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A friend is looking for beta readers/reviewers for a 91k erotic romance. Any type and level of feedback would be appreciated, and my friend would be happy to return the favor. The manuscript can be provided as a Word doc or on Google Drive. Send PM with contact info and I will forward. This will eventually be published (that's the plan!) and therefore only one excerpt is being posted here (below).
Blurb/description:
The Golden Boy is an MM erotic romance with a little bit of an age gap and a lot of heat. There is mention of a non-con event in Pete's back story with reference to specific but nongraphic memories of the event. He also has a history of suicidal ideation and a discussion of this comes up several times. Pete is bisexual and he engages in both MM(often!) and MF(once) pairings.
NICK
I’ll admit I was sort of looking for that special someone, but I certainly didn’t expect the perfect man to literally fall into my arms. Pete is gorgeous, young, and not put off by my….sizable problem. But I can tell there's something haunting him, and I feel like I need to hold myself back, or maybe stay away from him completely. I just want to take care of him, feed him a decent meal, and keep him warm at night. Why won’t he let me?
PETE
I've failed out of my college classes, I’m about to be homeless, and every day I walk a fine line between being fairly functional and completely losing my shit. When a sexy construction worker comes into my life, he stands out like something shiny and clean next to the dumpster fire that is my existence. Nick is hot as hell and the chemistry between us is undeniable. I might be able to admit that Nick could be exactly what I need, but I’m not sure I’m strong enough to let him get close enough to find out.
Excerpt:
“Can I get you something to drink?” he asks as he reaches for a bottle of whisky and two glasses from a high cabinet.
“Sure.” I nod, but I’m not really interested in being distracted with alcohol right now.
He pours two short glasses, downs his own in one shot. As he refills it I move closer to him and tuck my fingers into the back pockets of his jeans. I love the feel of the thick curve of his ass under my hands.
“Nervous?” I tease, but something unreadable flashes in his eyes when he looks at me.
“I just…I’m a little self conscious is all,” He bottoms up his second whisky. He starts to lift the bottle of whisky then thinks better of it and puts it back down. I wiggle my fingers to push his hips forward to make contact with mine. My desire has been simmering all day, and now that I have him alone it is boiling over. I’m in no mood to be subtle.
“I’ll be gentle, take me to bed.” I whisper into his neck.
I feel like I am practically pushing him forward even though he leads me by the hand up the stairs. Nick’s bed room has dark walls and high ceilings and an attached master bath but any of the fine details escape my notice. He adjusts the dimmer switch on the wall so at first there is barely enough light for me to see the dark outline of a large king bed against the far wall. His fingers still linger on the light switch when he turns to look at me like he isn’t sure what to do next. I take one of his thick hands in mine and kiss his palm.
“Touch me,” I tell him as I press my face into his hand.
“I don’t want to ….upset you.”
“Please…touch me…” I arch into him and bring his other hand under my shirt along my lower back, “I promise I’ll tell you if something bothers me.”
His fingers press into my back and he cups my chin to bring me up for a slow, lingering kiss. The whisky taste on his tongue makes the kiss feel more intimate, a reminder of the flash of vulnerability I saw downstairs. My hands press up against his chest…. shit he’s so solid, I want more of his bare skin. I grab at the hem of his shirt and yank it up, then pull my own shirt over my head. My eyes have adjusted to the light and I can see the contours of his chest in the relief of the shadows.
“Jesus Christ, you’re a frickin’ demi-god.” His torso looks like it is sculpted from marble, but I can practically taste the warmth that radiates from him. “Lie down,” I tell him. He lays back on the bed and scoots up to rest his head on the pillows. I slide out of my jeans crawl up to hover over him, tracing the shadows of his tattoos along his arms as I go. When I make it to his head, Nick reaches up and pulls me down onto him and my hips make contact with a rock hard ridge of a very large erection. I grind against him and he groans into my mouth. My hands are braced against the pillows of his chest, and I flex my fingers and press into the thick muscle. I remember his reaction to nipple stimulation the last time I had my hands on his chest and when I experimentally brush my palm across one of the tight points Nick makes a ’aaaahh…’ sound and reaches between his legs to adjust himself.
“Let’s get these off,” I tell him as I start to work his fly, but I hesitate when he lifts up his head and looks like he is forming a protest on his lips. For a second I wonder if he is going to insist on keeping his pants on which is going to seriously compromise my plans for the evening, but then he lays his head back down and works with me to undo his jeans and slide them off. He intentionally keeps his boxers pulled up around his waist, although they tent up and out from his body. I let the underwear situation be for the moment. They’re the loose cotton ones that come twelve in a package, I can work around them if I have to.
I straddle his hips, pressing his cotton covered cock into the groove of my thigh. His body looks like a marble sculpture, and I for a moment I lose sight of my goal oriented progress and just trace the perfect contours of his chest. I bring my mouth to his neck, then his collar bone, then lower down his breast bone, listening to his sharp inhales when sink my teeth and bite gently at the thickness of his pecs. I can feel his hands hovering over me, like he wants to touch me but is afraid to.
“Hold onto your head board,” I tell him. I want him to pay attention to what I’m doing to him, not worry about what to do with his hands. His bedframe has a thick wooden spindles that are perfect for him to wrap his hands around. Once his hands have an assignment, his whole body relaxes underneath me. I cup his pecs with my hands and run my tongue along the lower edge, teasing his nipples with a nip of my teeth and then flicking my thumb across the tips as I kiss my way back up to his mouth. He lifts his head to meet me and strains up to devour my mouth, but he keeps his hands in place. I let my fingers tease across his collar bones, down the sensitive skin under his arms. My fingers work feather light circles around his pecs, and then, as he exhales and settles into the mattress a little deeper, I bring my mouth to one of his nipples, first sucking lightly then drawing it into my mouth as I flick my tongue over the tight point. My other hand brushes the opposite side and Nick begins to whine. It is obvious that this man has never had his chest appropriately attended to and someone needs to be arrested for that crime. Fortunately for his previous sex partners, I am a little too occupied to put out an APB on their unappreciative asses right now. I suck at him hard and keep my fingers working and his forearms strain as he grips the spindles above his head.
“What are you doing?” he whines, lifting his head to look at me as I move my mouth to the other side.
“I’m worshiping your chest.”
“Is that what that’s called,” he says in a weak voice as he drops back onto the pillow.
“Yes,” I give him a light pinch, “May I continue?”
“Yes…yes please….” The unveiled need in his tone does something to me, and I return to his body with renewed hunger to taste him. Soon my own arousal is compelling me to rut against his thigh.
“Can I touch you?” Nick’s voice is husky. I response I take one of his hands from above his head and bring it to cup my erection. When he traces the waistband of my briefs with his fingertip I reach down and shimmy them off. He rests my shaft on his palm and squeezes my balls lightly with his fingertips.
“I’d like to put this in my mouth.” He squeezes me tighter.
“That sounds delightful,” I murmur. I expect him to lay me down on my back but instead he grabs me by the waist and drags me up over his chest so that I am kneeling over his face. He presses his mouth to the skin just above my hole, slowly moving his lips up along my sack, gently sucking in the skin and rolling my balls in his mouth. Just when I wonder if it the skin on my cock might spontaneously ignite from the delicious wet heat Nick’s tongue is creating between my legs he lifts me up, tips his head back and draws me into his mouth. The angle he holds me at allows him to take me so deeply into his throat I pull back after only a few thrusts, not wanting to spill my load in his mouth.
I wiggle out of his grasp and move down between his legs. When I reach for his boxers, his whole body tenses for a second. I hesitate, then very slowly ease the elastic down over his hips to reveal the largest cock I have ever witnessed in person. It strains at low angle toward his navel, being pulled down by its own weight, the base so wide I’m sure I won’t be able to close my grip around it. A pearl of moisture glistens at the tip of a broad head that is proportional to the rest of the organ, so in other words, humongous. Nick lets out a slow exhale as he watches my face with…well not what I would expect from one revealing a prize such as this. Instead of arrogance or even smug confidence he looks concerned, maybe a little….embarrassed? Wait…this? This is what he’s self conscious about? I crawl back up over his chest, planting a few soft kisses along the way, until we are nose to nose.
“You are amazing,” I tell him as my hand makes contact with his shaft, holding his gaze as I speak. I kiss him again try to show him how I am taken by all of him. He is amazing, all of him, not just his giant cock. He shudders out an exhale as I take him in a firm grasp and stroke. I was right, my fingers don’t reach around his girth. “I’m going down on you,” I tell him and lick the tip of his nose, “Any objections?” I run my thumb over his slit and slick the precum around his head.
“No….objections…..”
I grab his ankles and plant them on the bed, spreading his legs wide. I stroke my fingers down his thighs and watch him tense with anticipation as I come closer to his midline, then shudder in frustration as I move away. I settle myself between his legs and run my mouth down his inner thighs, planting soft kisses as I go and occasionally pulling at the sensitive skin with my teeth. His skin feels almost electric under my touch, like a magnet drawing us together. It pulls at my own cock, but the small whimpering noise Nick makes when I flick my tongue over the smooth skin under his sac makes me want to feed his desire before I indulge my own.
He tries to lie still, and I can see the muscles of his thighs twitch I suck on his sack, his large cock wavering above, desperate for attention. When I run my tongue down to taste the musk of his tight hole he arches his back to press into my mouth but makes a noise like he is in pain.
“Ok?” I ask as I pull away.
“Uhhh-huhhh…It’s just been a while since any one….keep going…I mean…please…” I trace the puckered skin with my fingers, slick with my spit, “Oh God that’s good….”
I press a fingertip against Nick’s opening and he pushes against me as my finger glides in. The heat of him sends a jolt to my already throbbing cock, and I shift my hips to stop myself from rutting on the sheets. I return my mouth to his hole and work in a second spit slicked finger. Nick whines things like ‘oh God’ and ‘don’t stop’ to encourage me but is eventually reduced to just softly moaning as I ply him with my fingers. When he moves his hand to stroke himself I grab his wrist and pull him off, resulting in a groan of frustration and a flex of his internal muscles that pulls at my hand. I can see precum beading up at the tip of the enormous head of his cock, and I press my fingers onto his prostate and I am rewarded with a guttural “ohhhhhhfuuuuuucckkkkkk…”
The sight of his arousal over comes my restraint and I suck his swollen head into my mouth. The edges of my lips stretch wide and I take in as much as I can. The heat of him in my mouth and the molten velvet of his hole on my fingers makes me dizzy with need.
“Condoms and lube?” I ask with my lips against his shaft.
“In the bathroom.” The bathroom? Who keeps that stuff 20 feet from the place it will be used?
“I’ll get them.” He starts to get up.
“Don’t move. I like you right where you are.”
He is mumbling something about a top left drawer but I am too desperate with the need to be inside him to take direction. I ransack his bathroom, pulling out random drawers and shuffling through the contents until I locate a strip of condoms and a bottle of an organic personal lubricant. I tear open one of the foil wrappers and sheath myself as I return to the bed. Nick has remained where I left him, and I can feel his need for me pulsing with my own. I pump some lube on my fingers and grease his hole. My fingers slip into his heat and my cock swells in anticipation.
“Turn over sweetheart,” I tell him and Nick turns to position himself on his knees and elbows, presenting the incredible round globes of his muscular ass and his hole that shimmers with lube. I trace his crack with my tip of my cock until I sink into the divot of puckered skin, then I rock into the tight band of muscle, letting Nick’s body open up to take me. When I have pushed myself into him completely, I lean forward to press a kiss at the center of his wide back and he shudders and clenches around me. I put some lube on my hand and reach around to slick up his immense cock, so long it presses into the bed sheets. My cock is practically vibrating with the need to pound into him, but I resist the urge and just move slowly inside him as my fingers run along his shaft, learning the contours of the veins along his length. The head of his cock is full and tight and I cup my palm around it and milk the tip of him until he is cursing and shaking.
“Fuck…Pete…ohhhhh….Fuck…..” The timbre of his voice rising until he sounds desperate and I can no longer resist the molten heat of his body that engulfs me. With one hand still working him, I glide into his hole with a slow rhythm that has us both moaning. As a the heat of a climax starts to spiral within me, I place one foot along side him, allowing me to lay over his back and jack him with firm strokes. I adjust my position and grip in response to his deep groans and soon he is clenching on me and crying out in time with my thrusts.
“Oh….God….oh God….oh Pete…..” Nick’s large body shudders and I have to dig my fingers into his hips to stay inside him as he grunts and spasms with his climax. The rhythmic squeeze of his internal muscles milk my shaft and a few more thrusts have me shaking with my own release.
Blurb/description:
The Golden Boy is an MM erotic romance with a little bit of an age gap and a lot of heat. There is mention of a non-con event in Pete's back story with reference to specific but nongraphic memories of the event. He also has a history of suicidal ideation and a discussion of this comes up several times. Pete is bisexual and he engages in both MM(often!) and MF(once) pairings.
NICK
I’ll admit I was sort of looking for that special someone, but I certainly didn’t expect the perfect man to literally fall into my arms. Pete is gorgeous, young, and not put off by my….sizable problem. But I can tell there's something haunting him, and I feel like I need to hold myself back, or maybe stay away from him completely. I just want to take care of him, feed him a decent meal, and keep him warm at night. Why won’t he let me?
PETE
I've failed out of my college classes, I’m about to be homeless, and every day I walk a fine line between being fairly functional and completely losing my shit. When a sexy construction worker comes into my life, he stands out like something shiny and clean next to the dumpster fire that is my existence. Nick is hot as hell and the chemistry between us is undeniable. I might be able to admit that Nick could be exactly what I need, but I’m not sure I’m strong enough to let him get close enough to find out.
Excerpt:
“Can I get you something to drink?” he asks as he reaches for a bottle of whisky and two glasses from a high cabinet.
“Sure.” I nod, but I’m not really interested in being distracted with alcohol right now.
He pours two short glasses, downs his own in one shot. As he refills it I move closer to him and tuck my fingers into the back pockets of his jeans. I love the feel of the thick curve of his ass under my hands.
“Nervous?” I tease, but something unreadable flashes in his eyes when he looks at me.
“I just…I’m a little self conscious is all,” He bottoms up his second whisky. He starts to lift the bottle of whisky then thinks better of it and puts it back down. I wiggle my fingers to push his hips forward to make contact with mine. My desire has been simmering all day, and now that I have him alone it is boiling over. I’m in no mood to be subtle.
“I’ll be gentle, take me to bed.” I whisper into his neck.
I feel like I am practically pushing him forward even though he leads me by the hand up the stairs. Nick’s bed room has dark walls and high ceilings and an attached master bath but any of the fine details escape my notice. He adjusts the dimmer switch on the wall so at first there is barely enough light for me to see the dark outline of a large king bed against the far wall. His fingers still linger on the light switch when he turns to look at me like he isn’t sure what to do next. I take one of his thick hands in mine and kiss his palm.
“Touch me,” I tell him as I press my face into his hand.
“I don’t want to ….upset you.”
“Please…touch me…” I arch into him and bring his other hand under my shirt along my lower back, “I promise I’ll tell you if something bothers me.”
His fingers press into my back and he cups my chin to bring me up for a slow, lingering kiss. The whisky taste on his tongue makes the kiss feel more intimate, a reminder of the flash of vulnerability I saw downstairs. My hands press up against his chest…. shit he’s so solid, I want more of his bare skin. I grab at the hem of his shirt and yank it up, then pull my own shirt over my head. My eyes have adjusted to the light and I can see the contours of his chest in the relief of the shadows.
“Jesus Christ, you’re a frickin’ demi-god.” His torso looks like it is sculpted from marble, but I can practically taste the warmth that radiates from him. “Lie down,” I tell him. He lays back on the bed and scoots up to rest his head on the pillows. I slide out of my jeans crawl up to hover over him, tracing the shadows of his tattoos along his arms as I go. When I make it to his head, Nick reaches up and pulls me down onto him and my hips make contact with a rock hard ridge of a very large erection. I grind against him and he groans into my mouth. My hands are braced against the pillows of his chest, and I flex my fingers and press into the thick muscle. I remember his reaction to nipple stimulation the last time I had my hands on his chest and when I experimentally brush my palm across one of the tight points Nick makes a ’aaaahh…’ sound and reaches between his legs to adjust himself.
“Let’s get these off,” I tell him as I start to work his fly, but I hesitate when he lifts up his head and looks like he is forming a protest on his lips. For a second I wonder if he is going to insist on keeping his pants on which is going to seriously compromise my plans for the evening, but then he lays his head back down and works with me to undo his jeans and slide them off. He intentionally keeps his boxers pulled up around his waist, although they tent up and out from his body. I let the underwear situation be for the moment. They’re the loose cotton ones that come twelve in a package, I can work around them if I have to.
I straddle his hips, pressing his cotton covered cock into the groove of my thigh. His body looks like a marble sculpture, and I for a moment I lose sight of my goal oriented progress and just trace the perfect contours of his chest. I bring my mouth to his neck, then his collar bone, then lower down his breast bone, listening to his sharp inhales when sink my teeth and bite gently at the thickness of his pecs. I can feel his hands hovering over me, like he wants to touch me but is afraid to.
“Hold onto your head board,” I tell him. I want him to pay attention to what I’m doing to him, not worry about what to do with his hands. His bedframe has a thick wooden spindles that are perfect for him to wrap his hands around. Once his hands have an assignment, his whole body relaxes underneath me. I cup his pecs with my hands and run my tongue along the lower edge, teasing his nipples with a nip of my teeth and then flicking my thumb across the tips as I kiss my way back up to his mouth. He lifts his head to meet me and strains up to devour my mouth, but he keeps his hands in place. I let my fingers tease across his collar bones, down the sensitive skin under his arms. My fingers work feather light circles around his pecs, and then, as he exhales and settles into the mattress a little deeper, I bring my mouth to one of his nipples, first sucking lightly then drawing it into my mouth as I flick my tongue over the tight point. My other hand brushes the opposite side and Nick begins to whine. It is obvious that this man has never had his chest appropriately attended to and someone needs to be arrested for that crime. Fortunately for his previous sex partners, I am a little too occupied to put out an APB on their unappreciative asses right now. I suck at him hard and keep my fingers working and his forearms strain as he grips the spindles above his head.
“What are you doing?” he whines, lifting his head to look at me as I move my mouth to the other side.
“I’m worshiping your chest.”
“Is that what that’s called,” he says in a weak voice as he drops back onto the pillow.
“Yes,” I give him a light pinch, “May I continue?”
“Yes…yes please….” The unveiled need in his tone does something to me, and I return to his body with renewed hunger to taste him. Soon my own arousal is compelling me to rut against his thigh.
“Can I touch you?” Nick’s voice is husky. I response I take one of his hands from above his head and bring it to cup my erection. When he traces the waistband of my briefs with his fingertip I reach down and shimmy them off. He rests my shaft on his palm and squeezes my balls lightly with his fingertips.
“I’d like to put this in my mouth.” He squeezes me tighter.
“That sounds delightful,” I murmur. I expect him to lay me down on my back but instead he grabs me by the waist and drags me up over his chest so that I am kneeling over his face. He presses his mouth to the skin just above my hole, slowly moving his lips up along my sack, gently sucking in the skin and rolling my balls in his mouth. Just when I wonder if it the skin on my cock might spontaneously ignite from the delicious wet heat Nick’s tongue is creating between my legs he lifts me up, tips his head back and draws me into his mouth. The angle he holds me at allows him to take me so deeply into his throat I pull back after only a few thrusts, not wanting to spill my load in his mouth.
I wiggle out of his grasp and move down between his legs. When I reach for his boxers, his whole body tenses for a second. I hesitate, then very slowly ease the elastic down over his hips to reveal the largest cock I have ever witnessed in person. It strains at low angle toward his navel, being pulled down by its own weight, the base so wide I’m sure I won’t be able to close my grip around it. A pearl of moisture glistens at the tip of a broad head that is proportional to the rest of the organ, so in other words, humongous. Nick lets out a slow exhale as he watches my face with…well not what I would expect from one revealing a prize such as this. Instead of arrogance or even smug confidence he looks concerned, maybe a little….embarrassed? Wait…this? This is what he’s self conscious about? I crawl back up over his chest, planting a few soft kisses along the way, until we are nose to nose.
“You are amazing,” I tell him as my hand makes contact with his shaft, holding his gaze as I speak. I kiss him again try to show him how I am taken by all of him. He is amazing, all of him, not just his giant cock. He shudders out an exhale as I take him in a firm grasp and stroke. I was right, my fingers don’t reach around his girth. “I’m going down on you,” I tell him and lick the tip of his nose, “Any objections?” I run my thumb over his slit and slick the precum around his head.
“No….objections…..”
I grab his ankles and plant them on the bed, spreading his legs wide. I stroke my fingers down his thighs and watch him tense with anticipation as I come closer to his midline, then shudder in frustration as I move away. I settle myself between his legs and run my mouth down his inner thighs, planting soft kisses as I go and occasionally pulling at the sensitive skin with my teeth. His skin feels almost electric under my touch, like a magnet drawing us together. It pulls at my own cock, but the small whimpering noise Nick makes when I flick my tongue over the smooth skin under his sac makes me want to feed his desire before I indulge my own.
He tries to lie still, and I can see the muscles of his thighs twitch I suck on his sack, his large cock wavering above, desperate for attention. When I run my tongue down to taste the musk of his tight hole he arches his back to press into my mouth but makes a noise like he is in pain.
“Ok?” I ask as I pull away.
“Uhhh-huhhh…It’s just been a while since any one….keep going…I mean…please…” I trace the puckered skin with my fingers, slick with my spit, “Oh God that’s good….”
I press a fingertip against Nick’s opening and he pushes against me as my finger glides in. The heat of him sends a jolt to my already throbbing cock, and I shift my hips to stop myself from rutting on the sheets. I return my mouth to his hole and work in a second spit slicked finger. Nick whines things like ‘oh God’ and ‘don’t stop’ to encourage me but is eventually reduced to just softly moaning as I ply him with my fingers. When he moves his hand to stroke himself I grab his wrist and pull him off, resulting in a groan of frustration and a flex of his internal muscles that pulls at my hand. I can see precum beading up at the tip of the enormous head of his cock, and I press my fingers onto his prostate and I am rewarded with a guttural “ohhhhhhfuuuuuucckkkkkk…”
The sight of his arousal over comes my restraint and I suck his swollen head into my mouth. The edges of my lips stretch wide and I take in as much as I can. The heat of him in my mouth and the molten velvet of his hole on my fingers makes me dizzy with need.
“Condoms and lube?” I ask with my lips against his shaft.
“In the bathroom.” The bathroom? Who keeps that stuff 20 feet from the place it will be used?
“I’ll get them.” He starts to get up.
“Don’t move. I like you right where you are.”
He is mumbling something about a top left drawer but I am too desperate with the need to be inside him to take direction. I ransack his bathroom, pulling out random drawers and shuffling through the contents until I locate a strip of condoms and a bottle of an organic personal lubricant. I tear open one of the foil wrappers and sheath myself as I return to the bed. Nick has remained where I left him, and I can feel his need for me pulsing with my own. I pump some lube on my fingers and grease his hole. My fingers slip into his heat and my cock swells in anticipation.
“Turn over sweetheart,” I tell him and Nick turns to position himself on his knees and elbows, presenting the incredible round globes of his muscular ass and his hole that shimmers with lube. I trace his crack with my tip of my cock until I sink into the divot of puckered skin, then I rock into the tight band of muscle, letting Nick’s body open up to take me. When I have pushed myself into him completely, I lean forward to press a kiss at the center of his wide back and he shudders and clenches around me. I put some lube on my hand and reach around to slick up his immense cock, so long it presses into the bed sheets. My cock is practically vibrating with the need to pound into him, but I resist the urge and just move slowly inside him as my fingers run along his shaft, learning the contours of the veins along his length. The head of his cock is full and tight and I cup my palm around it and milk the tip of him until he is cursing and shaking.
“Fuck…Pete…ohhhhh….Fuck…..” The timbre of his voice rising until he sounds desperate and I can no longer resist the molten heat of his body that engulfs me. With one hand still working him, I glide into his hole with a slow rhythm that has us both moaning. As a the heat of a climax starts to spiral within me, I place one foot along side him, allowing me to lay over his back and jack him with firm strokes. I adjust my position and grip in response to his deep groans and soon he is clenching on me and crying out in time with my thrusts.
“Oh….God….oh God….oh Pete…..” Nick’s large body shudders and I have to dig my fingers into his hips to stay inside him as he grunts and spasms with his climax. The rhythmic squeeze of his internal muscles milk my shaft and a few more thrusts have me shaking with my own release.
