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MrCreative

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Would you sacrifice some of your needs and desires to be with a guy?

That is where my problem is...this one guy that i have known for awhile wants to date me, but I do not feel a deep connection between us. I really do not want to hurt him, but one thing that is lacking between us is intelligent conversations about music, writing, or whatevaaa. lol.
How would you handle this situation?:help:

<3 Sky
 
You could go one of two ways:

1) You feel there is a lack of intelligent conversation. Well, you could try to initiate it. Talk about the music and writing and see if he has something interesting to say. Maybe you just haven't made the "deep connection" yet.

2) If you're already sure you just aren't feelin' it, tell him "I'm just not feelin' it in that way." No reason to be harsh, and you can still hang out (or not, whatever), but tell him a relationship just isn't what you're interested in with him.
 
If you've already tried to talk to him and you still feel no connection, don't date him. Is he shy or nervous around you? If he really has a thing for you, he might just get tongue tied around you. In that case, try talking to him and put him at ease.
If you don't want him as a boyfriend, but there is a strong attraction, you have a potential "fuck buddy", if that's something you both can handle. Otherwise, keep him as a friend.
 
How would you handle this situation?

Tell him the truth gently.

Just say that you don't think that being boyfriends would work out and you don't want to risk losing a friend.
 
By all means tell him the truth, in the end you will have to anyways when things go sour and you are miserable.
 
You might try going out on a "non-physical" date - one where you go and hang out and chat. During that time, you can see if you can get him to start chatting a bit more. If you can't, well, there's your answer.

Lex
 
Can you have an intelligent conversation about anything? If you've known him for a while you must have some things in common and be able to talk about something. If you don't feel a deep connection then it's probably best to stay friends but remember that you'll probably never find a guy who shares exactly the same interests as you.
 
thanks for the responses.. :)
I might go on a date with him tonight and I will see what happens from there.
When it comes to guys I find myself attracted to ones that are really smart and ambitious. I wish I was not like that sometimes because some guys that I talk to are so amazing.. Its just that conversation isnt enough. :/
 
^^^Don't feel guilty about who you're attracted to (or not). Those things are very individualistic and you probably couldn't change it if you wanted to anyway.

At any rate, I would definitely not advise dating someone you don't click with, or with whom there's no spark or mutual interests. Not only do those attempts tend to go no where, but if the desire is one-sided (he wants to date you) then he could get hurt in the end.

Let us know how the date goes. Maybe there's something there afterall? It'd be interesting to know why he wants to date you when he must also perceive different interests, etc.?

Anyway, good luck!
 
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