Straight Male Friends...

[Love_chair]

Yeah I 2nd what most people say he was just a friend to you thats all he was a friend nothing more and most every gay guy has a crush on a straight guy atleast once in there life it's just natural but take this and learn from it and grow on the fact that liking straight guys can almost always lead you down the road to heartbreak I wish you the best

 

[rareboy]

So, I just told my "fag hag" about my feelings and I told her that I don't want anything to do with him anymore. He's all hers and I won't interfere. She told me that she never wanted to hurt me, but I'm thinking to myself that the damage is already done.

What once was a great friendship has come to an end. I'm not going to cry about it either, because if my friendship meant ANYTHING to him, then he wouldn't treat me like he has been. I'M DONE AND I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

Maybe he'll realize one day why he doesn't have that many close friends.

You might want to do it without quite as much drama next time. All you had to do was take the high road and withdraw from the obsessive schoolgirl friendship you had with him.

By carrying on the way you have, you've likely made yourself look foolish and needy. Your fag hag, as you refer to her, and your xvbbf are probably thinking 'Sheesh, what a drama queen.'

 

[netwire]

I can understand how you feel, but one thing that you should not do is change who you are or how you act to your friends because of this situation. Continue to talk to your friend as if nothing has changed, but if you find he does not have time for you lay off a bit - let him make the moves of calling you. If he does not call, it's not because he don't like you as a friend but just that he's preocupied with his new girlfriend. There are plenty of fishes out there in the ocean, I'd suggest you look for one with bright colors .... maybe a bright blowfish

 

[hotdog1846]

What once was a great friendship has come to an end. I'm not going to cry about it either, because if my friendship meant ANYTHING to him, then he wouldn't treat me like he has been. I'M DONE AND I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

Maybe he'll realize one day why he doesn't have that many close friends.

Aww ... I'm sorry to see this. You probably meant "not gonna cry about it" rhetorically, but ... go ahead and have a good cry. If the friendship is really over (which it might, or might not be) that's painful and is a loss. At least, it would be to me.

rareboy, I should take ownership of the term "fag hag" in this thread -- I was the first to use it, in a lighthearted context.

 

[JackFTwist]

Why end a friendship because someone you claim to love has found love elsewhere? You are the first by any means to have a straight male friend with whom you were infatuated who gets involved with a woman. He doesn't owe you anything nor should you demand it, and what is with this "I'll stop being his friend and one day he'll realize..." I suspect you are not his friend at all. He is straight - what did you expect, him to change his whole life to fulfill your wet dreams? He's straight. You certainly aren't out there being happy for him when he is happy. Many of us have been through it - and I loved my best friend's first wife, was his best man, and I married him and his second wife. He found happiness and I am happy that he found it - and I have cherished his friendship all these years.

It's not about you, it's about him, and her, if you are really their friend. Any pain you feel is about you, and hopefully you'll see that and recover before you destroy any friendships.

 

[Treborf]

So, I just told my "fag hag" about my feelings and I told her that I don't want anything to do with him anymore. He's all hers and I won't interfere. She told me that she never wanted to hurt me, but I'm thinking to myself that the damage is already done.

What once was a great friendship has come to an end. I'm not going to cry about it either, because if my friendship meant ANYTHING to him, then he wouldn't treat me like he has been. I'M DONE AND I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

Maybe he'll realize one day why he doesn't have that many close friends.

What are you mad about? You were the one who developed feeling for a guy who you knew wouldn't return them. And now you get pissy because a straight guy would rather spend time with his girlfriend than you? Your friends are not the ones at fault.

 

[Treborf]

OMG,
For the last time, what's wrong with me ending this friendship? Can I atleast have some self-respect and choose not to be involved in this "friendship". I will not be his f'n 2nd option ALL THE TIME. This friendship is NOT based on his freaking schedule.

There's nothing wrong with you wanting to move on and if you think the only way you can do that is to sever the friendship, then by all means do so. But don't blame him for the feelings that you developed for a straight guy.

As for you not wanting to have to plan around his schedule, well, that all depends on how much you value the friendship. If you really want to make it work, you'll understand he has new priorities and adjust accordingly. But if you don't care about him all that much then, sure, drop him. Just don't take your hurt feelings out on your friends.

 

[LateNite85]

Try turning the situation around. What if your 'fag-hag' fell for you and you hit it off with her best guy friend? If you weren't attracted to her, you wouldn't want her to stop being your friend just because she had a crush you, would you?

I fell for a straight friend of mine once. And once was all it took for me to realize that I was going down a dead end street. Next time you begin to start liking a straight guy, remember: straight=hands off.

I'd say you shouldn't end the friendship with this guy. He's your friend. I'm sure he would miss being your friend. But you have to remember that his sexual orientation is not his fault (just like yours). I know it's tough.

Here's a hint to get over your crush: Try to find character flaws, bad habits or anything negative about this guy. We all have them. Remind yourself of his flaws when you start daydreaming about him to keep your crush in check. You'll get over your crush and go back to being his friend eventually. Just remember: don't blame him and don't blame yourself. Just focus on getting over it so you can be his friend.