Just thought I would share my story to add to the mix of both positive and negative ones. Sorry it's so long, but I think it's worth the read.
So a little history about me: i'm 22, in the closet, have no gay friends, only messed around with a couple random guys i've met online...nothing serious. Although I know a lot of people hate the label, I do consider myself straight-acting...mainly because I have to be for my job (explained next). I haven't told any of my friends that i'm gay, until last night.
Little history on the situation: I have worked for a police dept for 2 years now, I am finishing my BS degree in law enforcement. A couple months ago we were doing interviews and hired a really hot guy....same age as me, same spot in school, same weird sense of humor, and we instantly clicked when I was on field training with him. Only problem is that he is straight (although I had him pegged as gay, but whatever). We started hanging out a lot after work, watching movies at my house at least 1x a week, talking on the phone constantly, ect. When we first met he had a girlfriend (total bitch I happened to go to high school with) but a month ago he called me crying because she broke up with him after a 3 year relationship. Anyways, we are pretty much best friends, but the fact that I have been lying to him about being straight had really been bugging me.
Last night was my birthday, we ended up going out for a couple drinks when he got off work, and then watched TV at my place for a little bit before he bailed and went home. His mom had made cookies, and he brought me a bag of them, in addition to paying for my drinks (for a straight guy he is really sweet). I had finally had enough of lying to him, and figured tonight would be the end of it. I sat for hours weighing the pros and cons of telling him...although he seemed cool everything was racing thru my head...him outting me at work, not wanting to be friends, being pissed about me lying, ect ect ect. By the time I had the balls to send him an email I was literally sick to my stomach, but sent him the following message:
"Hey dude, this has been bugging me for a while, but I gotta be honest with ya about something (and no, im not kidding...100% serious)...im gay. My parents and shit dont know, no one at work knows (and id like to keep it that way). I just wanted to be honest with ya. If you don't wanna talk or hang out anymore thats cool, its been fun."
I sent that at like 2am, knowing he wouldn't get it until at least the next day. I went to bed sick, regretting what I had done, thinking I lost my best friend over something stupid that I didn't have to do. I got up the next morning and checked my email and had the following reply from him:
"Psh, whatever buddy. I don't care. I have a couple friends in my core group of car friends who are. Doesn't bother me at all, and honestly it's cool that you are honest with me!
It ain't gonna change a thing dude, how you feel towards other people, isn't gonna affect our friendship, so no worries. Granted I may buy you some more appletini's though JK. Thanks for letting me know homefry. I'll be there if you ever need to talk or do whatever cause I'll always be your friend dood. Don't ever think something small and insignificant like that would affect a strong friendship."
I started crying, I couldn't believe it. Talk about a weight being lifted....I came out for the first time and it went well. Although my situation is probably unique, I am really lucky to have such an understanding friend. I don't know why his fucking girlfriend left him, he is perfect...I would kill to find a guy like him. Fucking bitch has no clue how she fucked herself over.](/images/smilies/bang.gif "Brick wall ](*,)")
Just thought I would share....you don't know what will happen until you take a leap of faith.
So a little history about me: i'm 22, in the closet, have no gay friends, only messed around with a couple random guys i've met online...nothing serious. Although I know a lot of people hate the label, I do consider myself straight-acting...mainly because I have to be for my job (explained next). I haven't told any of my friends that i'm gay, until last night.
Little history on the situation: I have worked for a police dept for 2 years now, I am finishing my BS degree in law enforcement. A couple months ago we were doing interviews and hired a really hot guy....same age as me, same spot in school, same weird sense of humor, and we instantly clicked when I was on field training with him. Only problem is that he is straight (although I had him pegged as gay, but whatever). We started hanging out a lot after work, watching movies at my house at least 1x a week, talking on the phone constantly, ect. When we first met he had a girlfriend (total bitch I happened to go to high school with) but a month ago he called me crying because she broke up with him after a 3 year relationship. Anyways, we are pretty much best friends, but the fact that I have been lying to him about being straight had really been bugging me.
Last night was my birthday, we ended up going out for a couple drinks when he got off work, and then watched TV at my place for a little bit before he bailed and went home. His mom had made cookies, and he brought me a bag of them, in addition to paying for my drinks (for a straight guy he is really sweet). I had finally had enough of lying to him, and figured tonight would be the end of it. I sat for hours weighing the pros and cons of telling him...although he seemed cool everything was racing thru my head...him outting me at work, not wanting to be friends, being pissed about me lying, ect ect ect. By the time I had the balls to send him an email I was literally sick to my stomach, but sent him the following message:
"Hey dude, this has been bugging me for a while, but I gotta be honest with ya about something (and no, im not kidding...100% serious)...im gay. My parents and shit dont know, no one at work knows (and id like to keep it that way). I just wanted to be honest with ya. If you don't wanna talk or hang out anymore thats cool, its been fun."
I sent that at like 2am, knowing he wouldn't get it until at least the next day. I went to bed sick, regretting what I had done, thinking I lost my best friend over something stupid that I didn't have to do. I got up the next morning and checked my email and had the following reply from him:
"Psh, whatever buddy. I don't care. I have a couple friends in my core group of car friends who are. Doesn't bother me at all, and honestly it's cool that you are honest with me!
It ain't gonna change a thing dude, how you feel towards other people, isn't gonna affect our friendship, so no worries. Granted I may buy you some more appletini's though
JK. Thanks for letting me know homefry. I'll be there if you ever need to talk or do whatever cause I'll always be your friend dood. Don't ever think something small and insignificant like that would affect a strong friendship."I started crying, I couldn't believe it. Talk about a weight being lifted....I came out for the first time and it went well. Although my situation is probably unique, I am really lucky to have such an understanding friend. I don't know why his fucking girlfriend left him, he is perfect...I would kill to find a guy like him. Fucking bitch has no clue how she fucked herself over.
Just thought I would share....you don't know what will happen until you take a leap of faith.
