Thinking about coming out to family kinda nervous

[dizzzy]

I never told anyone or family or friends. Ya know when you are younger and maybe confused normally you'll keep it to yourself.

Even as a child I had an attraction to guys and girls. Over the years I kinda kept the attarction for guys buried. Not sure how my friends would react. We were teens and you know how teens say things. So I thought it would be best to keep shut.

Even after my teen years I kept quite. But as I got older it got harder to ignore it. Still tried to keep it locked inside not knowing how people would react to it.

I haven't said anything mainly because for starters I have never been with a guy, so there wasn't a need to say anything. And since I also have an attraction for women, why say something if who knows maybe I won't hook up with a guy.

So now I'm at this point to where I can't lie to myself anymore. I'm still into women, but I find myself seemignly more sexually attracted to men.

This may not mean anything, but I can get turned on looking at a girl naked, but I get turned on faster by naked men. Both excite me, but more and more I have noticed the guy gets me hard a lot quicker.

Maybe it doesn't mean anything, maybe it does. And the reason I am thinking about saying something is I don't want to just spring it on. I mean I am a private person. Even with girls I don't feel the need to tell anyone who I am seeing. When they meet her they meet her.

So now if I get with a guy, it's like yeah I'm seeing him and and I like sucking dick more LOL Obviously I wouldn't say that, but you all get the point.

Right now I'm not looking for anything serious so I suppose I don't have to say anything. I'm not ready for anything serious with anyone.

I'm not ready to stop hooking up with women since I still like them, but I don't want anything serious with a woman either since I also like guys.

So I don't have to say anything, but I would like to tell someone that I not only like women, but men as well.

 

[G-Lexington]

Hey there. Do you have any friends you might confide in, or talk to about this?

Lex

 

[dizzzy]

Hey there. Do you have any friends you might confide in, or talk to about this?

Lex

Honestly I don't know. I don't know how they would react. I had one friend who I could. But we barley talk anymore and to be honest I don't feel comfortable going to him now after all that has happened between our friendship.

The rest of my friends. I'm not sure. To be honest it doesn't matter to me who has a problem with it or not. I can move on and survive.

But I don't wanna deal with any BS ya know?

 

[rareboy]

Hmmmmmm....

I'm at a loss here, except to say that I think maybe you need to hook-up with a guy to see if it suits.

If you find that you are leaning more to guys than women, you can start to step out of the closet.

If you find it wasn't everyhting you'd wanted (can't imagine), then you will have a better sense of yourself as well.

Other than that...I've got nothin'

 

[dizzzy]

Yeah see that's the thing. I might at times find myself more sexually turned on by men than women, but I still can get excited by women. So from a sexual stand-point I know I like both for certain.

But I know for fact I can be in a serious relationship with a woman. Where as a guy, I can't say for sure. I mean of all the guys in the world I'm sure there is at least 1 I can click with LOL.

But yeah it's tough because I know sexually I am into guys and probably get into a relationship. Just not sure it can be serious.

 

[Shepherd 2]

IA good friend will not be crazy about holding this knowledge, but I am willing to bet that in time he will be open
and supportive toward you.

I see no oveerriding reasons to come out to the family at this time.
Shep+

 

[Rockhard]

I don't see an overriding issue in coming out to the family at this time either. First things first.

For what it's worth, I used to volunteer at a gay/lesbian hotline and it amazed me how many calls I would get from men in your position. There are a lot of men out there who are in the exact same boat. I mention that only to assure you that you're not alone. One thing that did seem a common denominator, though, was that what was a 50/50 (or so) attraction at a younger age turned more toward a 25/75 attraction toward men at an older age. Unfortunately, many of these men had gotten marriage and were now having a coming out crisis with themselves with that complication to deal with.

Anyway, you might be experiencing a coming out crisis yourself, in that you seem to be recognizing certain things about yourself and wanting to share that, but don't know where.

One thing you might want to think about is to come out to strangers, first (strange as that sounds). Start out by meeting other bisexual or gay people either in clubs, socially, at bars, whatever. Get to know that side of you, and how you ultimately feel about it. (Most of us will tell you that part of the coming out process to ourselves was figuring out who we were vis-a-vis other gay people.)

I hope that there are bisexual organizations in your area--most cities have them. Or, friendly gay organizations where you can be you. Once you're comfortable in that skin, then you can choose to bring your current friends into the fold as you feel necessary or if you want to.

Good luck! No one said navigating this was easy; in fact, it's downright confusing. But, don't feel lost--you're not alone, that's for sure.