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Straight but with crush on guy

Never have I hated my job so much as I do tonight. We were both working tonight actually, and for our jobs we have to be in the office til midnight, and then our rooms til 8AM. And we can't leave our building at all. Of course, we live in neighboring buildings. So we were chatting online right before midnight and he was talking about watching "Heroes" that he had tivo'd. He asked if I had watched it, which I had, so he was like "You suck, I was gonna say you should come over and watch it with me." I of course said I wanted to, but then we both remembered we couldn't leave our buildings! Argh! Not only do I want to spend more time with him, but it could have been a good opportunity to talk things out. Sigh.

So none of that was really important, I just wanted to vent, haha.
 
^ I sense a mutual connection between the two of you. Why waste any more time? Pursue it. Just tell him how you feel. I'm sure he feels the same way, and if you express your reservations about exploring your sexuality, I know he'll take it slow with you and help you through it.

Give it a shot! You may feel a little romance with this one ;)
 
I'm not trying to say you are ignorant about yourself, so don't take this the wrong way, maybe you are just as you say and will stay that way, but I went through the whole "I'm only romantically attracted to girls" phase too. I eventually came to realize that I could have those feelings for guys (and did).
 
Let me clear something up. I'm not against having romantic feelings for this guy, or any guy. The confusion comes from never having these feelings before. It's new and a little scary, but it's not something that I'm deadset against or trying to deny. I know I have feelings for him. It's everything that comes with it that is a little overwhelming.
 
Welcome to (the posting side of) JUB! :wave:

Well, if you're interested in guys sexually, and now find yourself emotionally attracted to one, I should tell you that we DO have a term for that. But I think you know what that is, so let's just move on.

What should you do? Well, stop thinking of yourself as "straight/curious", for one thing. :) I'd say "bisexual" is a better term. No, this may not have happened before, but now it has. Another piece of the puzzle.

What should you do? Well, honestly, he's given you every opening in the book. He let you know he's gay, he lets you sleep with him, and he even suggested that he may have a crush on you. So take it, already. Remind him of that conversation, and ask. "Does this mean you DO have a crush on me?" If he says yes, or kinda, say "Would it weird you out to have that crush returned?"

Lex
 
So this is probably the bookend of this story for now. Last night we had a talk. I brought up the day he confronted me about the gay porn and explained my orientation. On the one hand it was nice to finally talk to someone about it. We both shared our life stories basically and all of our experiences. The reason he had brought it up last month was because he figured I was going through the same thing as him and wanted a friend to talk to about it and maybe go through the process together. I explained that I'm not ready nor even sure I want to come out to anyone else, and I'm pretty confident he'll keep it between us. There's always gonna be that paranoid side of me that will wonder, but I trust him.

On the other hand...at one point he said "Just please don't be like [our other friend that is crushing on him]. Please please please, I will kill you. I will seriously kill you. Everyone I tell that I'm gay just wants to get in my pants and all I want is a friend." Pretty harsh words. That pretty much dashed my hopes, and of course after that I didn't mention anything about my crush or thinking he had one on me. It seems pretty clear now that he does not. Which I guess is fine. I mean, I still have these feelings for him, but I treasure our friendship over all else. If that's all I can have, then that's all I want.

All in all...I feel kinda blah about the whole thing. In a way it seems like I told him everything (well almost everything) for nothing. And I told one of my other friends about my feelings for him, again for nothing. Sigh.
 
MiamiMac123 said:
On the other hand...at one point he said "Just please don't be like [our other friend that is crushing on him]. Please please please, I will kill you. I will seriously kill you. Everyone I tell that I'm gay just wants to get in my pants and all I want is a friend." Pretty harsh words.
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Be thankful that he's honest.

And be thankful that he cares enough to give you the opportunity to talk about it.
 
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