That Feel

[Fandres]

Chapter 1​

Have you ever realized your milestones are nothing more than the sum of your gravestone? I don't mean to be so cynical, but I just am. Frankly I don't have time to develop any good excuses for it, and I'm not sure you would like to entertain them anyways. You know I was reading the other day about a man who killed his son right down the way from my house. A clean shot right to the temple. His response when asked why he did it was that he didn't know and that he didn't care to. I like that a lot. Don't get me wrong it's a tragedy, but tragedies have been digging man's grave since his inception. You'll help fill it faster than your tears or compassion will. Trust me.

This is going to be a long morning I can already tell. It's only 11 and I can already hear my mother screaming my name.

"Nathan, if you don't get out of bed now I'm going to lose my shit! Did you hear me? I said get the hell out of bed!"

I bet I could let this go on for another ten minutes. I often have thought about doing just that with the hope that she eventually loses her voice. That's when I make my move.

"Mom, I'm gay!"

The heavens part as rays of sunshine light up my face like a spotlight. I smirk at her with the knowledge of a guaranteed loss for words, grab a bagel, and then skip out the door.


....aaaaaaaaand scene.

Yes, that would be really nice. Unfortunately the bed isn't feeling that comfortable, and I'm not in the mood to try out an experiment on that scale this early. I guess it's time to pay homage to the instruments that try oh so well to prevent my inevitable decay. Wow. My toothbrush looks horrible. I probably shouldn't brush as hard as I do. Then again I probably shouldn't be doing most of the things I do. Why stop now, eh?

After finishing up in the shower (I'll spare you the gory details) I headed over to my dresser to throw something on. That much closer to a horrible day, I drifted over to open my blinds hoping to greet the bastard head on. That's when I saw the letter addressed to me taped to the window. My smile must have been brilliant. I opened up the window enough for me to put my hand through in order to fish it out from the other side like a vending machine. I ripped the fucker open so quick I probably should have ended up with fatal paper cuts.

I bet you're a bright ball of sunshine this morning. I can only imagine (thankfully). You know I'm going to miss you too, and I'll only be gone for a few weeks. Do me a favor, and give the world a break while I'm gone.

Love, Ryan.

I felt like such a schoolgirl the way this short letter made me so insanely gleeful. That didn't stop me from reading it over three more times before putting it safely away in my nightstand drawer, though.

 

[DonQuixote]

Fandres,
It sounds like Ryan's got your number, and knows how to turn it around. You need to learn how to take a lesson from him and learn more about his outlook on life. Yours SUCKS.

Perhaps the Bard said it best, when speaking of Parting being such sweet sorrow . . . until the morrow. Oh, well, you've got to wait a couple of weeks for that morrow.

I know how painful waiting for your love can be. But, I'm a bit older now, too, and sometimes get to play the trump card - I've been practicing being a cynic longer than, perchance, you've been on this mortal coil.

So, (imagine the Best Impatient Fatherly Fuck-Off in your Face) Maybe you can pull your head out of your teen angst and be a productive member of society while the love of your life is off to camp. Or at least help your mom out around the house and not give her so much shit!

I've been down the highway of life for quite a distance, now. MAYBE, in a technical sense, what you opened your vignette with is true BUT, somewhere along the line, maybe you will be blessed enough to learn to appreciate the little things life brings you each day, and treat each as though it might be your last, and relish it for all it's worth, instead of pissing in your Wheaties and lamenting your poor, miserable existance.

Okay, End of AssHole Father routine.

Other than THAT . . . you've got a nice, clean, HONEST writing style. I look forward to reading your next installment. We'll see whether the F'in SOB needs to make a return trip to pull your sullen head out of your ass -- remember, burying your head in someone's ass is supposed to be FUN! If you're talented enough to bury your face in your own, make it work for you! LOL Did I say that?!

(I hope you realize I was just having fun with you. Keep up the good work.)

 

[Fandres]

Thanks for the feedback, guys.

I know I didn't really give any introduction to what I was presenting to you guys here, but Nathan is just a fictional character. Even with the mix up I do love your response to his demeanor, Don. It's clear what I was going for with him. As shown he is overall a pretty dickish person, but he is far from stagnate. Also, the intro only gives you a quick view of him, and it's him at his worst. So, don't give up on him yet.

Don't get it twisted, though. I'm definitely not promising a complete turn around. Nathan is and always will be an ass, but a painfully aware one.

Next installment will hopefully be up tomorrow.

 

[DonQuixote]

Tomorrow - Is only a day away . . . with apologies to Little Orphan Annie!

OK, It's March 31st, 10:47 PM EDT.

Foot stomps, impatiently. Looks at watch, harumphs loudly.
OK, where is the "hopefully" installment?!!

Heckle, heckle, heckle. Nudge, Nudge, Nudge.
10:50PM, still no post.
Where is it?!

 

[Fandres]

Chapter 689​

As I drifted down the winding paths to the lake I felt as if I was floating on the air. Not paying attention to my destination, but somehow ending up there all the same. I guess it would be better to say I was floating on that letter. The only thing that I felt like was keeping me from sinking into the ground. Then again it wasn't even a letter. Technically it was a note. I guess the bastard was too busy to even give me a fucking paragraph.

I'm sorry. Not sorry for what I'm thinking. No, my regret is only for you, the gentle reader, who has somehow made it this far with me. Though, I hear that the number of masochists in this world is growing at an alarming rate. Did you know that American Idol is on season eight now? Yeah, I bet you do.

The lake was beautiful, sparkling, and teeming with unknown life. As I gazed out on the majesty of my surroundings, I couldn't help but burst with some strange sense of pride and entitlement. Nature at it's best helping to paint a smile on my face as I skipped to the waters edge. Could that be a fish I see winking at me?

......Is that want you want from me? Ha ha!

Not going to happen, dick. Don't get me wrong I'm not devoid of wonder, but fascination is such a fickle thing. Some days I see the world moving with some secret magic, but on others all I see is a tree, a flower, a child riding a bike, a deep blue sky, and a plain old lake. Today is just one of those days. I wouldn't expect anything else from myself when Ryan's gone. You might be wondering what kind of hold he could have on me. Sometimes I ponder on that myself. The majority of my reflections on our relationship is mostly dealt with just the opposite, though. What hold could I ever have on him? For some reason I do, and I'm thankful beyond anything in my available lexicon to describe it.

There it is. The oyster you strangely dug through a shit ton of mud to find. I guess you deserve the prize inside you lucky bastard.

I'm in love.

Feel free to attach that shimmering pearl to a necklace, and shove it up your ass. Hey! Is that a second one I see? Oh my, Pa! This feller here is going for ass play already.

I just thought of something. You assholes better not jerk off to this even if it gets juicy. This is my life, creep. If I find out your hand has been anywhere near your dick longer than it takes to scratch an itch then I'll rip it off and hang it from my rear-view mirror. Oops! There goes your boner sustained from the homepage.

You know I feel like a frog sitting on this rock like this. I had a pet one as a kid. His aquarium had a great big rock perched out of the water just like this for him to sit on. I came home from school one day to find him there as always. Except unlike usual he was sitting stiller than the rock he was on. Eyes open and everything. Mom had to pry him off before he took his final dive into the toilet. I think that is going to be my fate for the next two weeks. Becoming a statue for all the wildlife here to gaze upon in admiration. I can only imagine the inscription.

Nathan: The only human to make the life of an amphibian more interesting than his own.

 

[DonQuixote]

You've posted your next patch of weeds for us to ponder.

Well, it's too late at night for me to be too witty - I've been nodding off as I tried to type something - got to get to bed.

Maybe I'll have thought of something appropriate after letting it stew in my unconscious brain.

What are you looking for FROM us? That's a Big part of my dilemma at the moment. I think I know what you're looking for, based on our first bit of repartee, but . . . This was one fucked up read. More later, when maybe I'll be coherent.

 

[Autolycus]

Oh, those teenage years - when we knew all there was to know and the world wavered between a place of wonder and a firm opposition to everything we longed for.

That first crush - was it love or was it a desperate longing for fulfilment?

Testosterone running rampant, we cried out for at least one person to truly understand us.....


I so like the way this story is going and the way it is written!

 

[DonQuixote]

Fandres,
OK, I've had a chance to try and get a decent night's sleep, put in the better part of a day at work. Now that I'm done with lunch, and have re-read both your post and the wax eloquent response from Autolycus, perhaps I'm ready to give a more coherent post.

I apologize for last night. I can't tell you how long it took just to post that bit of coherent text. Major Zonk out and numerous attempts and clean ups! But, I was theorhetically awake when you posted, and I wanted to read it and respond as quickly as possible - It's either a code of honour to give you PROMPT/FAST feedback, or an immature "gotta be first" thing. I'm not sure which, yet. I'll let you know. One is selfless, the other selfish. I usually try to be altruistic when possible, so I guess it's 90:10. 90% altruistic, 10% immaturity.

OK, I can almost see clearly now. Yes, Autolycus, we are definitely looking at the Angst and Ecstasy of Approaching Adulthood, aka Horrormoans extraordinaire. And we all know that all teenaged guys are worth at that age is fantasizing, fucking, and fighting -- it was supposed to be middle age, after all!

Now, a minor point -- My last REAL post (last night doesn't really count) mentioned your reference to posting the NEXT (now last) post "tomorrow". March 31st is the date stamp on THAT post. Today is April 17th! That's a loooonnnngggggg "day"! Just had to bust your chops on that one. We know how time gets away from us all - we're all slaves to others' devices, after all.

We'll just chalk it up to an "early" April Fool's Joke - where we(I) was the Fool for thinking you'd really be able to post another chapter that soon.

Damn, irresponsible teen-aged brats. Don't ever live up to their promises. Just want to go off with their heads in the clouds or up their asses - yeah, Nathan's definitely back in his Ass! Harrrummmph! The LEAST he could do is wake up and realize there are a lot of us "invisible" folk around who wouldn't mind being a surrogate ass for his head to be up while "Lover Boy" is away!

Was that enough of the Ass Hole Father for this post?! Shades of Incest! Well, if Vice is Nice, they say Incest is Best -- I wouldn't know from first hand knowledge, but just ask the Royals - they've been keeping it all in the family for millenia!

You are, when I am coherent while reading, PAINFULLY bringing me back to the angst of MY youth, which I tried to revisit somewhere in my mid-life crisis 13-15 years ago, only kicking it up a notch or twelve - I was a responsible father of three and loving husband without a job, after all. Oh, yeah, and having those "other urges" pop up above the surface, too. Still trying to figure out if I will ever quietly scratch an itch or two, as you so delicately put it!

I definitely have to remember to be cooking on all burners when I read your posts. Methinks you delight in twisting our poor, befuddled brain cells every which way but loose -- and you excel at it!

Keep up the purplexing prose, you pricklish purveyor of posts. I will attempt to be up to the challenge of reading and appreciating them. And providing you the verbal ass-whipping you seem to be begging for -- discipline. Good for what ails you. Now go down to the stream, whip it out, and beat it off - you know you want to. Go ahead. It's OK. We ALL do it.

 

[Fandres]

Much appreciated, guys. Hopefully I'll be posting more of this sooner than I have been. I'm pretty sure tomorrow is looking good for another installment.

 

[Autolycus]

Was that enough of the Ass Hole Father for this post?! Shades of Incest! Well, if Vice is Nice, they say Incest is Best -- I wouldn't know from first hand knowledge, but just ask the Royals - they've been keeping it all in the family for millenia!

I suppose I could sue on behalf of my family but then I am rather busy chatting up the dishy new footman at the moment!

 

[DonQuixote]

Autolycus,
I'll apologize to you and your family, if you view it as an insult. The Royals of Europe and the States (................. ............ .................. ............. etc.) all seem to like keeping it "all in the family".

Whether that's because they do it best, or they just don't want their bank balances to be split too many ways, or lose controlling interest in their companies, I don't know.

And, what would the grounds for the suit be? It's not slander or libel if it's the truth. And there have been ver strict protocols for who could/should marry whom, for centuries.

 

[Fandres]

Code: Blue (Pt. 2)​

Today is a good day. A good fucking day indeed. I patiently waited while sprawled out on my bed letting the album that kept me awake the previous night continue to repeat.

You can throw it off a bridge
You can lose it in the fire
You can leave it at the altar
But it will make you out a liar....

As I heard the door open I closed my eyes quickly. Footsteps advanced towards my bed, and I tried not to smirk. There was no movement after a good minute, and I had to admire his restraint. We both knew I was going to win this one, though. I could hold out as long as it took. In fact....

A pair of something I just realized how much I missed found their way to my mine, and I no longer cared about winning anymore. Then just as suddenly I was released. Quicker than I would have liked. I'm embarrassed to admit I whimpered.

"Dick."

My eyes finally opened, and I took him in grin and all.

"What's wrong? Did I scare you?"

His grin grew wider.

"I didn't mean to wake you up. I can come back later."

He started to turn away, and my hand shot out to grab his wrist. I pulled until he was next to me, and I finally found myself in the place I loved to be the most. We stared at each other for awhile in silence until he broke it with a sigh.

"What's the deal with these circles under your eyes?"

He started to run his fingers across them.

"Trying to set a world record, or did you just want me to worry about the state I find you in?"

The things I want to say always find themselves trumped by the truth when he gives me that look.

"You know I have trouble sleeping, and it's worse when you're away."

His fingers left my eyes and moved over to rest on my cheek.

"Try harder for me next time. Promise?"

I glared at him. Try harder?

"Yeah, I guess my problem was that I didn't try hard enough."

He didn't return my glare, but instead waited patiently for what he wanted to hear.

"Fine."

"Thank you."

That's when I was rewarded with another kiss, and any developing annoyance I had was instantly gone. He knew me to well. This time it's length was more to my liking, and I started to lose myself in it. Still it ended too quickly as it always seemed to. He pulled me off the bed with him, and then he pulled back the covers so we could crawl in. With my head resting on his chest I began to remember things I didn't know I had forgotten. His scent being on the top of that list. After some time I looked up to find that he was still awake. He smiled when I gave him a questioning look.

"I missed you so much."

"Aren't you tired? You've been traveling all day."

"I am, but I'm waiting for you."

"Waiting for what?"

"For you to fall asleep."

"No one asked you to be The Lone Ranger."

"I won't feel better until you do, Tonto."

I rolled my eyes, and rested my head again. My arm twisted around his waist pulling myself closer to him. I let myself relax for the first time in weeks. As I felt my eyes begin to grow heavy I realized I had neglected something important.

"I missed you too."

"I know."

 

[DonQuixote]

Ahhh. Beneath the Prickly Pear of anxious youth, there DOES lie a gentle, loving soul.

There's nothing quite like being in the arms of the one you love after a long absence. Just the holding, cuddling.

The naked monkey sex later ain't too bad, either!

Nice. No pretense. Just honest emotion. Guard down.
Ain't it grand?

 

[Fandres]

Minute 366​

I woke up the next morning to an empty bed, and looked down to see Ryan sprawled out on the floor. Forgot about my parents. Good thing he didn't. I bunched my pillow up under my arms, and watched him for awhile. No denying he looked pretty damn cute when he was asleep. Some time later he started to stir, and searched for the time.

"They're gone."

He pulled off the spare cover I keep in my closet to reveal that he had stripped down sometime last night.

"Boxer briefs? When did that happen?"

He chuckled as he climbed into the bed.

"Bought them for my trip."

"Why the change?"

"Just felt like trying them out."

"I hear that too much constriction lowers sperm count."

"How unfortunate for us."

"Yes, you should have talked to me before buying these. Does this relationship mean nothing to you?"

"Nope. So, do you like 'em?"

I rested my head on his shoulder, and pulled the cover up.

"Yeah, I like 'em, boss."

"Stop groping me with your eyes."

"Sure thing. I guess I'll have to make do with my hands."

"Yeah, all talk. Let's get breakfast."

He slid out of bed, and headed over to get his pants that were hung over my desk chair.

"What was that?"

"What?"

"This isn't something you should have to explain to a guy."

He zipped up his fly mockingly slow.

"Are you after my body, sir?"

"Yes."

"Too bad. I'm hungry."

"Well once my dick breaks off in a few seconds we can use it to beat the eggs."

"......eggs do sound good."

"Dick. Fine then go on. I'll be down in a second."

He grinned and bent down to give me a quick kiss. After he was gone I got started on my payback. My closet, a mess as usual, yielded no immediate results. That's when I saw exactly what I needed almost completely hidden in the back. I grabbed them and headed for the door. By the time I got to the kitchen he had just started digging in. Perfect.

"Hey, I'm not really hungry. Think I'm going to go take a shower."

He turned to respond only to be greeted by me without a shirt and in a painfully tight pair of leopard skin panties one of my friends had given me as a gag gift. His eyes popped open even more than I could have hoped for.

"That's really not even fair."

I just smiled and turned to go back upstairs. When I got to the top step I heard him on the first. I quickly went into the bathroom and locked the door. He turned the knob to no avail and then knocked.

"Let me in, Nathan."

"What do you want? I thought you were eating breakfast."

I heard him sigh and head back to the stairs. As much fun as this all was it's not like I wanted to see it all the way through. I popped the lock, and opened the door. He was standing at the top of the stairs with his arms folded.

"Hilarious."

"I thought so."

He came forward and slid his arms around my waist.

"Let's have that shower."

(This is normally the time when the author gets into all the dirty stuff. You get hard, and begin to massage your member. Then after the eventual spillage you look at your reflection in the screen and wonder......"Did I really just jerk off to that?". Sorry, but I love you too much to do that to you.)

After we were in some fresh clothes I pulled on his hand.

"Let's go eat some eggs now. I've worked up an appetite, and those are just what I want."

He looked at me and burst out laughing.

"What?"

He was still trying to contain himself as he pulled me into his arms.

"I scarfed down your last four right before I came after you."

 

[DonQuixote]

Fandres,
A very nice continuation.
Some of us might tell you that you don't need to "love us so much". Don't "spare us" from the intimate details that leave us with cum stains on our shorts!

I'm certain a particular author of these here parts would really like to keep the reason for his moniker intact.

Nicely written, even without (heavy sigh) the explicit love scene in the shower!
Looking forward to your next installment.

 

[Fandres]

Chapter Short: Because I Can​

Welp, I've been meaning to tell you guys. Ryan died. Not that big of a deal. I've moved on, and you should too. I've decided that my life would be much more interesting if I were to capture a straight guy and make him my sex slave. That's what you guys like, right? I'm just trying to figure out how I could turn it into a love story. The slave being set free only to return to the master. It could happen, right? Gain your freedom and all of the sudden dick jobs are hard to come by.

"Nathan, are you coming already?"

"Just like you. Trying to get it over as soon as possible."

I lied. He's waiting for me downstairs. We are going to dinner and a movie. What's a love story without a date like that, right? I FEEL A POSSIBLE POP CULTURE REFERENCES COMING UP! WHAT MORE COULD YOU ASK FOR! A better person. A better writer. Yeah, I know. He doesn't deserve Nathan. Poor boy. Maybe so, but for the time being he's with me. No blackmail required either.

"If you don't put it on already I'm going to force it on you myself."

A lover intent on safe sex? I wish. I'm being forced to wear a button down shirt. There's something you must understand I hate any form of dress clothes. If it has buttons or creases you won't see me in it. It all goes back to childhood where my mother took it upon herself to dress me in my Sunday's best Monday through Friday.

I guess I might as well get it over with. The asshole is going to get such a kick out of this. He was waiting at the bottom of the stairs, and when he saw me his smile was huge.

"You look great."

He pulled me into his arms.

"Don't. I can barely breath as it is. I feel like this things is fucking choking me."

He ignored me and started kissing on my neck. Which being the genius that I am gave me an idea. I put my hands on his chest and began to move south. Maybe I could get out of this shit earlier than I thought. Anticipating what I was up to he grabbed my hand it moved it to his back.

"You're not getting out of this."

"I hate you."

He laughed as he pulled me out the door.

 

[DonQuixote]

He sounds almost as schizophrenic as I frequently feel - arguing with himself.

I had a boss who talked to himself (I look in the mirror, freqeuntly, as a matter of fact). He was unabashed about it and made a sound observation -- it's the only way you get intelligent answers! lol.

Short, not overly sweet, but VERY Real!

Great read. Took me a minute to get back into synch, unfortunately.

Thanks for the effort you put into crafting these stories for us.

 

[Fandres]

Thanks for the feedback.

 

[harry113]

Hey Fandres, Thanks, great story
More please
Harry