Hey guys. This one i think is going to be long, so thank you already for reading 
Same old dilemma. I need your input about a boy who I really like but I'm just so confused!
So I recently moved to a new country to study. Everything was great. Meeting new people, a new place - the start of a new adventure. It was all new and it was everything that I wanted! We all had our intro days and all that so I met all the new international students who I would be studying with. Such a great experience.
I wasn't really there trying to 'spot' someone. I mean that wasn't my intention. I was out to make friends. And it was going great.
So one time, after school, a group just planned to get something to eat. So we all met up there and I got introduced to this guy, well, let's just call him Sam. I mean, i hadn't even noticed him before ( we had to introduce ourselves to the class in school) in the intro days and didn't think much of him on our first official meeting. So it definitely wasn't love or lust at first time. It was just neutral.
So we sat there, we were sitting in front of each other. Ordered food and we just kind of started to talking. And at the end of the meal, I think we both knew that we were on the same wavelength. We were laughing, dishing out our weird comments and jokes and we just laughed at what each other was saying. We just kind of got each other. I didn't expect it but definitely enjoyed his company.
So we exchanged numbers. Fast forward a week later and I get a text from him to just hangout and have something to eat again. Well, I was late this time but he was just there and was just teasing me about it. It was fun. So we did that and ended up doing random stuff.
So this continues. I get invited by him to hangout and do stuff. Which was quite consistent. We would go out for walks, go on a hike, sneak to a buffet together and eat together (sneaky) in a corner from one plate, buy each other drinks, have beer, chat, go to random places, share meals, eat together, have great conversations. At one of these times I come out to him. So he well knows I'm gay.
He's had girlfriends, actually quite a lot of them and we talk about it. We talk about his exploits and adventures and whatnot. And I talk to him about mine. And I really like that. We're so open to each other that we can talk about anything under the sun without feeling ashamed. And I REALLY value that and our friendship. Now, he's told me that he's willing to try it out with a guy BUT what he's afraid about is the 'what if' he likes it. And he has actually gone to an extent to go for it- he went with a guy after clubbing to this guy's hotel room. But when the guy started to touch him he just couldn't do it and just left. I think he just recently broke up with his non-serious 'girlfriend' as well.
We just do all these great adventures unplanned. And he's the one who initiates it. I get a call from him just asking me to say yes and just go. Which i like, because i need that nudge to do things I've never done before. another thing that i appreciate about him.
For example. One time we went on a hike. There were long walks and boat rides involved and some, i would say, cute moments. i loved it. I joke around with him about how romantic it is and he would just play along. So we got beer (he got chocolate, teased him how romantic he is) and decided to go up a hill. I joke around about how we would make out at the top. Anyway, so we got up there, talked and had beer and suggested we hug and make out which he just laughs to. It was getting cold so I put my arm around him. He said something along the lines of 'oh so this is you making a move now'. And I just kind of shrugged t and said I'm just being friendly - again, he is straight and wouldn't be my usual flirty self. Because the truth is, I really do see him as a friend before anything else.
So it starts to rain, and the next thing is he takes his top off. Of course he's beautiful. apparently so he can put his shirt in a bag so it doesnt get wet. So I do the same. And we wander around half naked under the rain.
There's also been times when we're just randomly standing on the street and some guy approaches us and asks us if we were a couple. And he steps in and says 'Yes'. Guy tells us we were cute together and tells me that i was probably the taker. So that was a laugh. I always kept asking him directly, why wasn't he gay?
Just this weekend, i got introduced to a friend of his visiting because he can't accommodate him as he went overseas for a few days. So this is a gay friend of his. Cut the story short, me and this friend had a really good time together. No sex, just great kind of a fake weekend romance (the guy was traveling and had a boyfriend back home). Didn't really mean anything but it was human interaction. Hugs, holding hands, cuddling on a spot overlooking the city… that sort of thing. And I told Sam all about it. He said I was in love, which I obviously am not. I think I'm just in love with the feeling to be honest. I liked that feeling of giving 'love' and receiving it. The romance. Really I crave for it.
So I said i really wanted another adventure again. Like the weekend, because i never did anything like that before.
This is when he suggests we should do something 'fun' soon. He went we should rent a car, he would drive and just go places. I'm all up for that.
Anyway, what i need your opinion about is how I should handle this. I mean, i think you all get that I really do like him as a friend. And I wouldn't do anything to ruin this. You might say I've already answered my question, but the thing is i really am confused about him and just maybe there's something there that I'm not reading because i'm really bad at this.
The way I think about it is that the balls it in his court and he should make the first move if anything is going to go forward. I really don't know what to do.
Should I make a clearer move? What to do?
As much as I like him as a friend and would like to keep it that way, I don't want to think about the 'what ifs' because I get that vibe from him (as well as my other classmates thinking that he has the potential to be interested as well).
So help me out here.
Sorry if it was long! but thanks for reading.
Really just want different points of view from the outside.
Best,
Me
Same old dilemma. I need your input about a boy who I really like but I'm just so confused!
So I recently moved to a new country to study. Everything was great. Meeting new people, a new place - the start of a new adventure. It was all new and it was everything that I wanted! We all had our intro days and all that so I met all the new international students who I would be studying with. Such a great experience.
I wasn't really there trying to 'spot' someone. I mean that wasn't my intention. I was out to make friends. And it was going great.
So one time, after school, a group just planned to get something to eat. So we all met up there and I got introduced to this guy, well, let's just call him Sam. I mean, i hadn't even noticed him before ( we had to introduce ourselves to the class in school) in the intro days and didn't think much of him on our first official meeting. So it definitely wasn't love or lust at first time. It was just neutral.
So we sat there, we were sitting in front of each other. Ordered food and we just kind of started to talking. And at the end of the meal, I think we both knew that we were on the same wavelength. We were laughing, dishing out our weird comments and jokes and we just laughed at what each other was saying. We just kind of got each other. I didn't expect it but definitely enjoyed his company.
So we exchanged numbers. Fast forward a week later and I get a text from him to just hangout and have something to eat again. Well, I was late this time but he was just there and was just teasing me about it. It was fun. So we did that and ended up doing random stuff.
So this continues. I get invited by him to hangout and do stuff. Which was quite consistent. We would go out for walks, go on a hike, sneak to a buffet together and eat together (sneaky) in a corner from one plate, buy each other drinks, have beer, chat, go to random places, share meals, eat together, have great conversations. At one of these times I come out to him. So he well knows I'm gay.
He's had girlfriends, actually quite a lot of them and we talk about it. We talk about his exploits and adventures and whatnot. And I talk to him about mine. And I really like that. We're so open to each other that we can talk about anything under the sun without feeling ashamed. And I REALLY value that and our friendship. Now, he's told me that he's willing to try it out with a guy BUT what he's afraid about is the 'what if' he likes it. And he has actually gone to an extent to go for it- he went with a guy after clubbing to this guy's hotel room. But when the guy started to touch him he just couldn't do it and just left. I think he just recently broke up with his non-serious 'girlfriend' as well.
We just do all these great adventures unplanned. And he's the one who initiates it. I get a call from him just asking me to say yes and just go. Which i like, because i need that nudge to do things I've never done before. another thing that i appreciate about him.
For example. One time we went on a hike. There were long walks and boat rides involved and some, i would say, cute moments. i loved it. I joke around with him about how romantic it is and he would just play along. So we got beer (he got chocolate, teased him how romantic he is) and decided to go up a hill. I joke around about how we would make out at the top. Anyway, so we got up there, talked and had beer and suggested we hug and make out which he just laughs to. It was getting cold so I put my arm around him. He said something along the lines of 'oh so this is you making a move now'. And I just kind of shrugged t and said I'm just being friendly - again, he is straight and wouldn't be my usual flirty self. Because the truth is, I really do see him as a friend before anything else.
So it starts to rain, and the next thing is he takes his top off. Of course he's beautiful. apparently so he can put his shirt in a bag so it doesnt get wet. So I do the same. And we wander around half naked under the rain.
There's also been times when we're just randomly standing on the street and some guy approaches us and asks us if we were a couple. And he steps in and says 'Yes'. Guy tells us we were cute together and tells me that i was probably the taker. So that was a laugh. I always kept asking him directly, why wasn't he gay?
Just this weekend, i got introduced to a friend of his visiting because he can't accommodate him as he went overseas for a few days. So this is a gay friend of his. Cut the story short, me and this friend had a really good time together. No sex, just great kind of a fake weekend romance (the guy was traveling and had a boyfriend back home). Didn't really mean anything but it was human interaction. Hugs, holding hands, cuddling on a spot overlooking the city… that sort of thing. And I told Sam all about it. He said I was in love, which I obviously am not. I think I'm just in love with the feeling to be honest. I liked that feeling of giving 'love' and receiving it. The romance. Really I crave for it.
So I said i really wanted another adventure again. Like the weekend, because i never did anything like that before.
This is when he suggests we should do something 'fun' soon. He went we should rent a car, he would drive and just go places. I'm all up for that.
Anyway, what i need your opinion about is how I should handle this. I mean, i think you all get that I really do like him as a friend. And I wouldn't do anything to ruin this. You might say I've already answered my question, but the thing is i really am confused about him and just maybe there's something there that I'm not reading because i'm really bad at this.
The way I think about it is that the balls it in his court and he should make the first move if anything is going to go forward. I really don't know what to do.
Should I make a clearer move? What to do?
As much as I like him as a friend and would like to keep it that way, I don't want to think about the 'what ifs' because I get that vibe from him (as well as my other classmates thinking that he has the potential to be interested as well).
So help me out here.
Sorry if it was long! but thanks for reading.
Really just want different points of view from the outside.
Best,
Me
