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The most un-perfect situation

Twinky1991

Twinky1991

Joined
May 3, 2011
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Hey guys haven't been around in a while so thought I would come back with a dilemma...Alright so I have a friend, not my best friend, but a very good friend none of the less. We hang out sometimes and have been to a few movies together as a group sort of thing though...He's really into fishing and hunting which I can't say I'm too excited about but still that manly side of him is probably what attracted me to him in the first place. He also has a very nice body (unfortunately I've only seen him in his boxers) and he's really cute...I also have a really good relationship with his parents and that's deffinetly something I don't wanna give up. He goes to my church which makes the situation a little bit harder for me not that our church isn't gay friendly, they certainly are...however he, I fear is homophobic and he has dated girls in the past...as you can imagine if I even hinted to him that I liked him I certainly would never see him again...so what's the best idea here try to break through and see if he is hiding something or if maybe he is confused or leave it alone and accept the fact that he is yet another Straight guy that I have fallen for?
 
Sorry man, if he's straight then I would suggest you just forget about him. His being straight means that, he likes girls not boys, so no matter how much you like him he won't reciprocate those feelings. Don't waste your energy. Find somebody that wants YOU.
 
So you have absolutely no reason to think he's gay/bi, and even if he were, interested in you.

Sit down with yourself, and seriously ask yourself how pursuing this is going to end.

Do you want to torture yourself?
 
TX-Beau said:
So you have absolutely no reason to think he's gay/bi, and even if he were, interested in you.

Sit down with yourself, and seriously ask yourself how pursuing this is going to end.

Do you want to torture yourself?
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Well I have a terrible radar when it comes to that stuff...idk he just seems confused..but you are right I should just leave it be and stop the wishful thinking..
 
Hey, fuck him in your head all you want. Just don't mistake that for reality.

I get dirty thoughts about straight guys all the damn time - but I don't pretend they're possible, and I don't try to convince myself they're real or reciprocated.
 
TX-Beau said:
Hey, fuck him in your head all you want. Just don't mistake that for reality.

I get dirty thoughts about straight guys all the damn time - but I don't pretend they're possible, and I don't try to convince myself they're real or reciprocated.
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Haha nice...I am getting kind of tired of the same damn thing though...I have way too many straight friends lol
 
The only way to get a guy, or hell, even a good fuck is to put yourself out there with other guys of like mind.
 
^^^^^^^
Some great advice from the above posters if we are honest we have all
been there m8 but , yep i would not pursue this anywhere else but in my
head when having a good old *|* , life can be kinda shitty sometimes.
 
Stay friends. Don't confess an attraction. Work on that attraction so you use it as an example of what you like in a gay, rather than focusing on liking him in a romantic way. Come out to him once that attraction has dissipated.

Closeted guys are more prone to being attracted to friends because they want to pretend the friend shares the SECRET and then without any risk the two can walk into the sunset.

Many, many gay guys have been where you are. I'm not about to push anyone out of the closet and I understand where you are at, but most people have built in boundaries with friends, which actually allows for non-sexual intimacy. So I would suggest you work on two things, your boundaries and having a safe gay outlet.

I wish you well. I know that this isn't easy from the closet.
 
Seasoned said:
Stay friends. Don't confess an attraction. Work on that attraction so you use it as an example of what you like in a gay, rather than focusing on liking him in a romantic way. Come out to him once that attraction has dissipated.

Closeted guys are more prone to being attracted to friends because they want to pretend the friend shares the SECRET and then without any risk the two can walk into the sunset.

Many, many gay guys have been where you are. I'm not about to push anyone out of the closet and I understand where you are at, but most people have built in boundaries with friends, which actually allows for non-sexual intimacy. So I would suggest you work on two things, your boundaries and having a safe gay outlet.

I wish you well. I know that this isn't easy from the closet.
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I've been meaning to come out..just don't want to come out to the wrong person you know...thank you though your advice helps a lot!...
 
Here is my take on your issue. First, stay friends and don't burn any bridges so to speak. In fact, use this to add strength to your friendship by showing interests in the things he does. Second, is there a need for him to know you're gay? If the answer is no then leave it at that. Lastly, do what you feel is RIGHT for the sake of it being the right thing and not because you have a crush on him. The ball is then in his court. If he chooses to break off the friendship due to your orientation, then he wasn't the friend you thought he was.
 
TNniceguy said:
Here is my take on your issue. First, stay friends and don't burn any bridges so to speak. In fact, use this to add strength to your friendship by showing interests in the things he does. Second, is there a need for him to know you're gay? If the answer is no then leave it at that. Lastly, do what you feel is RIGHT for the sake of it being the right thing and not because you have a crush on him. The ball is then in his court. If he chooses to break off the friendship due to your orientation, then he wasn't the friend you thought he was.
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Yeah...I just act so straight all the time it would probably shock him..I was gonna post a pic of him here lol but I prob shouldn't..
 
Right, and how can you be someone's friend if you think you have to lie to them in order to remain so?
 
Nope. It is unethical to post pictures of people on here without their knowledge or consent. We won't complain if you post more pictures of yourself though. ;)

As for your issue, a lot of good advice has been given already. I agree with the above advice that this infatuation is based on your own closet sexuality where you are gravitating sexually towards friendships that you have limited to a heterosexual background. The solution is to find gay friends. I'm sure your tech savvy enough to know how to work that out.
 
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