I think it was the coke. They say drugs can reveal things to you. We were on the front porch smoking and he asked me can I ask you something personal, the question you always ask someone to let them know you really want to know the truth and you are not fucking around. You only ever break out this phrase for truly close friends, people you have known a long time. The "personal question" question, when employed correctly, should not elicit replies such as, "you just did," or the like; if this is the response, then that should be taken as a "no", because the subject is either not up for that kind of truthiness, or just not the right kind of person to be asking personal questions. So he asks me can I ask you a personal question and I say yeah. He asks, "Have you ever thought about doing something sexual with another guy?"
At this point in my life, I had not had any sexual or romantic thoughts or experiences with regard to guys, but I had always thought of myself as open-minded and willing to give almost anything a try. Besides, I think we had had this conversation before while tripping. "Yes.", I said. "You?", wanting to make sure I wasn't alone in this, I mean hell, you asked me, right? If I asked you, "Do you play Call of Duty online?", out of the blue, doesn't it logically follow that I too, play Call of Duty online and I'm looking for new friends to play with? He replies, "Yeah."
Then he changed my world. He looked me right in my windows, and said, "I could tell." All of a sudden, this friend, this really cool bro with a dope wardrobe and some sweet toys, this awesome pal who tended bar at everyone's favorite summertime party spot and had a way with the ladies, this badass dude who had the hookup and loved to party even more than I did, this guy told me he could see me better than I saw me. And so I saw him as I never had before, as a complex, perceptive, soulful, beautiful man. And I wanted, more than anything else at that moment, to kiss him on the mouth.
Gentle caresses followed by a warm, wet meeting of lips and tongues accompanied by fingers through short hair and embraces around solid, lean shoulders. Urgent clutchings and holdings, as though grappling with each other and our newfound affection. A symphony of whirlwind sensations and feelings the likes of which I had never known, the tingle. I imagined all of this and looked at him from across the porch. Then we went inside.
At this point in my life, I had not had any sexual or romantic thoughts or experiences with regard to guys, but I had always thought of myself as open-minded and willing to give almost anything a try. Besides, I think we had had this conversation before while tripping. "Yes.", I said. "You?", wanting to make sure I wasn't alone in this, I mean hell, you asked me, right? If I asked you, "Do you play Call of Duty online?", out of the blue, doesn't it logically follow that I too, play Call of Duty online and I'm looking for new friends to play with? He replies, "Yeah."
Then he changed my world. He looked me right in my windows, and said, "I could tell." All of a sudden, this friend, this really cool bro with a dope wardrobe and some sweet toys, this awesome pal who tended bar at everyone's favorite summertime party spot and had a way with the ladies, this badass dude who had the hookup and loved to party even more than I did, this guy told me he could see me better than I saw me. And so I saw him as I never had before, as a complex, perceptive, soulful, beautiful man. And I wanted, more than anything else at that moment, to kiss him on the mouth.
Gentle caresses followed by a warm, wet meeting of lips and tongues accompanied by fingers through short hair and embraces around solid, lean shoulders. Urgent clutchings and holdings, as though grappling with each other and our newfound affection. A symphony of whirlwind sensations and feelings the likes of which I had never known, the tingle. I imagined all of this and looked at him from across the porch. Then we went inside.