Straight Guys

[G-Lexington]

Hey, Coreeeeeey, and welcome to JUB! Your questions/problems are pretty common around here, so let's see if we can tackle them one by one.

>>>how can you tell if someone is gay or not without actually asking them?

You can't. There's no "gay directory" to look them up in. You can't tell by the way they look, the way they dress, the way they talk, the way they act. You might get hints one way or the other, but that's it. You can look them up on myspace or facebook or some other site to see if they say there, but there's nothing stopping them from lying or not mentioning. Asking is the best way. And even that's not foolproof - people can lie, after all.

>>>is it common for straight guys to engage in gay intercourse?

No. Some straight guys might try it out once or twice to experiment, but it's not very common. Anything more than that, they're bisexual. The odds are definitely not in your favor. If they claim "straight", accept that and find someone else.

>>>do you guys also have frequent crushes?

I hardly ever do. From what I can tell, I'm in the minority, though.

Lex

 

[strataboy19]

Hey, Coreeeeeey, and welcome to JUB! Your questions/problems are pretty common around here, so let's see if we can tackle them one by one.

>>>how can you tell if someone is gay or not without actually asking them?

You can't. There's no "gay directory" to look them up in. You can't tell by the way they look, the way they dress, the way they talk, the way they act. You might get hints one way or the other, but that's it. You can look them up on myspace or facebook or some other site to see if they say there, but there's nothing stopping them from lying or not mentioning. Asking is the best way. And even that's not foolproof - people can lie, after all.

>>>is it common for straight guys to engage in gay intercourse?

No. Some straight guys might try it out once or twice to experiment, but it's not very common. Anything more than that, they're bisexual. The odds are definitely not in your favor. If they claim "straight", accept that and find someone else.

>>>do you guys also have frequent crushes?

I hardly ever do. From what I can tell, I'm in the minority, though.

Lex

That's kind of interesting. When I was in the closet, I had a crush on almost every guy in sight. Now that I'm out...it's quite the opposite. I'm having a hard time finding even one single guy these days to crush on.

It's interesting how suddenly when I openly accept liking men they sort of lost some of their appeal. I wonder what's up with that?

 

[kalkorrigan99]

Believe Me Coreeeey I Have Tremendous Sympathy For Ya. I Am Crushing Badly on a Straight Guy Right Now and Everytime I See Him and His Girlfriend it is like a Knife through my heart.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>I see him around girls and messing around with them sort of flirting with them and it like WHY CANT THAT BE ME!

Because you've got a penis.

Lex

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>You know it isn't that simple to dismiss it like that Lex.

It is precisely that simple. The fundamental reason that the straight guys have no interest in me is because I'm male. This doesn't mean that if I were female, I'd definitely stand a chance, but I'm failing Filter #1.

Again, though, I can't say as I've ever had a major crush on a straight guy. A passing fancy, perhaps, with a "Hm - it'd be cool if he were on my team". But nothing resembling what I keep reading about here. The weird thing is I'm not sure whether I should be happy or unhappy about this.

Lex

 

[kalkorrigan99]

Thank you guys for the replies, and to kalkorrigan99, I see him around girls and messing around with them sort of flirting with them and it like WHY CANT THAT BE ME!

Exactly or Why is he with her she is not good enough for him

 

[BabiGayPimp]

It's very healthy to have little "crushes" on all kinds of guys, so long as you're conscious of where fantasy ends and reality begins.

When you have a "crush," there's a neurological process taking place your inside your head that increases your sense of well being, stengthens your immune system, floods your nervous system with "happy" peptides and gives you inspiration to work out, listen to soothing music, and eat chocolate with at least 70% cocoa.

Crushes are a good thing, and we'd be much less happy without them!

Where straight guys are concerned, see if there's something else you can get out of this, like friendship.

Perhaps, eventually you'll have enough of a rapport to ask for an "upgrade" of that relationship!

Until then, keep on having crushes. At least one or two new ones a day!

 

[thermodynamics]

Gee, I've been there, done that.

You just have to tell yourself "He's Straight. Nothing's going to happen." And that's it. End of story. If you catch yourself thinking about him, think about your grandparents having sex...at age 90.

 

[breatheH20]

Ah, straight guys, gotta love 'em lol..

I know how you feel Corey, but it is true what Lex says. You have a penis, it won't happen.

It'd be healthier for you to have that mindset, otherwise it'll drive you nuts, just like it did me for the last 2 years; I had a crush on a friend (my roommate, yeah, bad idea), and I really had to bite the bullet and let it go, or else I would have driven myself in the ground.

 

[Soilwork]

Well, what I'm trying to ask is, how can you tell if someone is gay or not without actually asking them,

you can become their friend and have them tell you themselves. Past that, I got nothing.

and is it common for straight guys to engage in gay intercourse ( lol)?

no. Please stop wathcing all those silly Gay4Pay sites. They're giving you a warped idea of what straight guys do.

Im sure you do, but do you guys also have frequent crushes?

Not anymore. When I did it was because I hadn't put myself out on the dating circuit yet. And I'm never into straight men anymore. Just no fun to be into somoene who's never going to be into you.

 

[erobert]

For your first question of trying to tell if someone is gay, follow your intuition. Some guys who I thought were straight turn out to be bi or gay, others who I thought were gay were straight. For me personally I look at their eyes (the pupil) and sometimes I can tell just by the look they give me (or multiple looks). I'm not always right though due to wishful thinking. Again follow your intuition.

Best to be freinds with someone you're interested in and then you'll get a better idea.

For the second question straight guys usually don't engage in intercourse with men. If they do then their not straight. Lex summed it up well.

If you see a straight guy you have a crush on try to look for a gay or bi guy who has similar attributes/ looks to that straight guy. Then you'll have a better chance of mutual attraction.

 

[pausanias_usa]

Some guys seem to have more crushes than others; one gay friend of mine ONLY had crushes on straight guys (I constantly told him he would be happier banging his head against the wall). I don't think it is a coincidence he had a streak of obsessive-compulsiveness that was fairly detectable.

It seems to me the mind, like a previous poster stated, has a tendency to crush on any "available" object -- not available like "gay," just one that's always in sight. So if you hang around a bunch of straights all the time, you'll get straight guy crushes.

So don't limit yourself by only hanging around straight guys (btw, I also feel gays shouldn't limit themselves by always hanging around with gays, but that's a different issue).

 

[jebbly10]

Oh gosh i'm always into the straight guys....some gay guys are hott and i'll be into them for a while but I only find myself attracted to straight guys....bi or masculine gay guys are rare where i am at...haven't really met any.