Hey guys,
I'm new here!! I know its a cliche to say this but I've been reading JUB for months but never felt like I have something important to say or something that people would care to read. But now I realised that this place is not only about what I can contribute, I think that by just writing on the forum would help me to grow as a person and it would be a place where I could learn aout who I am as a person. I really need a place that I'm free to express myself, be myself, be accepted, not be judged and just to have a sense of community.
So here's my life story. I think I was "straight" when I was young, I could remember having crushes on little girls. When I was 10, my cousin's husband was touching my penis when I fell asleep. Mind you, but I've never masturbated before this, yes, he introduced it to me. Back to the story, so I obviously realised when he was touching me, but I pretended to be asleep. Then, I came. I pushed his hand away, not knowing what I was feeling/what happened. I just knew it was the best feeling in the world. I went to clean up immediately. In the next few months, I went back for more sessions, I pretended to sleep everytime, he knew that I was into it. When he got a divorce for some reason (I'm sure not for molesting me, because my cousin never brought it up with me, I'm glad she never found out), I got high from DIY
fastasizing about him, he was not bad looking, quite built. I guess that when I became "bi". I started to notice that I'm attracted to some guys.
Then I turned 13, had my first girlfriend, it was a relationship that didn't spawn from physical attraction, it was just that we were such good friends, it spew from rumours and beer. It lasted 2 years where we met sporadically, exchanged "love" letters which is adorable but dumb. I let on a girl who could have wasted her time with other things. Every year from then on, I had somehow "fell" for a different girl, I really thought they were pretty, but I never wanted to fuck them. I think my friends all know that I'm gayish but I made sure they knew who my girl "targets" were that year. I never had any luck/balls to go up to them to tell them that I'm interested.
Then, college rolled around I fell head over heels for this girl, this girl I wanted to fuck, I started to watch porn (straight porn). She led me on for sometime and she broke it off giving me some lame excuse. I had the worst heartbreak in my life. I was in deep depression for 6 months. I started to be more attracted to guys.
Then, I went to uni where I met this guy K, he was handsome as hell, adorable, his smile was like sunshine, liked the same things. I somehow got him to room with me with some of my other friends. It was not long before he and one of the girls began a relationship, I kinda had a hand in hooking them up. Months passed where our friendship grew. I genuinely thinks he is a really good guy, my attraction to K grew stronger and stronger, but we were just friends and there's nothing I think I could do to change that.
K was never really a masculine guy, he is more in touch with his feminine side than he thinks he is (I would say 60/40). But I love him for that. One night, when he was bathing I went to see what sites he visits on his leisure time... and I found what I was looking for (A gay site!). Then that night I didn't waste anytime to hint him that I'm interested, I've waited tooo long and I couldn't bare another minute. That night was the first night that I asked him does he mind that I was masturbating in the dark. He said he would be fine by it. The next nght I got him to masturbate together. When he took his dick out OMG it was huge. I was ready to blow it right there, but I was still playing the straight card with him, but I proposed if he would like to give me a hand, he oblidged! OMG I've finally found the feeling that i lost 10 years ago, but this time it was from someone I really like. The next few weeks we have our sessions when we think the rest was asleep, it develope into fondling each other having frotting sessions. Both of us were in denial that what we really really wanted to do was just fucking each others brains out. I started giving him blowjobs and was hinting for a kiss, but he has always rejected it.
Knowing that he was still in a relationship with a girl, I feel bad about what I do, but in love I think there's no right or wrong, if two people really do like each other they should be allowed to be together, even it means that its on the down low. I had my first kiss when I was 22, it took me forever to get him to get pass his guilt of cheating (because fondling was fine by him but kissing was a no-no, he has never been with another guy). He said he LOVED me and that's why he gave in. Did I mentioned that he loves me? hehe... I love him too =) Every night, I'll crawl into his bed and have make out sessions. Nothing penetrative, because we promised that we wouldn't do that because we wanted to have a wife and kids in the future and not do something that we would regret.
But one fine day, I offered sex and I dunno what happened next. The beast in him came out, he was so ready, he knew exactly what to do, he got a condom and had some lube. And that was when I lost my virginity, I felt a sharp pain but we kept trying
until he got it right. He told me that he has always wanted me badly, I wish that what ever he tells me is real because I have never been so in love. 
K is a great top, and I'm really more of a bottom coz I don't have the instinct of topping. But I make sure that I get to top when I want to because I don't want to feel like a girl in the relationship.
Time flew by and we have different paths and we are now in different cities, trying to make this work, but long distance relationship could sometimes fall apart. K is a very jealous guy to start with, I like to think that I've given him assurance that my wandering eye is just a birth defect and I wouldn't act on it because the person that I stand to lose is too important to me. So, we would try to meet up when we can and go to hotels for a quick fuck every few months, something that is both magical and lovely when all we could do is call/text/webcam. I know for a fact that is not enough for him, he is a sex maniac. When he needs it and if he's deprived of it, he would go crazy. While I'm just horny all the time and I could just, and it would enough for me. Btw, our anniversary is coming up, I don't know what to get him. But I want to make it special. Give me ideas JUBbers! Babe, I know you would be reading this, don't get too excited with the suggestions.
So there's my story. I am happy that I have a boyfriend of nearly 2 years, I call him my hubby because there would be a day the world would change and see homosexual relationships to be the same as other relationships, all founded from the basis of love. And that there is all there is in life.
I'm new here!! I know its a cliche to say this but I've been reading JUB for months but never felt like I have something important to say or something that people would care to read. But now I realised that this place is not only about what I can contribute, I think that by just writing on the forum would help me to grow as a person and it would be a place where I could learn aout who I am as a person. I really need a place that I'm free to express myself, be myself, be accepted, not be judged and just to have a sense of community.
So here's my life story. I think I was "straight" when I was young, I could remember having crushes on little girls. When I was 10, my cousin's husband was touching my penis when I fell asleep. Mind you, but I've never masturbated before this, yes, he introduced it to me. Back to the story, so I obviously realised when he was touching me, but I pretended to be asleep. Then, I came. I pushed his hand away, not knowing what I was feeling/what happened. I just knew it was the best feeling in the world. I went to clean up immediately. In the next few months, I went back for more sessions, I pretended to sleep everytime, he knew that I was into it. When he got a divorce for some reason (I'm sure not for molesting me, because my cousin never brought it up with me, I'm glad she never found out), I got high from DIY
fastasizing about him, he was not bad looking, quite built. I guess that when I became "bi". I started to notice that I'm attracted to some guys. Then I turned 13, had my first girlfriend, it was a relationship that didn't spawn from physical attraction, it was just that we were such good friends, it spew from rumours and beer. It lasted 2 years where we met sporadically, exchanged "love" letters which is adorable but dumb. I let on a girl who could have wasted her time with other things. Every year from then on, I had somehow "fell" for a different girl, I really thought they were pretty, but I never wanted to fuck them. I think my friends all know that I'm gayish but I made sure they knew who my girl "targets" were that year. I never had any luck/balls to go up to them to tell them that I'm interested.
Then, college rolled around I fell head over heels for this girl, this girl I wanted to fuck, I started to watch porn (straight porn). She led me on for sometime and she broke it off giving me some lame excuse. I had the worst heartbreak in my life. I was in deep depression for 6 months. I started to be more attracted to guys.
Then, I went to uni where I met this guy K, he was handsome as hell, adorable, his smile was like sunshine, liked the same things. I somehow got him to room with me with some of my other friends. It was not long before he and one of the girls began a relationship, I kinda had a hand in hooking them up. Months passed where our friendship grew. I genuinely thinks he is a really good guy, my attraction to K grew stronger and stronger, but we were just friends and there's nothing I think I could do to change that.
K was never really a masculine guy, he is more in touch with his feminine side than he thinks he is (I would say 60/40). But I love him for that. One night, when he was bathing I went to see what sites he visits on his leisure time... and I found what I was looking for (A gay site!). Then that night I didn't waste anytime to hint him that I'm interested, I've waited tooo long and I couldn't bare another minute. That night was the first night that I asked him does he mind that I was masturbating in the dark. He said he would be fine by it. The next nght I got him to masturbate together. When he took his dick out OMG it was huge. I was ready to blow it right there, but I was still playing the straight card with him, but I proposed if he would like to give me a hand, he oblidged! OMG I've finally found the feeling that i lost 10 years ago, but this time it was from someone I really like. The next few weeks we have our
sessions when we think the rest was asleep, it develope into fondling each other having frotting sessions. Both of us were in denial that what we really really wanted to do was just fucking each others brains out. I started giving him blowjobs and was hinting for a kiss, but he has always rejected it.Knowing that he was still in a relationship with a girl, I feel bad about what I do, but in love I think there's no right or wrong, if two people really do like each other they should be allowed to be together, even it means that its on the down low. I had my first kiss when I was 22, it took me forever to get him to get pass his guilt of cheating (because fondling was fine by him but kissing was a no-no, he has never been with another guy). He said he LOVED me and that's why he gave in. Did I mentioned that he loves me? hehe... I love him too =) Every night, I'll crawl into his bed and have make out sessions. Nothing penetrative, because we promised that we wouldn't do that because we wanted to have a wife and kids in the future and not do something that we would regret.
But one fine day, I offered sex and I dunno what happened next. The beast in him came out, he was so ready, he knew exactly what to do, he got a condom and had some lube. And that was when I lost my virginity, I felt a sharp pain but we kept trying
until he got it right. He told me that he has always wanted me badly, I wish that what ever he tells me is real because I have never been so in love. K is a great top, and I'm really more of a bottom coz I don't have the instinct of topping. But I make sure that I get to top when I want to because I don't want to feel like a girl in the relationship.Time flew by and we have different paths and we are now in different cities, trying to make this work, but long distance relationship could sometimes fall apart. K is a very jealous guy to start with, I like to think that I've given him assurance that my wandering eye is just a birth defect and I wouldn't act on it because the person that I stand to lose is too important to me. So, we would try to meet up when we can and go to hotels for a quick fuck every few months, something that is both magical and lovely when all we could do is call/text/webcam. I know for a fact that is not enough for him, he is a sex maniac. When he needs it and if he's deprived of it, he would go crazy. While I'm just horny all the time and I could just
, and it would enough for me. Btw, our anniversary is coming up, I don't know what to get him. But I want to make it special. Give me ideas JUBbers! Babe, I know you would be reading this, don't get too excited with the suggestions. So there's my story. I am happy that I have a boyfriend of nearly 2 years, I call him my hubby because there would be a day the world would change and see homosexual relationships to be the same as other relationships, all founded from the basis of love. And that there is all there is in life.
. I've never done anything with my ex girl friend, not even kissing or holding hands. Mind you we were 13.
.hey there darvin firstly thank you for sharing your story to is basically a stranger. I remember a close friend saying to me once at uni adam grab any and all happiness that comes your way.At the time i thought the world was at my feet and did not pay much attention.Then i met the most wonderfull man from Adelaide like you i was unsure what to do because of this i ended up losing him and not a day goes by where i regret that. As 2 whether you are gay or bi i would just say that after our few chats it is so obvious 2 me that your lover gives you 99% of your needs and that you are both deeply in love.Though i would say that from what you said eg regarding monogamy ect that he is probably more terriefied of things going wrong than you.I think that you have to realise that you were both each others fist loves and that has one hell of a pull.m8 the only advice that i would be comfortable giving is 2 look at what you both have then ask yourself that same question am i gay or bi? To me you are both so lucky to have met but i think you realise that the future is not set in stone my advice would be 2 enjoy what seems a lovely relationship and 2 realise that you are 1 lucky fella.I hope this little chat has helped? Wishing you all the best m8. Adam x