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The Infamous Pissy Attitude

Nomenclature

Nomenclature

Problem?
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You're talking with a guy for awhile, and you're off to a great start:

You laugh and joke around.

You seem to enjoy each other's company.

You try to continue this.


One day, he begins to have a pissy attitude with you, but you write it off as "Just a bad day", and try to overlook it. You attempt to talk and joke around the way you always have, but he still has a distant and pissy attitude with you every time you talk.



What the hell is it with guys doing this? Is it really just an "I'm done talking to you, but I want to make you stop talking to me on your own" thing?



It just seems that every time I feel like I have a connection with a guy, he eventually develops exactly the same attitude: distant and sarcastic. . .regardless of what I do. Before this, we're both a barrel of smiles, flirts and sexual behavior. . .but then I always get this impression like i'm being told "Eh, fuck Off".
 
A pissy attitude is always rude and shallow, no matter the circumstances. These mindless head games are commonplace in the bars and easily dismissed there. But when it is coming from people you know, it is concerning. If this is happening "every time", you may wish to reflect on how you are acting. You may be doing something or saying something without even realizing that it may be turning the guys off. Yes, the pissy attitude seems to be a barrier to something and it may be the only way they know to stop it. If this is really a common behavior among ALL the guys you come in contact with, something is clearly wrong and the common denominator may be you. Just sayin....
 
If you treated those guys anything like you treated that guy you made the other thread about (the work guy) I wouldn't be surprised if you got back some attitude. If you leave someone hanging too long, they will lose interest.

It would be ideal if they could be more mature about their unhappiness with you. In fact, it may be better that nothing develops with these guys because you're better off with positive and perhaps more forward guys in your life that will make the first move.
 
Nomenclature said:
What the hell is it with guys doing this? Is it really just an "I'm done talking to you, but I want to make you stop talking to me on your own" thing?
Click to expand...

Ask him.

Not us.

Him.
 
As KaraBulut said, ask him. Better yet, just write him off and don't be bothered with him anymore. Life is too short to put up with people who play games or act like jerks.
 
altlover85 said:
If you treated those guys anything like you treated that guy you made the other thread about (the work guy) I wouldn't be surprised if you got back some attitude. If you leave someone hanging too long, they will lose interest.
Click to expand...


That's really a different situation we're talking about here:


Since it involved my work. . .a.k.a my livelihood in this Depression-era Economy, I didn't want to potentially risk everything by not only outing myself to a family of conservative people, but also making a serious move on him and have to face the potential reality of him saying "Oh. . .i'm not gay. . ."; If things got too awkward, I could lose the job and not be able to pay rent, bills or afford to move.
You have to admit that's a complicated gamble that not too many people in my situation would act on, right?

Or maybe I was just a complete jerk for trying to TALK TO HIM, flirt back and give it time to see if there was really an attraction there; to see where it would go, if anywhere. :p





The other guys did NOT involve my work. We were openly flirting back-and-forth, we enjoyed talking to one another, they expressed it and we talked about meeting up sometime soon. . . then they just get cold, back off and have a put-downish, sarcastic attitude with everything I say to them.




And then I find out they're talking to someone else, or they decided to get back with their ex or whatever. That's what i'm referring to. Why do guys have to have the first instinct of "Be an asshole", instead of - like you said - being mature enough to just say what happened?
 
this is probably not what you want to hear, but if this keeps happening, its you, not them. sure, they could be expressing their feelings in a more mature way, but ultimately its probably something about your behaviour that puts people off.

what exactly is it? agree with kara: ask them, and tell them to be brutally honest. not necessarily to "win them back", but to avoid it in the future.
 
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