Stupid me

[Lucas07]

Hey guys. I haven't posted in a while and just been lurking, but now I am in need of the JUB community's wisdom once again...

I am in a relationship with a wonderful, amazing man. I love him dearly.
We live together and everything is just wonderful. We have no problems. No drama. nothing. It's like, everyday is a vacation. Were sweet with each other. Romantic. Relaxed. It feels so good.It's perfect.

So here's the stupid part
the other night a friend was coming over to visit, and he had a friend who I got introduced to.
We all got really drunk, and to cut the story short, me and this guy did something while completely drunk. I know it's completely my fault, i should've avoided drinking so much and the situation. I feel so foolish and horrible. I have such a wonderful man.. he deserves better!

It also doesn't help that I'm paranoid, and my friend has a lot of common friends with my boyfriend (I think he has an idea that something happened). I know I can trust him and not cause drama, and the other guy says its no big deal, he's discreet, and says its just sex.

So I'm contemplating if I should come clean to my boyfriend. What happened really meant nothing to me. absolutely nothing. That, plus the alcohol. I am in my late 20s, and my boyfriend in his 50s. Other guy was older than my boyfriend.

I don't know why i did it. I've been trying to reflect and ask myself why I did such a selfish thing. I don't even know what I wanted out of it. I'm trying to understand myself, and the situation... One thing i know now is that I've learned form this.. never again will I do something so selfish

Any piece of advise is appreciated. Thank you JUB

 

[AgisMole]

Nah this one is too difficult Lucas cause it depends too much on your hubby's disposition. If I had been him I would have slapped your egoist ass cause you didn't share your new BF with me but if your hubby was born in Sicily I'm sure he would hang your stuffed head over the fireplace at the place of the deer's

 

[Lucas07]

Nah this one is too difficult Lucas cause it depends too much on your hubby's disposition. If I had been him I would have slapped your egoist ass cause you didn't share your new BF with me but if your hubby was born in Sicily I'm sure he would hang your stuffed head over the fireplace at the place of the deer's

Well, we're both quite easy going and "modern". We go to sauna's together, both of us don't mind if other people touch us etc. To be quite honest, I don't think I'll think much if he slept with somebody else. I know that at the end of the day, we're meant and love each other. It's that sort of thing. Like on the hot tub some guys would touch his dick, and I find out because i'd feel the other guys hands and feet on his cock, and likewise. Last time we we're going at it in public and some guys would just kind of "join in" touching and stuff. We've both kind of talked about it, and we have the same disposition to it. However, we always tease about just being for each other's hands etc. but this doesn't change anything. The thing is, we haven't talked about it, and I was technically cheating.

so yeah.

 

[IowaGuy]

Honesty is the best policy.

 

[KaraBulut]

...The thing is, we haven't talked about it, and I was technically cheating.

so yeah.

You didn't technically cheat. You cheated. Plain and simple.

But what is done is done. And since you didn't have any sort of agreement about monogamy/open relationships, there's no ground rules that require you to make a confession.

You should give some thought to why you cheated. And to whether drinking might be connected with what happened.

And after you have thought about it, maybe it's time you and your boyfriend had a talk about the ground rules for your relationship. And once you have that talk, then honor whatever you have agreed to.

 

[jensu846]

keep quiet....

 

[aaggii]

What happened really meant nothing to me. absolutely nothing.

It might mean something to your partner. If he´s as good as you tell us here, he deserves to know and you have to suck it up, whatever the consequences are.

 

[Seasoned]

What kind of commitment have you made to each other? Saying you won't do it again doesn't mean you won't do it again. You wrote that you don't know why you did it. Of course you do, so be honest with yourself. Alcohol won't make you do things you wouldn't normally do. It just makes it easier. Take responsibility and decide what you want from yourself and from your partner.

 

[tarallucci]

I did something with someone and told my partner right after. I actually tell everything to everyone He was disappointed and said it was very stupid of me but he appreciated my sincerity and because we loved each other he "forgave" me. So, apologize to him saying that you are sorry for what you've done and promise him you'll never cheat again. And don't get drunk

 

[mcbrion]

I'm with you, Tarallucci. I would think it would be even more readily accepted IF there is an actually stated agreement that you could fool around from time to time. Or if you have a "don't ask, don't tell" relationship. But there's a big difference with something "touching" your dick and you having a fully sexual encounter. Have you had that actual experience before, because if not, you're guessing and the ego is saying 'he wouldn't care.' But that's your ego saying that. If you haven't 'talked about it' you have no idea of how far 'touching' is allowed in your relationship. Who knows? Maybe that touching could include full sex. But maybe not. In which case, truth could make the difference it did in T's relationship.