Mirage
The JUB Illusion
The reason I'm not here a lot anymore was because of the problems I was having in my relationship. I handle the fact of living in a secret relationship which last for 9 months. Almost a week ago I went to my former boyfriend to tell him I'm losing myself as a person if this keeps going on. He told me that it's better to stop it right away.
We both cried for hours and he made it clear that he doesn't want to lose me as a close friend, something we've become as well in time. Except the fact that we're not a couple anymore, everything is and feels the same. We both love each other as much as before, if the feeling hasn't become stronger.
This is the second breakup for me within 14 months and I can't handle a third one for a long time. I've stated myself not to alow a new relationship this whole year. Until I've found a new love in my life or when my love went away towards my former partner, he can come back to me when he's ready to face the big bad world. Otherwise He'll lose me for good.
I still hope that he finds the courage to confront his fears and makes a lot of work out of it, because I don't want to live without him. He's one of a kind in a perfect combination. Something I fear I'll never experience again.
We both cried for hours and he made it clear that he doesn't want to lose me as a close friend, something we've become as well in time. Except the fact that we're not a couple anymore, everything is and feels the same. We both love each other as much as before, if the feeling hasn't become stronger.
This is the second breakup for me within 14 months and I can't handle a third one for a long time. I've stated myself not to alow a new relationship this whole year. Until I've found a new love in my life or when my love went away towards my former partner, he can come back to me when he's ready to face the big bad world. Otherwise He'll lose me for good.
I still hope that he finds the courage to confront his fears and makes a lot of work out of it, because I don't want to live without him. He's one of a kind in a perfect combination. Something I fear I'll never experience again.