Straight?

[BiBtm64]

Interesting post - I relate bigtime but on the opposite spectrum. Always was gay but have really been into women since 2020 or so? It's definitely a weird struggle. I told myself this is the year that I'm going to act on it. We'll see.

Interesting! I look forward to hearing about your experiences

 

[firsttimeagain]

It's a struggle

From experience on this end is not going away for me. Yes, a long, long time and I’ve decided not to run from it anymore. I was where you are sometime ago, not admitting it to myself. But, admitting it to myself has really been amazing. Of course I’m not there yet because I have not had that experience yet. But I used to think it was not going to happen and it was just fantasy. Now, since I have said the words out loud to myself and in my heart and mind, I am gay… I know it’s just a matter of time because I am more open to it and looking at the world around me in a different way. It used to be hiding behind something, now though it is still my secret, I am more ready than I ever have been. I know I’m gonna find it because I’m not scared anymore. When it presents itself, I will not let the opportunity pass. I let that opportunity pass once or twice and I regret it. I know it is not going to be an easy journey but now I am on that journey and it feels amazing. I know I’m going around in circles here talking about it, but it is very liberating knowing that I accept what I’ve always known. You may have that same realization as I did when I realized it’s not going away. I look forward to updating everyone on it when it finally happens…

 

[curioussss5]

Thanks for your answer.

Because of the ingrained stigmas and the environment in which we all grew up, a lot of gay/bi men have internalized homophobia fighting with innate attractions. That will fuck you up.

If part of you is afraid of part of you, you get dissonance, and all kinds of neurosis and justifications about the dissonance. What do you actually "feel" about men? Have you ever wondered what it would be like to fall for a guy? Do your relationships with women feel like something is missing, off, or unsatisfying? Have you ever had a crush on a male friend?

Exploring your sexuality should not be fear inducing. Unfortunately, thanks to the bigotries of eons of haters there are all kinds of mental baggage we all grew up absorbing and they are the primary interference that impairs our ability to know ourselves.

Following your attractions should not trigger emotional angst. That is what the haters put into your head. Gay or not, best abandon it.

Ask yourself, what EXACTLY is it that that you're afraid of?

What do you actually "feel" about men? Have you ever wondered what it would be like to fall for a guy? Do your relationships with women feel like something is missing, off, or unsatisfying? Have you ever had a crush on a male friend?

I’m not sure what i actually ‘feel’ about men. In a deep part of myself there’s attraction i think but no, i have never wondered what it would be like to fall for a guy. my relationships with women DO feel like there’s something missing and have had some moments where it just didn’t feel right. sexually, i would say i felt pressure to perform and am relieved every time it goes ok. i’m not certain but i think i’ve had a crush on one of my male friends, way back before i even acknowledged this side of myself. i was somewhat jealous when he got a girlfriend and started having sex. have also had spontaneous erections around friends in some circumstances.

 

[curioussss5]

Because of the ingrained stigmas and the environment in which we all grew up, a lot of gay/bi men have internalized homophobia fighting with innate attractions. That will fuck you up.

If part of you is afraid of part of you, you get dissonance, and all kinds of neurosis and justifications about the dissonance. What do you actually "feel" about men? Have you ever wondered what it would be like to fall for a guy? Do your relationships with women feel like something is missing, off, or unsatisfying? Have you ever had a crush on a male friend?

Exploring your sexuality should not be fear inducing. Unfortunately, thanks to the bigotries of eons of haters there are all kinds of mental baggage we all grew up absorbing and they are the primary interference that impairs our ability to know ourselves.

Following your attractions should not trigger emotional angst. That is what the haters put into your head. Gay or not, best abandon it.

Ask yourself, what EXACTLY is it that that you're afraid of?

Because of the ingrained stigmas and the environment in which we all grew up, a lot of gay/bi men have internalized homophobia fighting with innate attractions. That will fuck you up.

If part of you is afraid of part of you, you get dissonance, and all kinds of neurosis and justifications about the dissonance. What do you actually "feel" about men? Have you ever wondered what it would be like to fall for a guy? Do your relationships with women feel like something is missing, off, or unsatisfying? Have you ever had a crush on a male friend?

Exploring your sexuality should not be fear inducing. Unfortunately, thanks to the bigotries of eons of haters there are all kinds of mental baggage we all grew up absorbing and they are the primary interference that impairs our ability to know ourselves.

Following your attractions should not trigger emotional angst. That is what the haters put into your head. Gay or not, best abandon it.

Ask yourself, what

Ask yourself, what EXACTLY is it that that you're afraid of?

i think the judgment of other people is possibly what im afraid of. disappointing people that would think differently of me and losing my identity i suppose. it does feel scary.

 

[KaraBulut]

i think the judgment of other people is possibly what im afraid of. disappointing people that would think differently of me and losing my identity i suppose. it does feel scary.

One of life's lessons is that you're always going to disappointment someone.

As you get older, hopefully you start prioritizing your needs and wants over those of other people and you only care about the opinions of people in your life who really matter.

 

[firsttimeagain]

What scares you about being with a guy? You think of it, you dream of it, why not give yourself a treat and do it?

With the right guy, you could take things a step at a time, at your pace, and enjoy. There's nothing to be scared about. It's just two men enjoying what comes naturally.

Picking and choosing a few quotes because they speak to me and I hope it helps others as much as me.

I’ve struggled with being scared of making that leap of faith. Though I’ve always thought about it exclusively, Yes, I've dreamed about it since a very young age. Literally and completely in my fantasies. So, my revaluation for where I am is to give myself that treat and to do it, finally I am there in my mind. Though I have always wanted it, it is time. Admitting it to myself “ I am gay”, that has changed everything, I’m not scared of it anymore. I’ve always thought, with the right guy, a step at a time, at our pace…looking forward to enjoying every minute over and over again. It feels really good not to be scared anymore. I know I’ll be nervous, but in a good way…

I used to have sex with women, back when I was in the closet, and it was fine. That didn't make me straight or Bi. Orientation is only partially about the sex; the other part is the emotional attraction.

Yes I used to have sex with women when I was in the closet and yes it was fine. But, I always thought about having sex with a guy even during sex with women. So, I knew I was not straight. Or even bi, because I really didn’t want the sex with females. Especially after knowing I could not stop thinking about sex with a man during sex with a woman. It wasn’t just a one time thing, it was every time. I knew I wanted sex with a man exclusively.

The emotional attraction is something I wasn’t sure of. That’s because I have never been there, remember I was scared of that. Now that I’ve admitted that I am gay and know I’m gay, that all of the sudden has changed for me too. “ With the right guy” that emotional connection is what is the most exciting part of what I want the most. The sex is a given at this point, I’ve always wanted that. But, the emotional attraction is the most exciting part of a relationship. I look so forward to giving it my all emotionally and I know the sex will be the icing on the top.

What do you actually "feel" about men? Have you ever wondered what it would be like to fall for a guy? Do your relationships with women feel like something is missing, off, or unsatisfying? Have you ever had a crush on a male friend?

What do I actually “feel” about men? Some I am not attracted to at all, just like women early on. Have I wondered what it would be like to fall for a guy? Absolutely YES. it’s all relationships with women in the past. I always felt like something was missing, and definitely unsatisfying. As time has past, it was crystal clear that something was missing and unsatisfying. That’s why I know now and admit to myself what I wish I would have admitted years ago. I was in denial for too long.

I can’t tell you how relieved I am to finally come to the realization that I am gay. It’s the most gratifying feeling that I ever thought was possible. And remember, I’ve still never had sex with a man, yet. I know that is going to change because now I am open with my feelings. I have not come completely out to the world. I’m not sure that is necessary? We will see as time goes by. When I find the right guy, then we will let that unfold as it will. Others will figure it out when they see us together all the time. I may not advertise it and shout it from the mountain top, but I’m not going to hide it either.

Have I ever had a crush on a male friend? No not with a friend, I’ve just never met that guy. But, I have had a crush on an acquaintance that I used to see from time to time. Does that count? I was also extremely attracted to a guy I used to see at my gym a few years ago. Remember, I was scared before. If it were now, I would not be scared to let him know I am interested. It was a physical attraction in the shower with this guy I used to see three days a week. I was so physically attracted to him it was crazy. Beautiful body and his ass I could not stop looking at. And his cock was oh so delicious looking. Very similar body type as me and our cocks are very much the same. Of course, we were soft for the most part. lol. We talked in passing and in the shower and getting dressed in front of each other. What a missed opportunity. I was too scared to let him know. Of course he knew I was physically attracted to him. I had to cover up my semi hard cock numerous times before it got fully erect. Maybe I should have let that happen too. We would even walk out together sometimes. I was a dumbass to not at least let him know. Or ask him to lunch or for drinks or something. Today, in my new open realization of who I am, I would not let it pass without trying. SMH. I only wish I would’ve been were I am now in my mind and my heart.

I used to fantasize about him while masturbating and to be honest, I still do. I even had some pretty vivid dreams of us together. Unfortunately, I never see him anymore. But, It’s still in my mind. Thanks for allowing me to elaborate and going around in circles here like a broken record. It has been very helpful for me to be here in my journey and reading other comments and interacting with others. Truly, it’s probably the reason I am now where I am in my journey. I’ve crossed some very difficult bridges and I am grateful to know and realize I’m not alone in my journey. I hope my story and my rambling about my quest can help someone else…

 

[Kbtha0]

There are many very open people out there that will take various steps with you, if you choose to want to do something with a guy. It may take you a little while but if you can connect with someone on a friendship level, you could potentially explore a part of you that you want to do. You then can decide whether or not you want to continue that. You won't know until you try it. Sometimes our fantasies and thoughts are high enough but when it happens in reality, it may not be what you think it out to be or it could even be better than what you'd expect.

I believe there are many straight men out there that still have their love for women, girlfriends and a wife but still have sex with men here and there. Sometimes there's just a connection between males that we can't explain. It's like a comfort or just family like because they're simply just men.

 

[curioussss5]

There are many very open people out there that will take various steps with you, if you choose to want to do something with a guy. It may take you a little while but if you can connect with someone on a friendship level, you could potentially explore a part of you that you want to do. You then can decide whether or not you want to continue that. You won't know until you try it. Sometimes our fantasies and thoughts are high enough but when it happens in reality, it may not be what you think it out to be or it could even be better than what you'd expect.

I believe there are many straight men out there that still have their love for women, girlfriends and a wife but still have sex with men here and there. Sometimes there's just a connection between males that we can't explain. It's like a comfort or just family like because they're simply just men.

Thank you. Yes, i’m getting closer to at least trying something with a man. I’m a bit nervous about people finding out so am not going to date just yet. Has anyone tried sniffies? I was thinking about meeting someone on there for some fun just to dip my toe in the water. Is that a decent plan?

 

[Kbtha0]

Thank you. Yes, i’m getting closer to at least trying something with a man. I’m a bit nervous about people finding out so am not going to date just yet. Has anyone tried sniffies? I was thinking about meeting someone on there for some fun just to dip my toe in the water. Is that a decent plan?

Dating is a really big commitment. You have to seek your comfort with men first or I even if you decide that maybe it wasn't right for you.

Sniffies is an app and I believe the people in these want exactly what they want. I don't know how that's going to be well for you if you're still trying to figure out what you would like to do, but it doesn't hurt to be honest on the app! You'll never know if you don't put yourself out there and be honest about what you're seeking!

 

[BiBtm64]

Thank you. Yes, i’m getting closer to at least trying something with a man. I’m a bit nervous about people finding out so am not going to date just yet. Has anyone tried sniffies? I was thinking about meeting someone on there for some fun just to dip my toe in the water. Is that a decent plan?

I think that's a very decent plan. Sniffies and other apps will have a lot of guys who are also just looking, thinking of dipping their toes in, picky/choosy guys, and guys just playing games. You might find them a bit frustrating and you need to be patient. There are many reasons why any two guys on an app are not compatible: not looking for compatible experiences, not attracted, neither can host, mismatch of safe sex preferences, and a whole lot more. If someone is not right for you, move on. Likewise if you get turned down (or ignored - most don't have the manners to decline politely these days), move on, it's no reflection on you.

Be honest in your profile about being inexperienced and curious, and be specific about what you'd like to try. Not everyone does anal, and you're not under any obligation to do it first up, or at all unless you want to. You can start with just playing and getting used to being with a man. If you do want to do anything that involves penetration, decide on your safe sex options and stick to your limits. If I had a dollar for every guy who claimed to be "clean" and yet insisted on fucking bareback, I'd be a rich man. Don't do something you're not comfortable with, or you might regret later, out of desperation.

You can try discreet meetings and test whether it's right for you before diving in and dating. Nobody needs to find out, but you should be honest with guys that you're seeking casual meets and not looking to date.

 

[curioussss5]

I think that's a very decent plan. Sniffies and other apps will have a lot of guys who are also just looking, thinking of dipping their toes in, picky/choosy guys, and guys just playing games. You might find them a bit frustrating and you need to be patient. There are many reasons why any two guys on an app are not compatible: not looking for compatible experiences, not attracted, neither can host, mismatch of safe sex preferences, and a whole lot more. If someone is not right for you, move on. Likewise if you get turned down (or ignored - most don't have the manners to decline politely these days), move on, it's no reflection on you.

Be honest in your profile about being inexperienced and curious, and be specific about what you'd like to try. Not everyone does anal, and you're not under any obligation to do it first up, or at all unless you want to. You can start with just playing and getting used to being with a man. If you do want to do anything that involves penetration, decide on your safe sex options and stick to your limits. If I had a dollar for every guy who claimed to be "clean" and yet insisted on fucking bareback, I'd be a rich man. Don't do something you're not comfortable with, or you might regret later, out of desperation.

You can try discreet meetings and test whether it's right for you before diving in and dating. Nobody needs to find out, but you should be honest with guys that you're seeking casual meets and not looking to date.

yes. i’m more looking to see how i feel with a man at first. if it feels really good and im comfortable with it then i think i’ll progress. i think i’ll start by either just jerking off with a guy, jerking them off or oral. don’t mind if im giving or receiving really. i’m excited to try. will keep you updated here.

 

[BiBtm64]

yes. i’m more looking to see how i feel with a man at first. if it feels really good and im comfortable with it then i think i’ll progress. i think i’ll start by either just jerking off with a guy, jerking them off or oral. don’t mind if im giving or receiving really. i’m excited to try. will keep you updated here.

That's a good way to start, test out how you feel being naked with a guy, feel a cock in your hands or mouth, and let him feel or suck yours. These are exciting times coming up for you!

 

[curioussss5]

I know I said I wanted to start slow but any thoughts about if I’m really feeling it and want him to fuck me?

 

[curioussss5]

I’ve had a drink and might go for it tonight. Ha ha

 

[BiBtm64]

I know I said I wanted to start slow but any thoughts about if I’m really feeling it and want him to fuck me?

No problem, if you want to be fucked, go for it. My advice is to be prepared. Get clean, use a toy to relax. Have lube and condoms with you. Have fun.