^I ask because it matters. If this were a poly relationship conversations could be had about working through jealousy issues. There's multiple ways to do that, from seeing poly-friendly therapists to adjusting relationship dynamics.
But the way you've phrased things makes me thing that he's been seeing you on the side.
Hello guys,
I have been in serious relationship with a bi married guy for 5 years. He got arranged marriage due to family pressure. There were several ups and down in our relationship due to and my main problem is jealousy that he shares his bed with his wife. I have struggled it alot but thinking of breaking up with him breaks my heart. He is the only one i have? He loves me but he cant stop sleeping with his wife because that is something beyond his control but it is driving me crazy. Should i or should i not break up with him and move on since he has two kids now?
So,
His choices are his and your choices are yours. If he
is seeing you on the side, I wouldn't be describing his marriage or seeing you as 'beyond his control'. If he doesn't want to disturb his parent's, society's ect straight expectations (and all the privilege that goes with it) and he's also got you, then he already has what he wants and he's ...unlikely to do anything to change relationship matters. Both you and his wife seem to be getting the short end of the stick - only I'm thinking his wife is probably unaware of your relationship since you
actually expect him to stop having sex with her.*
*(For people unfamiliar - most healthy poly relationships aren't based on the
insistence that you're only allowed to fuck one partner. S'why I think it's cheating is involved instead of non monogamy.)
Personally, I wouldn't stay. Relationships shouldn't contain so many negative emotions over such a long period, it isn't healthy.
(Bluntly, I don't think you should have been having sex with someone in a straight monogamous relationship in the first place for, oh, many reasons - Cheaters never prosper is an adage for a reason, but also because it bolsters someone else's lie at the expense of yourself. Think of this as a learning experience - everyone has them)
In a similar bleeding vein, just because someone (say ....
family) won't like something about you, that does not mean you must kowtow forever and a day. And it does
especially not mean that something is
beyond your control. That's not how adulthood
works. I've noticed this "But it's
emotionally difficult to be honest" sentiment used as a reasoning process to not do any heavy lifting by a lot of guys when it really shouldn't be.
^(Edited to add - Last paragraph speaks of your beau, there)
