the ex thing

[bacchus]

if you had an ex who treated you like crap (mostly because he was off his meds, but partly because you actually found a job- when you needed the cash- and you broke up because you wouldn't be able to spend as much time together anymore) who tried to contact you after about 6 months, would you talk to him?

are you required to accept an apology from him now that he (seems) to be back on his medication and hasn't yet said anything derogatory, rude, or mean towards you or a general race of people?

i hate people sometimes

 

[ahotjock71]

RUN. Far, far away.

 

[Danugh]

Hell to the now.

You should have put this is the relationships thread.

I had a man try to contact me after 7 months what a joke. You need to be strong and not go back to him. He hasnt changed and it will be the same ole.

Move on and dont look back. Why wait 7 months? If he can go so long without you he can go the rest of his life.

Breaking up is hard to do but sometimes it has to be done.

 

[cozmik]

In all my relationships, it's yet to make sense to continue after the break up, be it be as friends or getting back together, no matter what, the foundation of both types of relationship are the same, and usually, it's a break in the foundation that leads to the downfall of a relationship.

I think it ultimatly comes down to this. He is your ex for a reason. Has that reason really changed?

 

[bacchus]

You need to be strong and not go back to him.

oh hell no thats not the problem. i don't plan on getting back together with him in any sense of a relationship. the question is really do i even bother to talk to him on a basic 'acquaintance' level or tell him i don't care enough to put the energy into even that sort of contact

He is your ex for a reason. Has that reason really changed?

no that reason has not (for the most part, unless he's actually back on his meds...which is most likely temporary anyway if it is even true)

but again, there's no chance of a relationship with him. so do i just tell him to back away and don't contact me again, or do i maintain the basic acquaintance thing?

in all honesty i don't think it affects me one way or the other if i never see or hear from him again. i've got friends that i talk to (who DON'T make racist remarks) and hang out with on a semi-regular basis, and i haven't even heard from him in so long i almost forgot he existed

i just don't know if there is some sort of courtesy you extend when someone comes holding the olive branch out to you

i always have a hard time just cutting someone out of my life completely if they seem to be trying to make amends...blech...leave it to the guy with almost no relationship experience to have these kinds of problems with his exes

 

[gmoney]

I tend to give someone the benefit of the doubt. If he's just trying to make amends and not attempting to resurect the relationship, then I would give him that chance.

 

[Danugh]

My ex did me wrong and i even though i have gotton over it i want nothing to do with him on any level. He wanted a friendship but i said hell to the no.

I said if i see you somewhere i guess ill say hello but that it. No emails, no calls no meetings whatsoever.

Whats done is done. Sometimes they would use the friendship to try and weasel their way back into your heart but its not happenening.

Once you close off your mind to someone thats it, and you just have to stick with it

 

[pausanias_usa]

If meds are covering up the real person -- who obviously is mean to you and not thinking about YOU -- then I say "cut all ties."

This from a former co-dependent, help any way I can, but finally realizes YOU NEED TO TAKE CARE OF YOU person!

I loved my ex and still do in some way, but it does not mean I'll fall victim to his personality problems/disorders again.

 

[Danugh]

I was the one that ended my relationship. I meant it at the time but then when i actually did it i realised that i would never see him again and i had a panic attack and wanted to take backwhat i said. It was horrible , i loved him so much , and he was such a big part of my life.

However, i had to be strong and realise that ending the relationship was the best thing for me and my sanity.

it gets easier everyday and i know one day i will be totally over him.

Crazy by Gnarls Brakley is a hot song i am listenning to it now.

 

[Pegasus69]

I had a relationship of 10 years end quite suddenly, and not by my choice. I let that eat at me for a very long time and wasted too much time thinking that I was unworthy of a relationship and love. When I was diagnosed with cancer I took the plung, tracked down my ex, and sent him a letter saying that I hoped that he was healthy, happy and well. I thanked him for the 10 years that we did have. This was done after not speaking to each other for 8 years (and not to mention that the last conversation we did have was not a very civil one) and since that time 4 months ago we have spoken with each other at least every other weekend. I will admit that I will always love him, I am just no longer in love with him. The forgiveness that I extended was for both of us, and I feel so liberated by that one simple act. We will never be a couple again, but we are at peace with everything. That is worth more than I could ever express in words.

 

[luminum]

Mine was kind of like that, he was bored, dealing with his depression, and under a lot fo stress. It doesn't excuse his behavior towards me, but when we eventually did reconcile, I did forgive him, because after all, he's human and he taught me a lot about what to look out for in a partner. I don't mind being friends with him, so reconciliationa nd forgiveness when he apologized was worth it.