Silvernitrate
Porn Star
All my life I have gone back and forth between California and Texas, but the majority of my life was spent in Texas. I was born in Texas and I love it.
However, in the past several years I have not been to Texas very much, besides over christmas and New years. There is a big part of me that inherently identifies with the Texas lifestyle, but at the same time, I also identify with a lot of things here in california.
When I was in Texas over the break, hanging out with all my buddies, everything seemed so fun and yet so simple! We hung out on a friends ranch hunted, drank a lot of cheap beer, and whiskey, around a fire all while listening to country music.
For a second when I first got there, I almost didnt feel like I belonged there, but I quickly realized how much I missed this, and sometimes, or most of the time, it's way better than all the Hollywood glitz and glamour.
It's very humble, simple, and innocent fun. Here in Hollywood, I go out every weekend, dressed in designer suits, have big meetings with people who are sooo serious and are ALWAYS in a hurry somewhere in their high priced exotic cars while going crazy on their crackberrys or iPhones. I've gotten all caught up in that as well.
Just two weeks ago, I went to a club and I was on the guest list and we pulled up in a limo, and we had dinner at an extremely expensive place, and today i just realized I have a stack of Valet tickets in my car from so many different places all over hollywood and beverly hills.
In the industry I work in, we all try and do stuff to make ourselves look good, but we don't really want to look that superficial, but we begin to fool ourselves and get caught up in the superficial lifestyle. I looked back on how much I spent on a personal trainer, clothes, and other high end expensive things, and it's stupid.
I love it here so much, but I feel I'll always be a country boy at heart, but I'm doomed to live in the city! I can't go back and live a country life, it's not what I want to do for a career really. I would like to own a ranch some day, but my permanent residence will be here in LA.
Then today a friend of mine sent me a comment on myspace saying ..."hey i got a cool song, come check it out, you like this song" and I went to have a listen and it was "Blue Clear Sky" by George Strait. I was like yeah.. this is a nice song..
But then it all hit me at once, i began reminiscing on my times in Texas with all my friends, family and just the humble simplicity of it. I felt the song just resonated with me so much I began to cry.
I don't listen to country often, so when I do hear it, it gets me very home sick and emotional. I've realized that I've got my self in a situation I warned my self about a long time ago. It's just kind of hard not to get involved in this lifestyle when all you're around is just nice expensive things and you work with celebrities.
I can't wait to get back to texas for a visit! Seeing and hanging out with different celebrities all the time, in the VIP sections drinking expensive wine, wearing clothes i purchased from a store on robertson blvd or rodeo really isnt the best fun I can have.
Sometimes I'll be out and I'll realize I'll be wearing clothes, that all together total to over 1,000 dollars. I feel weird and really guilty when I make that realizations.
I think the best time for me is, hanging out with old buddies on the ranch drinking coors light, eating junk food, chewing tobacco, around a fire on a cold night! Dressed in decently priced attire that we can get dirty in, while mudding or whatever crazy thing we decide to do. Hopefully I can get back to the old me, and become more humble.
However, in the past several years I have not been to Texas very much, besides over christmas and New years. There is a big part of me that inherently identifies with the Texas lifestyle, but at the same time, I also identify with a lot of things here in california.
When I was in Texas over the break, hanging out with all my buddies, everything seemed so fun and yet so simple! We hung out on a friends ranch hunted, drank a lot of cheap beer, and whiskey, around a fire all while listening to country music.
For a second when I first got there, I almost didnt feel like I belonged there, but I quickly realized how much I missed this, and sometimes, or most of the time, it's way better than all the Hollywood glitz and glamour.
It's very humble, simple, and innocent fun. Here in Hollywood, I go out every weekend, dressed in designer suits, have big meetings with people who are sooo serious and are ALWAYS in a hurry somewhere in their high priced exotic cars while going crazy on their crackberrys or iPhones. I've gotten all caught up in that as well.
Just two weeks ago, I went to a club and I was on the guest list and we pulled up in a limo, and we had dinner at an extremely expensive place, and today i just realized I have a stack of Valet tickets in my car from so many different places all over hollywood and beverly hills.
In the industry I work in, we all try and do stuff to make ourselves look good, but we don't really want to look that superficial, but we begin to fool ourselves and get caught up in the superficial lifestyle. I looked back on how much I spent on a personal trainer, clothes, and other high end expensive things, and it's stupid.
I love it here so much, but I feel I'll always be a country boy at heart, but I'm doomed to live in the city! I can't go back and live a country life, it's not what I want to do for a career really. I would like to own a ranch some day, but my permanent residence will be here in LA.
Then today a friend of mine sent me a comment on myspace saying ..."hey i got a cool song, come check it out, you like this song" and I went to have a listen and it was "Blue Clear Sky" by George Strait. I was like yeah.. this is a nice song..
But then it all hit me at once, i began reminiscing on my times in Texas with all my friends, family and just the humble simplicity of it. I felt the song just resonated with me so much I began to cry.
I don't listen to country often, so when I do hear it, it gets me very home sick and emotional. I've realized that I've got my self in a situation I warned my self about a long time ago. It's just kind of hard not to get involved in this lifestyle when all you're around is just nice expensive things and you work with celebrities.
I can't wait to get back to texas for a visit! Seeing and hanging out with different celebrities all the time, in the VIP sections drinking expensive wine, wearing clothes i purchased from a store on robertson blvd or rodeo really isnt the best fun I can have.
Sometimes I'll be out and I'll realize I'll be wearing clothes, that all together total to over 1,000 dollars. I feel weird and really guilty when I make that realizations.
I think the best time for me is, hanging out with old buddies on the ranch drinking coors light, eating junk food, chewing tobacco, around a fire on a cold night! Dressed in decently priced attire that we can get dirty in, while mudding or whatever crazy thing we decide to do. Hopefully I can get back to the old me, and become more humble.