to you?

What difference does it make in your life?

If you want to have sex with a man, do it. Enjoy it. Just be safe about it.

You don't need society's permission for that. (*8*)
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exactly. (just needed to make this longer)
 
sex is different than sexuality.

sex is for satisfaction, sexuality is for procreation.

so it really doesn't matter what your sexuality is.
 
ConfusedAt31 said:
Is it possible, therefore, that I am maybe 75% straight and a quarter gay?
Click to expand...

How about 72.168406% straight? Or 72.168408%... :D

Here's the deal: it's never a straightforward or consistent thing. Attractions are attractions. They come and go, they change from day to day and it's not something that you can express with percentages or scientific notation.

If you're happy having an occasional attraction and lubing it up and giving it a wank satisfies your need for a little man-fantasy, then there's nothing wrong with that. It doesn't make you anything other than sexual and a little kinky. Just because you like to watch the Mormon Tabernacle Choir doesn't mean you have to convert to Mormonism. It's perfectly okay to just like the way they sing.

However, if you want to make this into a little pressing of the man-flesh in real life, then it gets a bit more complicated. Fantasy is one thing. Reality is another.

If you need a name for it, you're probably bisexual but the same could be said of most people... whether they acknowledge it or just indulge in bromance or hanging out with their best buds or browsing JUB galleries with their favorite bottle of lube at hand.
 
You might have seen my Flexuality Test mentioned on another thread. You can take it on the web anonymously and find your sexual profile from among 12 different sexual types. You might be heteroflexible or something else. A lot of people have sexual interest in both sexes without experiencing equivalent desires for affection.
 
KaraBulut said:
Just because you like to watch the Mormon Tabernacle Choir doesn't mean you have to convert to Mormonism. It's perfectly okay to just like the way they sing.
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ok, true enough, but we must distinguish that from another case: if you watch the Mormon Tabernacle Choir when no one else is around, because your parents and religion told you singing is bad, and what you really want to do is sing in the choir, then I think you should jettison your fears and go and join the choir. ;) (!)
 
Lube said:
ok, true enough, but we must distinguish that from another case: if you watch the Mormon Tabernacle Choir when no one else is around, because your parents and religion told you singing is bad, and what you really want to do is sing in the choir, then I think you should jettison your fears and go and join the choir. ;) (!)
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Problem is that you have to be a Mormon to be in the choir. :)

OP seems to be more the sing in the shower type. More power to him.
 
The downfall of society - percentages and labels.

You are who you are, and you have turn-ons. Straight, gay, whatever.
Embrace who you are.

BTW you might be gay or bisexual ;-) but who cares, just as long as you are aware of yourself, and hopefully, tap into that repressed part of yourself one day!
 
Yeah, I'd definitely wouldn't worry with labels or percentages. Keep enjoying gay porn, etc. and don't sweat it!
 
What Texan Slut and AquiredTaste wrote. Don't worry about labelling yourself straight, bi, omni - whatever. Just be secure that you like what you like, don't box yourself in with words.
 
Just never cheat on your woman with a guy.
 
it is actually a normal occurrence for 'straight' males to view homosexual adult materials, as for the bond maybe it is just the natural 'brotherly' bond you feel for your fellow man.
 
Yes, never cheat on your wife period.

I thought about having sex with men and women daily for 18 years while I was dating and then married to my ex. I had strong urges but it wasn't worth straying.
I'm single now and free to bed both men and women. I intend to bed plenty of both because I have always been sexually attracted to both. I have not had the pleasure of enjoying sex with a guy but I see myself being both lustful and sensual with men. It would probably end there. I feel romantically attracted to women but not at all for men.
With that being said, I don't really care how I'm labeled. If a label had to be placed on me it would be bisexual.
 
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