Straight friend wants to mess around, but only when drunk . . . and when I find him.

[greymask]

So, I have this "friend". He's more a friend of a friend, the sort of person who's on my facebook but who I almost never see when our mutual friend isn't in the picture. He is a textbook stud - 25, charming face, a ripped and muscular body, and a MASSIVE cock. On paper he's 100% straight - he dates tons of girls (by "dates" I mean "fucks and then kicks out of the house") and while he's known for getting drunk and doing crazy things like running around naked at parties, most of his friends have known him as a confirmed pussyhound.

Except, not entirely. When we first met and he found out I was gay, he began to flirt with me. This actually happens a lot with straight guys, so I didn't think much about it, although since he was crazy hot I certainly didn't discourage it. Then one day he got kicked out of a bar for being WAY too drunk, and I got in a taxi with him to get him to my place. Out of nowhere, he leaned forward to make out with me. We made out all the way home. Then I got him into my house, we made out some more, played with each other's cocks, and then he asked me to suck him off. And I did. For a good half hour I sucked him, and he fucked my face, sweet talking me and telling me I owned his cock now and other weird things. He was REALLY close to cumming, but other roommates arrived before we could finish.

The next day he told me not to tell anyone, that it was just a one time thing, and I was fine with that. But then a few days later he got drunk again and pulled me into the bathroom at the bar and asked me to suck him off again. I sucked his dick for about ten minutes, and then we made out and jerked each other off until we both came. Then we cleaned up, rejoined our group, and he took a girl home.

Soon after, it turned out that he was admitting to people when he got black-out drunk that we messed around. He weirded out some homophobic friends because of it, and while he didn't blame it on me, he pointedly avoided hanging out with me. He sort of admitted once that it wasn't just because he didn't want people to think he was gay, but because he knew that if we got drunk together something would happen.

Since then, he's avoided calling or texting me, ignored my few calls or texts, and while we're Facebook friends, he ignores any post I make. But on the super rare night that we happen to end up at the same bar, he gets crazy drunk and - between hunting for pussy and getting me to wingman for him - he sneaks me into bathrooms with him for handjobs and blowjobs (and he's tried to fuck me, but the only reason it never happens is I'm not sure I'd be able to handle his huge dick).

Look - I have no illusions of marrying him or anything. He's confused (to say the least) and he's never gonna be happy with his gay side. But he clearly wants to mess around when he can drink up the courage, and I have no intention of refusing him. The problem is that it's almost impossible to find him now - he goes to a different club every night, and our mutual friend moved away so I never get invited out.

So, question: how can I either 1) convince him to let me join him at clubs again, or 2) just figure out where he is and meet him there? I know once I can get in the same room with him it's a matter of hours before we're doing it again, but I need to figure out how to get there first.

 

[intheric]

well, to be honest dude, I wouldn't stalk him out, for the lack of a better word. Trying to find him, or be where hes gonna be, doesn't sound like it would be a good thing. And I don't think you will even convince him to do anything that's hes scared of doing sober. Even tho it sounds like you guys have had some crazy hot times, that might be a thing of the past.

Now, for what I would do, is try getting him alone and asking him whats been going on. If you do see him at a bar or club, go outside and walk around the block. Just make sure you can get back in. Keep some extra cash available too if you need to pay to get back in. Cover him too. Or buy him another drink. Try to make light of the situation and make a joke of it. Tell him he doesn't have to be blacked out drunk to fuck around. Tell him that your ass feels a lot better when he can feel it too. Or you blow better sober. HAHA. but don't confront his impending homosexuality. Tell him "between you and I....." and let him get it off his mind, if he wants too. And try to give him a hug. And not a weak one. Like a full on, manly type, big ol bear hug. The one that says "its ok", that actually worked for me once. Silence is golden too. He might not say anything. Don't cut him off if he does. If he wants to talk, he will probably be at a loss for words. Just keep your eyes on him, and coax him by focusing on him. Show him your listening. He'll probably run off and get drunk, or whatever it is that confused straight guys do. And keep a pack of cigs on you too. Even tho you two might not smoke, a cig at this point will calm him down. If not, sell it to some other dude for 4 bucks. LOL

Also, normally when one gets "blacked out drunk", you normally dont remember things. I know I dont. And for him to tell his friends that you have messed around when hes in that state, makes me think that hes not as drunk as he makes out to be.... plus theres whiskey dick too. But thats just me.

 

[greymask]

well, to be honest dude, I wouldn't stalk him out, for the lack of a better word. Trying to find him, or be where hes gonna be, doesn't sound like it would be a good thing. And I don't think you will even convince him to do anything that's hes scared of doing sober. Even tho it sounds like you guys have had some crazy hot times, that might be a thing of the past.

Now, for what I would do, is try getting him alone and asking him whats been going on. If you do see him at a bar or club, go outside and walk around the block. Just make sure you can get back in. Keep some extra cash available too if you need to pay to get back in. Cover him too. Or buy him another drink. Try to make light of the situation and make a joke of it. Tell him he doesn't have to be blacked out drunk to fuck around. Tell him that your ass feels a lot better when he can feel it too. Or you blow better sober. HAHA. but don't confront his impending homosexuality. Tell him "between you and I....." and let him get it off his mind, if he wants too. And try to give him a hug. And not a weak one. Like a full on, manly type, big ol bear hug. The one that says "its ok", that actually worked for me once. Silence is golden too. He might not say anything. Don't cut him off if he does. If he wants to talk, he will probably be at a loss for words. Just keep your eyes on him, and coax him by focusing on him. Show him your listening. He'll probably run off and get drunk, or whatever it is that confused straight guys do. And keep a pack of cigs on you too. Even tho you two might not smoke, a cig at this point will calm him down. If not, sell it to some other dude for 4 bucks. LOL

I've tried talking to him about this when he's sober, and even when he's just buzzed. He gets EXTREMELY uncomfortable, and immediate and rapidly changes the subject. It's clear he doesn't want to discuss it. I've gone through all that. I think, frankly, he's okay with getting so drunk that it happens, but he doesn't want to have to think about what it means.

Also, normally when one gets "blacked out drunk", you normally dont remember things. I know I dont. And for him to tell his friends that you have messed around when hes in that state, makes me think that hes not as drunk as he makes out to be.... plus theres whiskey dick too. But thats just me.

This is very true, and something I've considered. For a guy who's "black-out drunk", he sure is perpetually rock hard and ready to go. (One of his ways of getting me is to go into a stall in the bathroom, pee, then turn around and show me that he's super-hard as he quietly says "Hey . . . come in here.") And his memories seem hazy, but he does seem to remember. So maybe he's remembering but on some level of denial.

 

[Scottyboi]

honestly? sounds to me like he's in denial and your probably not gonna change that.

Best advice - obviously keep it to urself or he's gonna stop talking to you but i'd not hunt him down at bars.

Go out and when you see him consider it an extra treat for that night if it happens.

Eventually he's either gonna keep fucking you til he realizes whats going on or he's going to keep fucking you on the side while he tries to build "a normal life"

 

[LGNTexas]

I would just try to forget all about him, enjoy the memories and look for someone uncomplicated who will give back. Sounds like a few frat brothers of mine who used to get drunk, want me to service them after a night out at bars, then the next morning they would say, "I was so drunk last night don't even remember coming back to the house!" Yet they were not so drunk as to get rock hard and cum. However, one night a guy from a rival frat invited me to his room and since he only saw his girlfriend who studied at another college on weekends, I could count on his mid-week "invitations". But one night we both got caught by his Fiji brother and both of us became outcasts at our respective frats. I soon overdosed on sleeping pills, and thus got kicked out of college for mental health reasons (I was gay and this was the 60's). Since I left that school, have not heard from about 98% of the "brothers forever" over the many years, Christmas cards not answered, etc. I don't go to class reunions as I am "dead" to most (but may make a few nervous in front of their wives). The guys I serviced (they never reciprocated to get me off) were all varsity jocks, all got married and led successful lives (one's son just got elected to the U.S. Congress as a Republican). It still hurts that good friends once upon a time turned on me so quickly. I could "out" about a half dozen of them for coming on to me but I just let bygones be bygones.

 

[blackbeltninja]

I'm torn, here.

In a way, when it happens you have a good thing going. But it doesn't sound like it happens nearly often enough or on your terms enough to sound like it will ever be a good thing.

I'm not sure I'd put up with his shit, though. Perhaps a pointed text or facebook message saying something like "I'm happy to give you a hand when you're horny, but not if you're going to pretend I don't exist until you're drunk."

I mean, friends with benefits surely involves being friends If he's going to come off like a twat and treat you like a 2nd-class citizen, then I certainly hope you enough enough self-respect to tell him to fuck right off.

-d-

 

[greymask]

Again (because it's obviously not coming across) . . . I'm at peace with being "used". Yeah, he's not been the best friend. I don't care. I just wanna fuck around with him again. If he's gonna use me, why can't I use him?

 

[bijockdude]

Buddy I would put on the charm for a distance and ignore him. Shine in front of him with other people to create that desire from him. Be near but at a distance and when he leaves drunk follow him out or let him make the first move

 

[cinnamontea]

depends on what you want.

if you find him attractive and you know what his deal is - keep on being his sex toy on the side, cause you know he might be bi but leaning emotionally towards women, and sexually to men. and expect nothing more, you'e just his sexual outlet, and heey if you're happy with that you can have your own little brokeback mountain story going on.

or you could ignore him and move one cause he'll never commit. even if there's a shred of hope that he will explore his gay side and be committal towards you (which i doubt it since he cares about what his homophobic friends thinks) then you're in for a long ride tryign to ocnvince him. but if that failed, you'll waste a hell of a time and have a major heartbreak.

you can just take it for what it is. a good fuck relief from a "str8" dude. it's a fantasy for a number of gay men here.

 

[Diodorus]

Sounds like you've got a loser and a user on your hands. Seems like that's an inherent trait amongst that type. Not to mention the crazy train that is probably running around in his head..... A lot of those handsome fuckers know how hot they are and play it to the hilt.
If you are content with the situation go for it. Make yourself some good vids of yourselves while you are at it so you have jo material when he wants to be aloof.

I can only go by what you have told us and the guy seems like a prick.
There are plenty of decent guys out there that would love your attention. You deserve to be respected and I don't sense this one has much of that for you. Just my opinion..

Soooo,, ride that train if you are having fun but keep an eye out just in case it jumps the rails..

 

[Boneddude]

I say get on with what you want in life. if he is horny and wants to find you then he can and he can make the effort. Don't guy into his game.

 

[looseliam]

Soon after, it turned out that he was admitting to people when he got black-out drunk that we messed around. He weirded out some homophobic friends because of it

He was floating a test balloon. He didn't like the reaction, so he's going to stay in the closet.

Wait for him to come to you. I would not expect any more than drunken hook-ups.