The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

They're starting to find out!!!! :(

Jo-thin

Jo-thin

Slut
Joined
May 3, 2008
Posts
204
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Hey guys!

I finally have a boyfriend! 2 weeks now! I'm so happy with him! I mean i didn't think I'd find the straight masculine like guy but they're out there guys!
But heres my maine problem! WE'RE TRYING TO HIDE OUT RELATIONSHIP!!! I'm not out, but he's out as bi! He told a couple of people that we're dating but more and more and more and MORE people are finding out!

What sucks is I'm in the music scene, the heavy metal scene as a guitarist and in a band, and who really accepts gays in the music scene here where I'm from! I have to hide it! When I told my boyfriend I was bi 2 weeks ago he was shocked himself! He didn't see it comin! The main person we're trying to hide it from is his cousin and hes my drummer!!! #-o Most people in his family knows but him and his parents, so my boyfriend feels guilty for not telling him! WHAT DO I DO!!!???

I mean we're happy together but I'm afraid this hiding shit will break it apart, so far it isn't like that but we can't hide it forever!!! I want to know if it's worth telling people, or will I just regret it! I DON'T KNOW guys I need support or some advice please HELP! :help:
 
First of all, Congratz on finding a masculine guy that you like! I am still in search of one haha.

But now, about your issue! I think you need to realize it's not about whether or not its is worth it to tell people, but what YOU will feel like once they know. Because from the looks of it, it seems like they ARE going to find out...you just have to decide if you want to try and hide it until everyone finds out from someone else...or if YOU want to be the one to tell them. And I am pretty sure you would feel better if you told people yourself...and not just have news spread as a rumor.
 
just be honest and upfront,

you will probably lost some friends but hey, you will then know who are real to you and who isn't.

unless you prefer to live a life with so much worries and deceits.
 
robdrake said:
just be honest and upfront,

you will probably lost some friends but hey, you will then know who are real to you and who isn't.

unless you prefer to live a life with so much worries and deceits.
Click to expand...

I agree with this. If you don't "come clean" about all this, eventually, the relationship will fall apart IMO due to all this lying and hiding 'cause this creates a lot of problems in time...not only in the relationship between you two and other people.
 
Can I just say your post is about the LEAST heavy metal thing I've ever read? Not the fact that you've got a boyfriend (ask Rob Halford if you don't believe me), but that you're scared of people finding out.

Metal isn't about guys liking girls. It's about attitude. It's about grabbing life by the balls. It's about defiantly standing up to the demons, both figurative and literal. In your case, grabbing life by the balls might give you a hard-on. And you might defiantly tell the demon, "I want to bend you over the altar and fuck you senseless". One might say that makes you even more metal than anyone else in the band. :)

You're gay. Big fucking deal. OWN it. Your friends, your bandmates, your fans (if any) are going to take a cue from you. If you push your guy aside, giggle and say "Nothing to see here!", they'll pick up on that. Don't do it. Take him to rehearsal. Introduce him - "This is Bob. He wanted to see us in action." If they ask (afterwards), "Who's that Bob guy?", tell them. "He's my boyfriend. He kicks ass." Because he does. :)

Lex
 
G-Lexington said:
Can I just say your post is about the LEAST heavy metal thing I've ever read? Not the fact that you've got a boyfriend (ask Rob Halford if you don't believe me), but that you're scared of people finding out.

Metal isn't about guys liking girls. It's about attitude. It's about grabbing life by the balls. It's about defiantly standing up to the demons, both figurative and literal. In your case, grabbing life by the balls might give you a hard-on. And you might defiantly tell the demon, "I want to bend you over the altar and fuck you senseless". One might say that makes you even more metal than anyone else in the band. :)

You're gay. Big fucking deal. OWN it. Your friends, your bandmates, your fans (if any) are going to take a cue from you. If you push your guy aside, giggle and say "Nothing to see here!", they'll pick up on that. Don't do it. Take him to rehearsal. Introduce him - "This is Bob. He wanted to see us in action." If they ask (afterwards), "Who's that Bob guy?", tell them. "He's my boyfriend. He kicks ass." Because he does. :)

Lex
Click to expand...

This is absolutely one of the best responses I have ever read...wow G-Lex!!! I am not so heavy metal in attitude and it inspired ME!!! ..|
 
G-Lexington said:
Can I just say your post is about the LEAST heavy metal thing I've ever read? Not the fact that you've got a boyfriend (ask Rob Halford if you don't believe me), but that you're scared of people finding out.

Metal isn't about guys liking girls. It's about attitude. It's about grabbing life by the balls. It's about defiantly standing up to the demons, both figurative and literal. In your case, grabbing life by the balls might give you a hard-on. And you might defiantly tell the demon, "I want to bend you over the altar and fuck you senseless". One might say that makes you even more metal than anyone else in the band. :)

You're gay. Big fucking deal. OWN it. Your friends, your bandmates, your fans (if any) are going to take a cue from you. If you push your guy aside, giggle and say "Nothing to see here!", they'll pick up on that. Don't do it. Take him to rehearsal. Introduce him - "This is Bob. He wanted to see us in action." If they ask (afterwards), "Who's that Bob guy?", tell them. "He's my boyfriend. He kicks ass." Because he does. :)

Lex
Click to expand...



HAHAH WOW! Thats so true!
I did do alot of thinking and yeah Imma tell people.....
But I noticed that I come c;ean when they ask me instead of
me just saying "HEY I'M GAY" its really hard for to say or even
bring up! In a way I'd rather have people find out and come ask
me about it! I'll give em the answer thats true!

Yeah Rob Halford is the perfect example that you can use in
this situatuion! Thanks lex! and the rest of u guys for the help! :)
 
It's OK if you don't want to shout it from the rooftops, but it's pretty easy to fall into the "aversion game" if you decide to only say when asked. That's when you nudge the conversation away when you feel it's heading in that direction. Resolve not to do that.

Here's probably the best way to go - act like everybody already knows. Don't "refrain from mentioning". Straight guys don't avoid saying they're dating somebody, so if it comes up, take it.

"You wanna see that Twilight movie?"
"Nah, Bob and I saw it last night."
"...who's Bob?"
(with a "duh" expression) "My boyfriend. Haven't you met him?"

Lex
 
""" What sucks is I'm in the music scene, the heavy metal scene as a guitarist and in a band, and who really accepts gays in the music scene here where I'm from! I have to hide it! When I told my boyfriend I was bi 2 weeks ago he was shocked himself! He didn't see it comin! The main person we're trying to hide it from is his cousin and hes my drummer!!! """

So did you already know he was bi or did you ask him then reveal you were bi also? I have a friend who I think is bi or gay who's been drumming for me at some of my bands shows and I'm dying to figure it out but don't want to run the risk of freaking him out or losing a friend in the process.
How'd did you approach it? and why did you think he was bi in the first place?
 
plenty of guys in the heavy metal scene are bi and gay. you'd be surprised
 
yuengling said:
""" What sucks is I'm in the music scene, the heavy metal scene as a guitarist and in a band, and who really accepts gays in the music scene here where I'm from! I have to hide it! When I told my boyfriend I was bi 2 weeks ago he was shocked himself! He didn't see it comin! The main person we're trying to hide it from is his cousin and hes my drummer!!! """

So did you already know he was bi or did you ask him then reveal you were bi also? I have a friend who I think is bi or gay who's been drumming for me at some of my bands shows and I'm dying to figure it out but don't want to run the risk of freaking him out or losing a friend in the process.
How'd did you approach it? and why did you think he was bi in the first place?
Click to expand...
yeah well I found out he was bi on a dtaing website!
If lex remebers one of ,y old threads it was about him! So he we were chattin on myspace and he asked me if I was sure if I was ok if he was bi and I was like "yeah man no problem for me"
the he replied taliking about how depressed he is about not havin a boyfriend, that he gave up on girls. So I was like "you know Imma tell him that I'm gay/bi" and hes the 3rd person I came out to! and we're now dating! Like things couldn't get better! I mean wow our relationship is deep and real... never saw this coming!
Wish id come out to him earlier!
 
^ It doesn't matter. You've got him now. Just don't jeopardize it because of what your drummer might think. :)

Lex
 
YOU'RE RIGHT MAN!
We're going to tell my drummer atleast before 09!
And I'll pOst how that went!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top